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MeandO

I’ve had another trip to the emergency doctor for yet different antibiotics and orders for a chest X-ray and bloods imminently.
Feeling totally fed up of being ill now.

Yesterday was a particularly ‘down’ day and I spent most of the day either in tears or trying to hold them back. DS is now with his dad for the best part of the week and I just started to overthink things which made is spiral from there. I’m just feeling a bit uselesss and inadequate atm and the old ‘life wasn’t meant to be like this’ thoughts surfaced again. Probably fuelled by it being Easter and family time and everybody posting pictures of their family and friend-filled lives which set me off, particularly as DS was with his Dad and the gf’s family, doing ‘family’ things and I was missing him terribly and had no family or friends to spend time with. It just hurts more at some times than others.

I’ve got out and about a bit today which has helped. I went to Wickes to pick up two more tins of paint I preferred whilst it’s the last day of the bogof deal today. I also bought some berries that were on offer in Tesco and went to poundstretcher to buy some food for the birds.

I’ve been looking through some cookbooks today and have decided to do some baking and trying new recipes this week.
I love baking and cooking but haven’t done anything for so long. All that kind of went to pot when I became single again and I no longer had the free time or reason to do it. I need to start looking after myself more and getting back to doing things I enjoy, so this is a start.

crazy_cat_lady

Sorry that you're feeling so rubbish at the moment. The illness definitely won't be helping your mood any at all - hope it passes quickly.
Lots of love to you

Honeysucklelou2

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Pink_Butterfly

Sending you big hugs my lovely. Sorry things are so rubbish at the moment x

MeandO

Thank you all xx

Doctor's again today - signed off for another two weeks and X-rays tomorrow. I have no idea how I'm going to get through another two weeks of, pretty much, just my own company.

DS is coming home for the night tonight and back with his Dad tomorrow. I'm super excited to see him and currently jumping out of my seat every time I hear a car.

The child benefit was paid early last week, tax credits will be tomorrow and payday the following day, so I will at least be able to sort out next month's budget on Thursday. That will give me something to do, at least.

MeandO

Upon checking my bank account this morning, I got paid less tax credits than I was expecting, only by around £15, but I hadn't received any notification about this. I logged on to my tax credits account and it just says 'due to a recent change'... there has been no change.

Anyway, whilst logged in, I thought I would update my details with my new salary for this year - I've had a pay rise of around £300 a year (I'll try not to spend it all at once. ). It seems that, with this small increase in pay, combined with the fact that I no longer run my little business from home, my tax credits will now be reduced by £90 a month. So not only will I not be earning from my craft business, I'll be down by £90 a month too. What a double kick in the bits. :(:(
That's a lot of money to me and has really left me feeling deflated.

I'm also over £100 down in my salary this month from having to purchase annual leave for time off during my house move, so this month ahead will be tight and every month thereafter too now the tax credits have dropped. I'm really going to have to reconsider my savings pots and cut the budget even more. I guess that's the end of the mortgage overpayments.

Today started off lovely, with DS with me, but he'd gone with his Dad by 10am and I then had to go to the hospital for my X-ray. Things went downhill from there really.
I found it quite a horrible, solitary experience. Whilst I'm sure they're all stretched, none of the staff I spoke to were very friendly, some not even polite, and I couldn't help thinking that this may be the only conversation and interaction some people may get with others in a day and what a shame if another person left feeling quite so low as I did. I walked out of that hospital feeling like the loneliest person in the world. And the wettest. The heavens opened and I got drenched through, having parked at the furthest away car park where I knew there'd be a space and not being dressed for rain as it was sunny when I left home.

I had planned to go food shopping afterwards but was too wet to do anything, so came home and changed. I desperately needed a bit of company so phoned my old neighbour who came over for a cuppa. It was lovely to see her, but really made me miss my old house and location even more.

I have tried to keep busy by doing a bit of baking, but I haven't got much in at the moment so adapted a recipe. It hasn't turned out great, but will get eaten.

I have an eye test tomorrow as I'm also having some weird vision symptoms presently that I need to get checked out. My Mum has glaucoma so I am entitled to a free eye test, but it asked for proof of entitlement when I booked the appointment online and I have no idea how I prove that.

I'm going over OH's later when he's home from work. Hopefully that will cheer me up a bit, I can't wait to get out of this house at the moment.

crazy_cat_lady

I really want to give you a big cuddle and tell you everything will be alright. You can get through this - there's lots of stuff going on, and the house move is still very recent, and you're ill. It's no real surprise that you're feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Just survive for now, and look after yourself. You can tackle something else once you're feeling a little bit better.

MeandO

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

I really want to give you a big cuddle and tell you everything will be alright. You can get through this - there's lots of stuff going on, and the house move is still very recent, and you're ill. It's no real surprise that you're feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Just survive for now, and look after yourself. You can tackle something else once you're feeling a little bit better.

Thank you CCL, it does mean a lot and the virtual cuddle did make me smile.

Drawingaline

Sounds like you are having a really tough time.

Tax credits have never ever made any sense to me at all. Mine are going down by £30, but hubby has had a payrise and I need to do my tax return ASAP as it will be going down further. Last year I couldn't renew them until the cutoff as I never received the pack and because I knew I would owe them money it was very stressful.

Hope the xray is clear and you feel better soon.

MeandO

I stayed at OH's last night and I think getting out of this house did me some good as I'm feeling a little bit brighter today. I was back bright and early as the builders are supposed to be doing some remedial work today.

Last night both OH and I claimed our £80 BT reward card as we both changed providers within a week or two. We were wondering where the cards were as they hadn't arrived. Sneakily, you have to click on a 'claim' button within a certain time period for them to be sent out. I don't like that tactic, I bet lots of people will miss out on their cards, waiting for them to turn up in the post.
Anyway, the £80 will be very welcome this month and I'll use it towards the grocery shopping this month. That will free up £80 in the budget which I will either put towards savings or mortgage OP's.

DS also needS some new trainers this month and possibly a pair or two of school shorts if the nice weather continues. I have allocated £50 for this so far, but it may cost a little more, so part of the £80 also may end up going towards those. He will need some new school sweatshirts within the next few months, but I'm really hoping I can eek these out for 3 more months so that I can get them ready for September.

The BT bill was £10 less than I thought it was going to be this month too so that extra bit of money has been swept to another pot.

I've sent £50 to the Emergency fund this morning (now £4850), and the £50 DD to the Help to save account has also gone out (now £650 +£325 guaranteed bonus so far). I've also transferred the monthly £100 to the car & house maintenance/insurance pot (now at £400).

One load of washing is on, unfortunately I'll have to use the tumble dryer as my washing line isn't up yet, plus it's going from pouring down to bright sunshine and back again outside. At least I can almost see the bottom of the laundry basket now though.

I was hoping to get a few sheets of wallpaper up today, but will have to wait for the builders to turn up first.

I may try and sort out DS's drawers today as they're a bit of a mess presently and I'm sure there's stuff in there that he's grown out of recently.