Pregnant Friend Applying for a Job at my Company

Savvy_Sue

pepper77 wrote: »

How would she answer the question "where do you see yourself in twelve months time", a question I used to ask all applicants.

NeilCr wrote: »

Presumably, something along the lines of

"Still happily employed with this company"

Which (in case pepper thinks this would be deceitful) could be entirely true, pregnancy or not, although if they knew how out of date pepper's views are might it colour their expectations somewhat.

I work for an organisation where many roles are legally available to women only: we have had a few men working for us over the years but it's unusual. We've had several members of staff take maternity leave at the same time. We've got one who was offered an external secondment, which she won't finish because she'll go on maternity leave before it starts. It happens. We deal with it.

gettingtheresometime

Kynthia wrote: »

Why would a woman assume she's not going to be discriminated against when seeing the attitudes of many men on this thread? Just because it's illegal doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Plus a decent employer may prefer not to know, then should they decline to employ her they can't be accused of doing so because of her pregnancy.

I'm disgusted with some of the things I've read and the attitudes displayed here. Words thrown out include fraud, betrayal, swanning off, underhanded, etc. How very easy for the men who will never face this discrimination to sit in judgement of women, who are at a very vulnerable time in their life. There's a reason protection is offered by law during pregnancy, and many of you should do some reading and reassess your predjudicies. In the future your comments will be viewed as archaic and wrong as the casual racism of the past.

Women are pregnant for 9 months. They can't always stay with their current employer, redundancy, bullying, etc, or don't want to. Why should they miss out on a better job, one in a better location, or better pay, with better hours, or nicer colleagues because of pregnancy? Two people are having a baby and it's not women's fault that they are the ones that need to carry it. Men aren't trapped with an employer they don't want to be with for a year, aren't prevented for applying for new oppotunities, denying themselves promotion or relocation so why should women be? Especially now that men can take the maternity leave instead of women?

If you're not sure if your attitude is wrong, just think would you say the same about an expectant father? If not then keep quiet and think about how you're part of the illegal discrimination problem women face in this country.

I have no idea about the size of the OP's company but I would imagine that the hiring of someone is a more costly (both of money & time) for a small business than a larger company.

We've looked into hiring someone via an agency and usual fees are about 15% of salary so not a small sum for us......guess how impressed we would be if then two months down the line they announced that they were pregnant and let alone had known about that pregnancy at the offer stage.

Yes with all this shared maternity/paternity leave there's always a risk that dad may want to take time off but in fairness I would imagine that mum would be the primary career.

As for the OP's position I would stay quiet - not my story to tell and all that but I guess that's just another reason why I never 'recommended' anyone to an employer - yes I'd tell someone about a job but that's as far as it went

Samsung_Note2

Kynthia wrote: »

Why would a woman assume she's not going to be discriminated against when seeing the attitudes of many men on this thread? Just because it's illegal doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Plus a decent employer may prefer not to know, then should they decline to employ her they can't be accused of doing so because of her pregnancy.

I'm disgusted with some of the things I've read and the attitudes displayed here. Words thrown out include fraud, betrayal, swanning off, underhanded, etc. How very easy for the men who will never face this discrimination to sit in judgement of women, who are at a very vulnerable time in their life. There's a reason protection is offered by law during pregnancy, and many of you should do some reading and reassess your predjudicies. In the future your comments will be viewed as archaic and wrong as the casual racism of the past.

Women are pregnant for 9 months. They can't always stay with their current employer, redundancy, bullying, etc, or don't want to. Why should they miss out on a better job, one in a better location, or better pay, with better hours, or nicer colleagues because of pregnancy? Two people are having a baby and it's not women's fault that they are the ones that need to carry it. Men aren't trapped with an employer they don't want to be with for a year, aren't prevented for applying for new oppotunities, denying themselves promotion or relocation so why should women be? Especially now that men can take the maternity leave instead of women?

If you're not sure if your attitude is wrong, just think would you say the same about an expectant father? If not then keep quiet and think about how you're part of the illegal discrimination problem women face in this country.

Can see this going Full Metal Jacket....:D

Why cant women simply stay home 1950"s style with a pinny and some good home cooked food in the oven and 2 children sitting at the table doing home work whilst waiting for the lord and master to return home from his very tiring office job.

That way she would have many hours to entertain herself at home cooking cleaning and enjoying Daytime TV...happy and stress free.

Even maybe have the odd coffee morning to catch up with the other local Good house wives.

What a great civilised world it would be...birds tweeting and squirrels chewing on there Nuts..

Smodlet

#The Handmaid's Tale.

pepper77_2

Samsung_Note2 wrote: »

Can see this going Full Metal Jacket....:D

Why cant women simply stay home 1950"s style with a pinny and some good home cooked food in the oven and 2 children sitting at the table doing home work whilst waiting for the lord and master to return home from his very tiring office job.

That way she would have many hours to entertain herself at home cooking cleaning and enjoying Daytime TV...happy and stress free.

Even maybe have the odd coffee morning to catch up with the other local Good house wives.

What a great civilised world it would be...birds tweeting and squirrels chewing on there Nuts..

This thread is, and should be, about advising the OP.

Samsung_Note2

pepper77 wrote: »

This thread is, and should be, about advising the OP.

Oh im sure the OP has read and digested every word...haven't they.

No like most threads the answer is given..in this case opions are yes or no,not much else matters when it comes down to it,yet everyone like to add there opinion and muddy the waters just a little more than previous post.

I've stated my opinion in reply to the post quoted...and thats women should be allowed a second choice and that's not to pressured into work by other over baring females who insist they must work or not welcomed as a female.

Just for clarification...im correct as i said i was correct there for nothing else nor no one else matters...obviously as a male im always right,even when wrong im still right and even if wrong wouldn't admit it as no reason why i should.

Im a genius stuck in a retards body...:D

gettingtheresometime

pepper77 wrote: »

This thread is, and should be, about advising the OP.

Unfortunately the OP had neither responded or even logged on since his second ever post.

Gavin83

Kynthia wrote: »

Especially now that men can take the maternity leave instead of women?

Maybe we need to get to the point where the uptake of maternity/paternity leave is 50/50, at which point they'll be no discrimination as either parent could reasonably take extended time off.

sangie595

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

.... but in fairness I would imagine that mum would be the primary career.

Yes. That's what I would assume too. Hence the point of the thread... It's her career and her choice. Nobody else's.

moneyistooshorttomention

motorguy wrote: »

And irrespective of that - and back to the O/Ps question - its a bit of a !!!!!! thing for his "friend" to do on him, knowing its going to put him in an awkward position.

I'd be seriously knarked if someone did it on me after me recommending them.

I must admit I would wonder why someone that was supposed to be a friend of mine had put me in a "dilemma" type situation like this.

The firm is entitled to know imo - and the friend is showing herself up as not very honest if she takes advantage of the law in order to deliberately not tell them.

I'd be devastated if I were a small business owner and took someone on to find out this was the case - because of the effect it would have on my business - and I would worry about the job security of my other employees because someone had only thought of themselves personally like this friend has. I'll admit it would make very wary of taking on another woman of childbearing age in case it happened to me again.

I can say that because I am a woman.

I understand it would be different if the woman concerned was already working for/established with my firm and then decided to a/nother child.

I think the employer will probably be in blissful ignorance of the possibility of this. They might think of it with a younger woman that has 0 or 1 children. But, by the sound of it, this woman has already had 2 or more children (the reference to the "youngest child") indicates there are at least 2 already. Add that she is in her 40's - and, as an employer, I'd take it as read "Probably too old to decide on having another child. Has already got 2 children (or more)" and have felt quite safe to take her on and that there would be no disruption to my firm.

But - at the very least I question how much of a friend this woman is to OP for telling them about this and putting them in this difficult position.