Pregnant Friend Applying for a Job at my Company

Les79

motorguy wrote: »

Its not a matter of prejudices and insecurities (on my part anyway) its a matter of being honest about it - after all, they cant not offer her the job because shes pregnant anyway?

Lets say i had a back problem that i was managing with pain killers, and i knew in six months time i was going to need six months off for a major operation and recovery time, personally :-

(a) i wouldnt be applying for other jobs, i'd be staying put where i was and where i had built up a relationship based on integrity and trust
(b) if i was approached about another "dream" job and was interviewed for it, i would feel morally bound to tell them.

Hardly a basis for building integrity and trust with a new employer if as soon as you're in the door you go "oh by the way i need six months off"

I agree with you.

Though the world needs to be dealt with on the current terms. Women can get away with this sort of thing currently. It is sort of in complete contrast to, say, 20 years ago but I personally feel that neither of the generations have got the balance quite right.

Kynthia

motorguy wrote: »

EFA

Your wording implies that you are obliged not to say, when in reality you're not obliged to say.

So if they legally cant not offer her the job because shes pregnant, wheres the harm in her saying she is?

Full disclosure and all that

Why would a woman assume she's not going to be discriminated against when seeing the attitudes of many men on this thread? Just because it's illegal doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Plus a decent employer may prefer not to know, then should they decline to employ her they can't be accused of doing so because of her pregnancy.

I'm disgusted with some of the things I've read and the attitudes displayed here. Words thrown out include fraud, betrayal, swanning off, underhanded, etc. How very easy for the men who will never face this discrimination to sit in judgement of women, who are at a very vulnerable time in their life. There's a reason protection is offered by law during pregnancy, and many of you should do some reading and reassess your predjudicies. In the future your comments will be viewed as archaic and wrong as the casual racism of the past.

Women are pregnant for 9 months. They can't always stay with their current employer, redundancy, bullying, etc, or don't want to. Why should they miss out on a better job, one in a better location, or better pay, with better hours, or nicer colleagues because of pregnancy? Two people are having a baby and it's not women's fault that they are the ones that need to carry it. Men aren't trapped with an employer they don't want to be with for a year, aren't prevented for applying for new oppotunities, denying themselves promotion or relocation so why should women be? Especially now that men can take the maternity leave instead of women?

If you're not sure if your attitude is wrong, just think would you say the same about an expectant father? If not then keep quiet and think about how you're part of the illegal discrimination problem women face in this country.

sangie595

Kynthia wrote: »

Why would a woman assume she's not going to be discriminated against when seeing the attitudes of many men on this thread? Just because it's illegal doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Plus a decent employer may prefer not to know, then should they decline to employ her they can't be accused of doing so because of her pregnancy.

I'm disgusted with some of the things I've read and the attitudes displayed here. Words thrown out include fraud, betrayal, swanning off, underhanded, etc. How very easy for the men who will never face this discrimination to sit in judgement of women, who are at a very vulnerable time in their life. There's a reason protection is offered by law during pregnancy, and many of you should do some reading and reassess your predjudicies. In the future your comments will be viewed as archaic and wrong as the casual racism of the past.

Women are pregnant for 9 months. They can't always stay with their current employer, redundancy, bullying, etc, or don't want to. Why should they miss out on a better job, one in a better location, or better pay, with better hours, or nicer colleagues because of pregnancy? Two people are having a baby and it's not women's fault that they are the ones that need to carry it. Men aren't trapped with an employer they don't want to be with for a year, aren't prevented for applying for new oppotunities, denying themselves promotion or relocation so why should women be? Especially now that men can take the maternity leave instead of women?

If you're not sure if your attitude is wrong, just think would you say the same about an expectant father? If not then keep quiet and think about how you're part of the illegal discrimination problem women face in this country.

Extremely well said.

One other point here - people, including employers, act as if producing children is simply some form of personal benefit that gets in the way of good business. Who do they think are the customers, clients and workers of the future? Who are the tax payers of the future who pay for the country's running costs? I think most people forget that the purpose of child benefit, back in the day, was to encourage women to have children because the country needed a higher birth rate! If everyone operated on the basis of "the here and now" then any country doing that would be screwed. It may not be transparent, but "population control" - either by encouraging higher birth rates or lower birth rates- is always a government issue and a social necessity. China might get slammed for being transparent about it, but every country practices population control to some extent, even if it is at a very subliminal level.

The simple answer is that parenting is a social benefit, and if we want to solve this problem of parents taking time out of their working lives to raise children, then the solution was proposed a long time ago - pay child carers a social wage. That way they wouldn't be forced to hang on to their jobs for dear life in order to have a large enough family income to survive as a family. It's amazing that parents who don't work and produce children are slammed as scroungers; and parents who do work and want to work are slammed, often by the same people, as free loaders and selfish- that is, also scroungers!

theoretica

If when I am hiring someone told me that one of the candidates was pregnant but not announcing it, I would be extremely insulted by the implication that I would want to know - the implication being that I would want to discriminate and act illegally. I think it fair to say my relationship with whoever told me would significantly break down.

It is disruptive for a business to have someone off, whether caring for a baby, cancer, or recovering from surgery. But it doesn't get any less disruptive when they have been there longer. If anything the opposite.

Kynthia

theoretica wrote: »

If when I am hiring someone told me that one of the candidates was pregnant but not announcing it, I would be extremely insulted by the implication that I would want to know - the implication being that I would want to discriminate and act illegally. I think it fair to say my relationship with whoever told me would significantly break down.

It is disruptive for a business to have someone off, whether caring for a baby, cancer, or recovering from surgery. But it doesn't get any less disruptive when they have been there longer. If anything the opposite.

I certainly would trust one of my staff less if they divulged someone's private medical information. As a manager there are many times I know an individual's private information or confidential business plans and I'm trusted to treat that information appropriately. So it's a trait I'd be expecting to see in those I employ.

badmemory

Kynthia wrote: »

I certainly would trust one of my staff less if they divulged someone's private medical information. As a manager there are many times I know an individual's private information or confidential business plans and I'm trusted to treat that information appropriately. So it's a trait I'd be expecting to see in those I employ.

And that sounds great & I hope it is true. But I suspect that when the OP's employer discovers that someone they recommended for a job was actually already pregnant & was going to leave them high & dry for a few months that it will be the OP that gets the flak & not the new employee. And that quite naturally is what they are worried about.


Telling a friend that you are pregnant is not private medical information. Hopefully the pregnant one has put it on facebook. Unfortunately the OP is now in the position of not being able to do right for doing wrong.

pepper77_2

pinkshoes wrote: »

You could always mention your friend's pregnancy as a passing comment and how pleased you are for her. Maybe also mention that you are pleased there are so many great candidates that have applied for the job.

Do this and do it on Monday. Slip it into a casual conversation with the person to whom you recommended your friend.


Your friend is deceiving her prospective employer. In effect she doesnt believe they will treat her fairly, that they lack integrity, why should she want to work with them?

TELLIT01

pepper77 wrote: »

Your friend is deceiving her prospective employer. In effect she doesnt believe they will treat her fairly, that they lack integrity, why should she want to work with them?

She is not deceiving anybody. There is no legal requirement to tell a current or prospective employer. It's a law that I don't agree with, but that doesn't change the fact that it is the law.
If the potential employer was permitted to ask if she is pregnant and she said she wasn't, that is deceiving the prospective employer.

pepper77_2

TELLIT01 wrote: »

She is not deceiving anybody. There is no legal requirement to tell a current or prospective employer. It's a law that I don't agree with, but that doesn't change the fact that it is the law.
If the potential employer was permitted to ask if she is pregnant and she said she wasn't, that is deceiving the prospective employer.

How would she answer the question "where do you see yourself in twelve months time", a question I used to ask all applicants.

NeilCr

pepper77 wrote: »

How would she answer the question "where do you see yourself in twelve months time", a question I used to ask all applicants.

Presumably, something along the lines of

"Still happily employed with this company"