Mentally Exhausted (newbie to forum)

hdr

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum and am having a look around at advice etc on here.

I've been in debt now for at least 10 years and i'm really at the point that I am exhausted from trying to get out of it. I have setup budgets using excel over the years and been in and out of work which directly impacts everything.

Currently, I am in a fulltime job which has decent pay and my partner also works good hours. And the debts are coming down but slowly. What gripes me is not being able to save or to have the spare cash to take the children out when the sun is out and not being able to splash out when a good deal comes around.

It really has got me down now.

One thing I thought of doing was to get a consolidation loan so that my debts are paid off and I only have to think about 1 monthly payment rather than the very many I currently have. But with a poor credit score, it doesn't seem possible.

Rant over!! Hopefully I can find some great advice on here and finally get out of this debt asap for the rest of my life.

Thanks

Debtfreeforever

Hi hdr

I know it's isn't easy - have you tried a debt charity?

They maybe be able to budget and also allow for a few luxuries.

findingthisdifficult

I feel similar to you, albeit we don't have children. We've been in debt for our entire relationship (11 years this year)
I'm focussed on clearing the debt, I could probably clear it quicker if I was super strict but I think I would fail if I pulled the strings too tight.

It's definitely worth contacting a debt charity as they may be able to help you with a reasonable budget that would allow for some breathing space. You could also post an SOA on here and the lovely people that have been here longer than us may be able to help you identify ways to tweak your outgoings to allow for a bit of treat money.

Gemsy81

Going to suggest posting a SOA on here - there are so many support, knowledgeable and thrifty people on here, they are bound to have some good ideas for you!

tlc678910

Hi OP if you have a car a National Trust or English heritage membership offers lovely days out with kids for around £10 per month for the whole family. You can look online to see if either has many sites near you. Take a picnic and squash or in the winter a flask of hot chocolate though as the cafes are quite pricey.
Tlc

Dobbibill

hi hdr - welcome to the forum.


A consolidation loan rarely works, you would still owe the money whether it was in one payment or several.

The positive side to having many payments is that you can prioritise the highest interest bearing debt first with overpayments whilst doing the minimum on others.

As one debt is finished so you can recycle the payment from the first debt onto the second debt (along with the normal payment of the second debt).

There is a really motivational post from someone who was considering consolidation on the loans board. Here's the link, have a read.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5567669/unsure-whether-to-consolidate-please-advise


I agree with others, post a SOA - here's the link for that too
http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

hdr

Thank you for the replies. I will look at filling out an SOA and getting back to you all.

EssexHebridean

what Dobbibill said about consolidation - say thank you to that poor credit history for stopping you making what would most likely be a big mistake!

Think about planning some fun stuff for doing with the kids with a focus on "cheap fun" - so picnics (could be your usual meal just eaten outdoors, always more fun!) - maybe a camping trip if you have or can borrow some camping kit? what about local free museums etc? Anything like that? The key is planning a bit in advance as then you don't get stuck in the rut of the only things you can think of to do being the things that cost money! Maybe have a small set sum for treats monthly and each month someone different chooses how it should be spent? That's involving the whole family in things too, and will help the kids to learn the value of money.

zippygeorgeandben

Dobbibill wrote: »

There is a really motivational post from someone who was considering consolidation on the loans board. Here's the link, have a read.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5567669/unsure-whether-to-consolidate-please-advise

Dobbibill - I knew this would be another link to my thread!

enthusiasticsaver

Please do not consolidate. As others have said it never works. You need to address the financial behaviour which got you into debt as a priority.

That means firstly keep a spending diary or tracker. Record every penny spent so you can see where you are overspending.

Do a budget and stick to it.

Save an emergency fund so you are not tempted to use credit if you have an unexpected bill.

Repay the most expensive debts first.

Raise income by selling stuff, taking on overtime or second job, getting a lodger.

Cut costs and post an soa on here.

gwynfil

I hope I won't come across as preaching and patronising. Apologies in advance if I do! I can only say that I've had loads of debts in the past and still owe on one credit card, although that is my final debt. So I'm on my way to being debt free.



I would say that life passes so quickly, if i waited until I was rich and could shop loads to be happy, I'd be very down- because it's not happening anytime soon. I'm in total sympathy with you. I went through all the hard done by me feelings. I've seen discounted tvs (my remote control- some of the buttons don't work). Cookers on offer- My cooker (only the grill and top rings work- the main oven is playing up). I also just wanted to go out and spend my credit card limit on something fancy. However, i didn't spend when I didn't have it and slept better for it.



I want to be without debt. Every little bit you can pay off is an achievement. You are facing your debts, so you are already on your way to success.


Is a low interest bank loan possible at all, as you are in employment? I did this to pay off credit card debts which accrued high interest, whilst a bank loan was a set amount each month.



Really check your budget. I saved money by cutting down my food bill, but ended up eating more healthily and had nicer meals. Going through my wardrobe and wearing clothes for longer, rather than buying new ones. Using up the endless toiletries I buy and buying less- did i need 5 types of shampoo at once? Batch cooking and filling up the freezer. I found £100 a month savings no problem. Using a cheaper hairdresser.



Being thrifty is quite fun and helps the environment. Even now my debts are getting lower, I'm now so much better with money. The thrifty lifestyle has been a positive experience for me in the end. less stuff = less hassle and storage.



I always find that kids just love fun and a bit of attention. Telling jokes. Going out for walks. Cooking some cheap food. drawing competitions. Getting library books out. making up stories. All just about free and educational. (I appreciate it depends on their ages).



Stay upbeat if you can- you can do this!
One of my favourite sayings is 'everything is figureoutable'



You can get debt free and will feel better for it!