Lodger wanting to cook

PasturesNew

I'd say "keep it separate" else this could end in a lot of misunderstandings and tears. Also, just because she wants to cook, doesn't mean she's any good at it, or does it how you like it, or serves the same sides/portion sizes you like .....

In short - food is important to your mental well-being and if she's a duffer you'll be having to force feed yourself muck forever....

She'll also have different opinions about what you should "provide" or how much it's "worth".

Leave well alone. Get chips on your way home the same as you always do. You know where you are when you're independent.

Having meals cooked also then brings with it an overwhelming responsibility to turn up on time.... and be pleasant. No more last minute invites ... of "coming to the pub?" or "fancy popping round and we'll get a takeaway" .... it's like having a wife, but without the sex. It'd get you down.... the conformity, responsibility - and having to be pleasant .... all very awkward.

maisie_cat

Always best to have eating separately as the default. Many years ago I lodged with a girl who thought we should share food. What she meant was that she wanted me to pay half of the smoked salmon she took to work, it took me 2 shops to put a stop to that, I could not afford it for a start.

getmore4less

As above default is separate arrangements most of the time.

You can trial the odd meals that make more sense where cooking in bulk is better.

Curry nights.
Sunday roast

Maybe start with BBQ and split the work both getting mates round.

Mojisola

FreeBear wrote: »

I decided to get myself a lodger - Ended up getting a very quiet pair..

She is wanting to cook meals for both her partner and me

As others have said - thank her but do your own meals, apart from occasional joint affairs if you really want to.

You're already 'outnumbered' in your own house - if you're having to tell your lodger what time you'll be home and which evenings you'll be out, you could end up more like the lodger and her the householder.

sitesafe

It sounds like they're taking over a bit - I had a couple as lodgers once and started to feel uncomfortable when they'd get cosy on the sofa to the point I thought I should go to my room to watch tv. That's when I realised I was outnumbered - like it was their house and I was in the way.

If they've taken up most of the space in the fridge and freezer they should have checked with you first - you shouldn't have to buy a new freezer. Maybe they feel they are justifying this by offering you the food they cook.

Are they both out at work all day? If not have you thought how that will affect your bills? Will you feel like you are coming home to your house?

I'm guessing you're a man and it's a woman and man couple you live with. Some people often have a tendency to 'look after'/mother single men by cooking for them etc and 'play house'. Has she offered to do your laundry yet? Or maybe they are not originally from this country and don't know the lodger status.

I'd definitely keep your meals and food shopping separate. Having a lodger isn't meant to change the lifestyle you're comfortable with. Remember they are paying guests in your home so your rules apply and as it's early days best to sort anything out straight away.

Did you write up a lodger agreement and check genuine references?

They're probably just genuinely nice people who mean well and I'm over reacting so just take what I say as food for thought - it's only my experience of living with a couple and there'll be many who've had good experiences

FreeBear

No space in my freezer for any of their food, hence the idea to get a second, small one just for their use.

One is on ESA, the other works part time, mainly online. They currently spend most of their time in their room, and only venture out to use the kitchen or bathroom - Trying to encourage them to spend more time in the lounge or garden, as I would appreciate the company.

So far this week, I have had three meals cooked for me, and I did one over the weekend. Was thinking of doing another one for them this evening, but they have gone out.

This lodger thing is all new to me, so the experiences of others (both good and bad) are of interest.. Whilst I don't mind providing basics such as sugar, cooking oil, and rice, I will draw the line at smoked salmon and vintage wines.

dawyldthing

You'll have to set the boundaries in winter, esp if you've gone all bills included, or you'll be in for a shock with the gas bill.

But no I wouldn't accept food bills but say you do like xyz and wondered if they would like to do like an advocate Sunday dinner or something as it is nice to share

lookstraightahead

My mother in law has had two lodgers. The first one kept her company a lot and they ate lots of meals together, even went to the pub. The second was a quiet lodger who kept herself to herself and MIL did not like this so she left ....

Keep it separate.

FreeBear

Thanks for the comments so far. I've opted to cook my evening meals this week as I'm working odd hours and getting back late. I'll try to steer her towards cooking one meal per week (say, a Saturday), and I'll inflict a meal on them the following day. This should avoid any arguments over who pays for what when it comes to the food shop.

This lodger thing is all new to me, and I'm trying to get used to having people in the house again.

G_M

You need to sit down and agree, and document, who does what and who pays what.


Every LL/lodger arrangement is different - there is no 'right' way to do it.


What matters is that everyone understands the arrangement from the start.