The whimsical tale of the Waterbed of Debt

beanielou

Enjoy the dark beer :beer::beer:& the chocolate & take it easy!!

Butti

Last week one of the neighbours 'fixed' the back fence. Nobody delivered a replacement but he has wedged something underneath it and put the damaged panel back in. So its been sort of fixed for the moment.

Very kind of the man at the back.

beanielou

Good news on the fence Butti :j :j

beanielou

Oh sorry Butti, how are you?

Butti

beanielou wrote: »

Oh sorry Butti, how are you?

Still feeling really tired Beanie. Better in the afternoons, really crap in the mornings. Hope this is not just a continuum.

My Bimuno has arrived so I hope that makes a difference. It's a pre-biotic.

In other news I have switched energy supplier to the Octu!!!!y one (oooh it doesn't like that one - the one that Donald Trump grabs with 8 hands!) Going to save me £17 a month, which is not an insignificant amount. Was tired of EDF just keeping increasing.

Butti

Was feeling quite depressed.
Feel very tired and unmotivated. Had read articles where it is usual for Dr's to provide thyroxine in the form T3 not in the form T3 with T4. This leads to weight gain. I feel like I am already gaining weight.

It now turns out I know 2 women who have had their thyroids removed entirely and one of them has a friend who has had 3/4 of her thyroid removed. She said initially she gained weight but once they had sorted things out after a few months she lost it again.

I need to know what my levels in my blood tests are for TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) and T3 and T4. My understanding is T3 should be 20% of T4 levels and you need both. T3 converts T4 into the active type of T3. Hope I've got that right. I need to do some reading before I go and see the Dr on Monday.

Should probably not go to the pub this afternoon but there has to be some joy in life.

Butti

I've been doing an Emotional Literacy exercise on weight.

EL is about how nuanced (perceptive) you are about your emotions and how well you deal with them. 'Normal' people have an emotion and process it and move on. People like me, who have issues with particular emotions (mainly sadness, fear and anger) try to step around them and avoid them. We then watch them build up and manifest in depression, eating disorders, overspending and other such fun things.

So every day I get a subject; something that has happened that day or something from the past and break it down. So todays topic is weight. This is a subject about which I have no happiness, joy, surprise or love. Actually I have recently just got on with life and ignored it and it has stayed the same for the past 21 years so that has worked. I suspect we are in for a bit of a wobble in the next few weeks /months.

Prior to the last 21 years it was a bit of a hot potato (one with no butter on you understand :rotfl:)

So from the bubble in the middle of the page marked 'weight' we* extrapolate strands out with the emotions;
anger
fear
sadness
shame

All good stuff - I told you it was a hot potato

More strands come out of these. For me;

Anger - rejection, frustration, exasperation
Fear - scared - worried, inadequate
Fear - anxious - failure, insignificant, worthless
Sad - depressed, lonely, isolated, despair
Sad - shame - guilt, dejection

So in writing it down you start to gently process these emotions.

You also get to sit and ask some philosophical questions about what the belief systems were in the family that led to these.
I've written down twice
No weight is perfect

So in realising that the weight I am at is never perfect, I realised two seconds later that dieting myself out of existance was also a good thing at the time in my head.

The other belief that is reinforced by this was;
I was never good enough

So you can see if you can't process it doing this exercise helps.
As does my mantra

I do not need to be perfect. Good enough is more than enough for me

* Oh look, I suddenly think I'm royal!

Butti

So....

mortgage amount has not changed. It will change on 20th of the month.

Debts are down.

Santander £1710 (DD £150 per month)
Halifax £204 (2 big payments needed)
Barclaycard £4256 (paying down at £100 per month)

Total £6070

Halifax is at 22%. The others are 0%.

Jobs for tomorrow.
Get signed off for one more week and request blood test results, not just "They're okay".
Get calcium and vitamin D supplement.

Need to make sure I do not take calcium at the same time as iron. Take one in the morning, one in the afternoon /evening. Seems they don't like each other - who knew :T

beanielou

Debt will soon be in the 5's :j :j :j :j :j

Butti

beanielou wrote: »

Debt will soon be in the 5's :j :j :j :j :j

Yes, and in about 3 months the mortgage will be in the 50's :j:j:j:j:j
Quite happy with that.