The whimsical tale of the Waterbed of Debt

Butti

I'm in the moment so i shall elaborate on this, and try not to drip on the keyboard.

I want people to try and understand a girl who was primarily raised in the 1970's. Imagine being in the 1970's and that being all you know. This is my early life....as a white middle class girl.......it may not be others.

So you are a girl in a family of five, you are the youngest, you have two older brothers and it is the 1970's. Your father is the most important person in the family. He earns the living, your mother earns the holiday money. Every evening, he gets the most food because he is the wage earner. Then everyone else gets food. If you are short of food, it is your mother who goes without. This happens without expression or even acknowledgement.

In my family (this is weird) there appears to have been an informal rule that whoever finishes eating first can have seconds. Hence I have brothers whose eating habits are just a blur.

I conversely, because I'm a girl, because I was required to be a certain size, a certain shape and to be quiet (because my father was the only person who was allowed to express anger in our house) just developed borderline anorexia followed (when I failed at that!) with other eating disorders.

I'm highly conscious at meal times of how disfunctional my past has been. if I am at a meal with my brothers they will finish at high speed. When i am out with my friends I am just highly uncomfortable, usually because meal times were stressful for me and they like to complain and up the anti and therefore up my stress levels. Meal times for me were a performance and about keeping yourself in check. I remember one Sunday dinner having a too hot roast potato in my mouth, being unable to spit it out and being able to taste blood as it welded itself to the top of my mouth.

On top of this family picture you need to impose the 70's. A media picture where women were adornments, assistants and as a 'nice middle class girl' you were being lined up for teaching, nursing or a secretarial post. Everything on TV had the man presenting and the woman looking nice. The communication was that we needed to do well at school. The metacommunication was that my brothers would go to university and I needed to meet a man that had gone to university.

beanielou

Big huggles Butti my friend.
Just remember that you are awesome & one of the nicest peeple I know xxx

Butti

Bit of a rant last night!

Circle1987

Haven't checked in with you for a while. Good luck tomorrow with your Op. Here, I speak on behalf of a few of us frequent-Butti-responders, when I say.. Have some virtual grapes and a virtual glass of wine (we all chipped in didn't we guys!?) and it's expensive win. Cost us £250 - it's pure vintage so enjoy!
Wishing you a speed recovery and a few overpaid repayments.

beanielou

Hope all goes well for you tomorrow Butti my friend.
Will be thinking of you & chanting too.
Take care xx

starnac

Hope all goes well

Butti

Op was about midday. Was feeling a bit sick but one of my fellow captives has given me a can of coke. Managed to eat some salmon with hollandaise sauce and potatoes and veg. The food is loads better than I remember.
Optimistic about getting out tomorrow.

beanielou

Fellow captives :rotfl:
Hope all went well & you get out tomorrow.
Take care xx

Butti

Not getting out today. Probably breaking out tomorrow once my drain stops draining!

[Deleted User]

That's disappointing for you but think of the money you are saving on food, electric etc! :rotfl: Seriously though, hope you recover quickly and manage to escape!:D