taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Well this morning I got up early to drop my mum at hospital for some stitches to be removed - this means a late arrival to work and making the time up
Rush hour in to the City is not great , however a cab would have cost around £40 and the hospital would not provide transport , although they do for some procedures which is slightly confusing.

My mood has lifted every so slightly but I still feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders although I know I am not - I think that some of this is potentially my own doing
The X still appears to be hopeful of a reconcilation and although I can be amicable and friends ( and I think Friends is the way forward) I cannot and will not be involved on any other level
I am naturally a helpful person and I do not like seeing people upset (or being the cause of it although I don't make his choices for him) and I have said I will help him with some paint selection for his lounge - this I feel is sending a mixed signal and I need to get this sorted as he is clearly reading more in to this then I am prepared to give so I think once again I am going to have to sit down and be quite firm

Money - Not much to report really , I changed some euro back to pounds last night but spent most on lunches for work as mum hadn't catered for them and some postage bags
I bought 2 dresses for my holiday which I absolutely loved but unfortunately didn't quite have the right upper assets - My friend is going on holiday and loved the dresses so I am going to post them to her and she is going to reimburse me for the cost
This will save them sitting in the wardrobe waiting for my chest to grow
I also put £20 in to a family savings pot for xmas , currently my mum pays for all of the shopping at xmas so I came up with a £10 a month contribution from her , myself and my sister to cover all the catering on the day
We then forgot about it so I bought a tin and have put in for this month and last

Scott-Weiland

So where are you going on holiday day then lol?

Thank you for popping in on my journal.

efes_shareholder

I have a week in Portugal ...................fate of which currently undecided but I think I may be going elsewhere

Scott-Weiland

Mine is undecided too its a nightmare isn't it.

efes_shareholder

It is

I have never made plans a year in advance before - Now i know why !

Do you have any idea what you would like to do re your trip ?

Scott-Weiland

I have no idea what we are doing yet, I am still in one over what happened last night.

efes_shareholder

Let it settle and go from there

These things are easier to sort when Tempers have calmed and emotions are controlled

efes_shareholder

So today the mood is once again a bit despondant but since I look around me and most people look depleated I am going to blame this on the Semi Final defeat last night and take comfort that I am not alone!

A NSD yesterday which is great , I have however already spent today and not on something that is a must have - I purchased an autobiography that I have had my eye on since last October. It appeared on my Christmas and Birthday lists but I wasn't fortunate enough to be gifted it.
Its still only available in hardback and has mantained its RRP on Amazon however this morning there were some nearly new editions listed at half the cost price so I have taken the plunge

I do enjoy a good autobiography and chilling our reading saves me from places where the cash may be splashed

efes_shareholder

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear - dilemnas

Remember how at the start of this diary I said I like to have things on the calender ................Well I am so close to booking a trip to SIN CITY
The angel on my shoulder says that I should pay this off my debts , the devil says that we are here for a good time not a long time and we should make memories a long the way

Myself and my best mate always planned to go but my finances never allowed me too - I suggested we go for our 50th's however she is of the mindset that you never know what is around the corner and that next year we need to strike and do the trip we have always planned together

I have found an absolutely cracking deal and I have the cost in savings ( and excess left over ) .................I can do this without increasing my debt whilst still mantaining my payments to reduce and in time get rid of them all together

We have spoken about this trip for many years and always planned to do it - Just recognising the pattern in me that I have been down in the dumps and need something to look forward too so therefore I spend makes me wonder whether I should be doing it

You have to live right ? Is it normal to feel guilty for doing so ?

efes_shareholder

Working_Mum wrote: »

There is always something to be truly grateful for I have found!! Some days you have to look a bit harder but there is always something!

I had an enforced "life laundry" when my marriage broke up 10 years ago - I was sad for a long time but resolved to deal with things in an emotionally healthy way so my future self could live without regrets. It was at the time of Rhonda Byrne "The Secret" launch and so much of it (the law of attraction) resonated with me - I did a vision board about what I wanted my future to look like and it really helped me focus my attention on things I can influence and change i.e me

I would recommend starting a vision board for your future goals and it may help you focus on what is important to you but more importantly it is a reminder of why you are doing what you are doing every day!

Wishing you a truly awesome day!

((hugs))

WM x

This is great advice , I really think this would help me keep my focus as at times it is tough - vacating my home and moving back to my mums although keeps my kids with a secure home often feels like the rough end of the deal and I have to be careful not to wallow over it

In money news , I have been slightly naughty and booked a holiday ! it is on my bucket list and my friend and I have always wanted to do it , I have the money in savings so no debt but there is a slight guilt that I have done this before I clear my debts
I do need to live though - I do need to find some fun in life and I WILL repay myself in to my savings

I have also rather surprisingly given my awful credit score secured a barclaycard on 0% for 18 months with balance transfer - I can move the whole of my balance from nationwide which will save me the 17.9 APR I am currently paying

I cannot explain how pleased I am about this , I wasnt feeling optomistic when I submitted the application