taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

so today I am in the office with egg on face after my team was beaten by the underdog
had a great evening though and thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere of the giant killing , just a shame I wasn't a neutral

Its 5 days until payday
The negatives are that I still haven't got a grip on my budget , I'm still a little partial to an impulse purchase and I still have a tendancy to tap the card ( everyday use) and then leave myself short for last months additions

The positives are - Aside from the trip with the kids , I've spent a small amount of cash this month and managed to muddle through on a shoestring
I haven't put any new trips on the calender despite wanting to have plans
I haven't tapped the card as much , I have about £50 for next month and have promised myself it will not be tapped at all in October

Weighed myself this morning and if the scales are correct ( I need to make sure they sync with those in the gym) I am two pounds shy of 2 stone off since I joined
Its made so much difference to my mental well being as well as my physical shape - my daughter sent me pictures of the photoshoot I did for her company last week and I felt very proud of myself and my fairly trim middle aged torso

I've made lots of changes to my diet which has reduced my digestion problems along with Kittens idea of PRO BIO 7 - I have bread at most half a dozen times since April , no rice , no bread and only minimal potato ( mainly jackets)
I've had no fizzy drinks and cut all sugars other then natural but I haven't denied myself the wine and it appears to be working

All I need to do now is make sure I adapt the same control and disapline to my finances

efes_shareholder

Another NSD yesterday , I think the trick is to convince myself there is no money in the bank even on pay day which incidently is Monday.
Leaving myself not at lot of funds is proof to myself that I don't really need to spend other then the odd top up of food for work and fuel.

The reality of it , there are only two more after before Christmas - I also need to account for NM birthday at start of December , mine is in the new year but I kind of wish mine was first so I had a little bit of steer on the present level
I'm thinking maybe just a token thoughtful gift and organise something nice to do together as he seems to have pretty much everything and isn't life about memories?
I also hate being on the recieving end of other peoples expenditure ( even though i know this is there choice) so if I set the bar , hopefully he will follow my lead.
He is at a weekender whilst I am at my dads although gets home sooner then I - it will be 10 days between seeing each other so I guess I'll see if absence does make the heart grow fonder.
I'm absolutely catching feelings although trying my hardest not too as I'm fed up of being let down by men and don't want to yet rest on my laurels that this time it could be different
Its not helped by the fact that our connection is not "out there" yet amongst our mutual friends , however this is mainly my preference due to the recent prognosis of my ex so its not because he wants anything to be "secret" but rather because I feel now isn't the time and we need to get to know each other and make sure we both want the same things etc before we test and resilance and weather the storm

I've just done a snowballer with my debts and my DFD should be around Feb 21 ( excluding the car) but I'd really like to make it sooner , yet another reminder that I need to grow up and get my shizz together.

I'm planning on making October as less spendy as possible but I am getting to the stage where I have to double fold the waist band on my work trousers so I think maybe replace them with ones with the drawstring facility

efes_shareholder

Gym last night for a row and cycle - I thought my heart was going to come through my chest after 10 minutes rowing ( covered 2000 metres) and am not sure how at one stage I was managing 30 minutes
I am going to have to slowly increase on this again I think

up early this morning to finish my packing before I left for work
Then a quick trip to Mr T to grab some colman sauce mixes and teabags for my dads partner - the difficult stuff that you can't get in the UK.
Typically they were on offer at 4 for £2 and dad had asked for 5 of each , as they were different brand/offers he has now has 8 !!

Its payday whilst I am away so I've had to dip in to the overdraft to cover bills which are due whilst I am away that I dont have provision to do - the overdraft is free and I'll avoid late payments etc so it seemed the best route to take.

I'm determined that this will be the month I get to grips with managing available funds

Will be making some bullet points to assist me when I get home

efes_shareholder

I'm back from a short break - It was very cost effective
Dad covered most of our replacement flight cost and as expected very little cash was needed
My daughter and I treated our hosts to dinner out between us on one night , 2 alcoholic drinks each , steak , fish , calamari - you name it and the bill came to only 50 euro so 25 each
Other then that I spent 30 euro which included a bottle of pink gin at the duty free.
The weather was fantastic and the rest and respite much needed.

All bills except the barclaycard went out whilst I was away , I'm grateful that this months finances are looking better then last months at this stage
I haven't made any bullet points but I did a good job managing on very little in september so i am going to try and adopt the same approach and hopefully even end up with "spare" money
I have a fri night in tonight so maybe I will do that

I've laid it on the line to my ex that I am back on the dating scene and there is no chance of a reconcilation - I've told him the latter many times but I also know sometimes I am too kind and this can be percieved as different to how its intended
It didnt go down well and I heard things like , he doesn't want to live and that he wishes the cancer would take him - Nothing like a bit of emotional blackmail. I take this stuff to heart and I shouldn't however I won't be tolerating too frequent an outburst

Haven't seen the NM as yet as we have both been away and work dictates that its likely to be early next week before we get the oppurtunity
I don't like this but there isn't much we can do about it other then be patient

efes_shareholder

Happy Monday people

Relatively low spend weekend - Did a quick fly by visit to the gym on Friday night and then stopped off enroute home for a bottle of white.

Saturday I had a waxing appointment and then took my daughter to costco , we only needed to go to pick things up for my mum so other then a £1.50 hot dog and soda no spend there.
The place was full of xmas decorations so it has started to confront me that the festive season is not too far away , will need to put some thought in to this

Slight misadventure on Saturday as Friday night after gym I knocked back a bottle of cider vineger and cinnamon which I got a while ago in Holland and Barrett , once I'd adjusted to the taste it was quite palatable and in my thirst I drank it all !! Bit Naive of me really as SAturday when I woke up I couldn't be far away from the toilet.
Enroute home from costco we got stuck in saturday shoppers traffic and it was really touch and go whether I would make it to the next convenient relief stock ..............Buttocks clenched in saturday traffic is not the one but it did provide my daughter with much amusement

Saturday night it was girls night out , tickets in to the club £5 however I decided to drive ( partly because NM was on a late shift and I wanted to see him after nearly 2 weeks and could go from the club to pick him up)
I only bought a couple of drinks £7.50 so all in all a cheap and successful night.
Saw a lot of people which I haven't for a while and was pleased to hear how well I am looking.

Picked new man up and we had a couple of drinks and burnt the midnight oil catching up and then I took him to the station late morning yesterday as he was again at work

Yesterday was a rarity as my mum was out to my aunties for dinner so I had the house to myself - I took the oppurtunity to just have a sunday afternoon chill and also put my clean washing from spain away and change my bed and then headed over to the gym early evening
My arm is still tender so I gave the rower a miss but did 30 mins HIT setting on the bike along with the weights I've been incoperating
Decided I would weigh in and was pleased that I'm another 2lb down and now within 0.5% of my suggested BMI
My body fat index and max are within the guidelines and I'm about 4/5lbs away from where I want to be which is great. My current weight is 3lb shy of being 2 stone lighter then when I first signed up for the gym.
I feel so much better , more confident and more energetic and its motivating to hear others tell me that I'm looking great
I guess the real test will start when the dark nights draw in and the gym is even less appealling !!

Had to spend £2.99 this morning as I stupidly left my gym gloves in there last week , I bought a cheap set after I ended up with blisters on my hands from a 30 minute session on the rower so I should have these in my bag I think

efes_shareholder

Happy Tuesday

So today started as a spend day as the shopping wasnt delivered yesterday so had to get myself something in for lunch ! also felt in need of a golden arch breakfast this morning so I indulged..........it must be 6 months since I had one , but I figured every now and then it wouldn't hurt and I have all day to burn it off - and I am in the gym tonight

Was that convincing enough ?

Going to take advantage of meerkat tomorrow and go to see the Joker with NM
It isn't my ideal film choice however the reviews are great and we have reclining seats so I'll go with it

My shipment of replica football shirts has arrived from DHgate , £15 a shirt including shipping rather then £60 from official sources and a carbon replica of what you find in store , I combined my order with my friend and a work mate to consilidate the shipping so thats my youngest nephews Xmas present sorted - I just hope the player name I chose doesn't depart in the January transfer window !

efes_shareholder

An unplanned spend of £20 yesterday as I learnt that an old school and neighbourhood friend who had a car accident last year and will never walk again - he has a go fund me page to try and raise money for a motorised chair so that he can return to as independant living as possible when he leaves rehab - we were a very tight bonded group of teenagers who all hung about the same estate and even 30 years on we class all the kids of that time as our family
It brings home how quickly life can change and I wanted to help him in what little way I can
Also made me realise that my kids and probably most of their generation will never have the fond memories of playing around the estate etc as its something that isn't so much a normal occurance as it was when I was young.

Shortly be collecting NM and we are going to see the joker on my meerkat and then he is buying dinner. Looking forward to that

[Deleted User]

Sorry to hear about your friend, ES. £20 well spent!

Enjoy the cinema and dinner x

efes_shareholder

Well the film was an experience and it didn't blow me away , in fact it was quite depressing !! we ate afterwards at a turkish resturant which was lovely but in hindsight it was very late to eat and we probably should have done so before the screening as it was hard to settle with full bellies - the food however was so plentiful that I have a very nice box for my lunch today

my work mate has weighed me out in cash for the shirts i bought for them so i have made sure i have sent the same money from my bank account to the card which the bill is on so i dont "forget" , spend the cash and then have to find it at the end of the month - I will operate on the cash for this weekends long overdue haircut.
Will do the same with my friend and daughter who also bought shirts.

Nationwide have added an adjustment to my account which looks like the return of our thomas cook flight monies which is a bonus , it wasn't a huge amount but i'd obviously much rather have it back.

I feel like I'm starting to regain focus after a couple of rather spendy and not well handled months , this months remaining balance is much healthier then september and I have to just remind myself that I don't need any impulse purchases

At some point I am going to need some new work trousers - I am doubling and on some trebling the waistband over and look like a bag lady
I'm holding off as long as possible but I may go with drawstring waist when the time comes

I am really hoping not to drop a jean size as I bought several pairs early in the year as I really like the fit/cut and being River Island they werent cheap but I justified that you get what you pay for and I felt good in them so they would get worn .................I don't want to have to replace these !!

Busy night tonight , gym from work and then a hair dying session with my best mate so i'll be in from work late
plan is to settle down and watch the apprentice
NM is home and did have plans which have now been cancelled so I could head that way but I've been there last 3 nights and it means later nights/earlier start - I think burning the midnight oil has caught up on me !!

efes_shareholder

Thank god its Friday !!

Gym last night , petrol light came on enroute home but I didnt fill up until this morning so technically another no spend day
Got my mate to dye my hair , this is a saving compared to salon , I seem to bare a uncanny likeness to a badger after a fortnight.
Another of her friends were visiting , I declined the offer of joining them for a takeaway and came home to lamb casserole.

Feeling very fat and sluggish today , Something feels slightly a miss with my digestion
Diet wise I've had a slightly different eating plan this week and I'm sure higher carb consumption so will keep an eye on this

Compared to this stage last month , it looks like I could be in for a good month budget wise , which is what I really need to drum home that unplanned and unessential spends are not good news

I did spend something today but it wasnt my money , NM and I are off to amsterdam , I'd booked a holiday inn at £120 a night ( amsterdam is so expensive) which could be paid on arrival and cancelled up until the day we arrive. My thinking was if nothing better presented itself we had secured a room in a central location
However yesterday I found a 4* right on Damm square which I know has a great reputation from my days in travel for £100 a night , signed in to expedia and also had £15.00 worth of credit in Expedia points and used a discount code and got the room down to £162 for the two nights.
Its still enough for a hotel room but this establishment is usually around £160 a night upwards and is far better inside and location wise then the holiday inn so I consider it a good deal. NM is paying for it so the saving is for his benefit but I do love a bargain

I've also advised the hotel we are celebrating a speciall occassion in hope we may get a complimentary upgrade ...........we aren't and its a little cheeky but don't mention anything and we probably won't !