taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Good morning MSE'ers ...............Wow where did the weekend go?

I have 5 days until payday and £5.01 to my name......Owed £22.00 by my youngest for his phone but other then that where did that money go !!
I have managed to preserve the £100.00 I put in to savings so thats something and provided I don't need to refuel the car I should get to payday by the skin of my teeth

It absolutely seems that the start and tail end of the month I have my most spendy periods.
Friday I went to watch a friends son in a boxing tournament , the ticket was gifted however £5.40 on the train there and back and £10.00 on drinks
Saturday was an all day festival that I love as its family based but around my music genre , took my youngest daughter who loved it. Spent £10.00 to park the car ( criminal but all for charity) £23.00 on provisions /picnic for the day and £5.00 on breakfast enroute. It was a blissfully relaxing but tiring day in the sunshine , as I drove I also rewarded myself with a £7.99 bottle of wine when I got home.

Sunday , I went back to the gym - my general fitness has lapsed due to my knee still being sore, I was going to return the support I bought to sports direct ( couldn't use it as they didn't remove the security tag) however when I went in to the shop they only do store credit or exchange and as I hate the shop I decided to keep and use the support after all - I am glad I did as it made all the difference to my circuit.
Small spend on the car park 50p
I then went to the cinema with my daughter to see toy story - I love the films and it makes me very nostaligic as they were much a part of my kids childhood
Ordinarily I would have preferred to go on a meerkat deal however the shifts my daughter works don't allow this and as a sunday event its quite a nice way to end the weekend.

payday this week and the first job is to get the car through its MOT. I've booked it in. It shouldn't need very much but I am getting a squeaky noise on the brakes ( seems to do this once its rained and then dried out) so I'm half expecting some new pads or discs to be required , Potentially there is also a tyre. The garage I use also look after our fleet at work so they won't take my pants down. I am very much of the thinking that your car needs to be safe so I shall be asking him to do these two jobs if they are an advisory as I may not know when they become "illegal"

efes_shareholder

Not too much to report on - waiting for returns to hit my account with Very

Checked my Noddle account - now credit karma and my ticks are gradually increasing , I think this is because I no longer have any unsettled defaults and I am not utilising all of my available credit.
Small steps but can see the amount I owe going down on this site and I have to remind myself that my car is not as I call a "historic" debt and something I needed rather then a reckless spend

Holiday blues are in full swing , there is a weekend event I usually attend happening this weekend , It was one of the ones I chose not to do this year in an effort to not say yes to everything
I am going to miss it and i think as I won't be doing a soul holiday next year I will possibly go to this one again in 2020

I've been exploring the possibilty of visiting my family in spain , I have found flights for under £60 which seems pretty good value for a few days break and almost cheaper then staying at home as I won't need any money when I get there. Very tempted by this and may be enough to settle my travel bug
My relatives out there are in their 70's so I should visit whilst I still have them as you never know when you won't have the oppurtunity again

efes_shareholder

So I took the plunge and booked flights to see my dad £52 return for a week in the sun , can't be bad
we are so remote that its impossible to spend a lot , in fact i have never spent more then 60 euros in a visit in all the years I have been
Aswell as visiting my dad who is getting no younger - as parents get older we start to realise that they will not be around forever

My toe is in the overdraft by £11.00 ( Wont have any charges) however my daughter still owes me £26.00 from the weekend and my son £22.00 so technically I haven't overspent

I got on the scales this morning and early indications are that I am approx 1 stone lighter then when I joined the gym , I still have about another 6lb to go for me to feel content - most of these in the places most middle age ladies look to trim - the muffin top , the flab made fanny pack and the bingo wings !!
I do feel considerably better for it , I have scratched most of the rubbish from my diet including white carbs and have upped my protein intake.
I've also restricted my intake of fizzy drinks and sugar.

I'm looking at where I want to be personally now as there is a bit of movement on the man front , for now all of my options are open however I could need to make some choices on that in the forthcoming , I have a dinner date this weekend - I like the guy however some reservations as he is a little older then me ( but in great condition) and also we both move in the same circle and are friends with each others ex's ! I am a believer in not crossing swords when it comes to this however I don't know his ex more then to say hello too and exchange pleasantries where he is a bit closer to mine. He doesn't see an issue with it ( although I know he still has strong feelings for her ) as we are both single however I think it could just be a friends with bens things
Time will tell , everything starts as friends with bens after all

efes_shareholder

So today I have an upset belly - I think its down to my toxic ex who has been back on my case telling me how much he has changed etc and wants another chance , seems quite ironic given the fact I've been in the company of one of his friends recently
I don't know if he had been drinking but he said a few things I found emotionally blackmailing - like he would top himself if I found someone else
It wasn't a pleasant communication and although it didn't get too me or make me want to reconsider ever parting company etc I think it has inadvertantly made me anxious and unsettled me a little bit
Whatever he chooses to do will as ever be his own choice.

Quidco came up trumps for me yesterday and rolled in with about £35 in payable cashback , I will be waiting for that to hit my account and then allocating it to my capital one balance that I want cleared ASAP

The car is booked in for an MOT tomorrow so I have to get it to my garage after work to pick a courtesy car up , Hopefully it will go straight through but I am expecting a tyre or brake pads - I was planning on going to the gym tonight but it means I literally drop the car off and come back to where I just came from so instead I think I will do the local aqua aerobics class , this will cost me £7.40 but I haven't done one for a while and it may be good to mix it up

efes_shareholder

So fortunately the garage could look at the car when I arrived , pleased to say we sailed through with nothing needed and no advisories
Very Very happy with that one so thank you to anyone who issued prayers.

payday today , quite a lot to pay out for this month and I think it will be frugile but I don't want to send any payments yet , I have a few more days before I need too so just for now I'd like to look at it for a little bit longer.

Did aqua aerobics last night , it felt easier then it had before and i could really feel my body stretching itself out. I don't think it will do any harm to mix the excercise up slightly

efes_shareholder

It looks like I spoke too soon with the car - no sooner had I got back on the road , I was travelling along a country road when a car came at speed in the opposite direction which caused me to pull over and typically I hit a pot hole which tore my tyre.
£95.00 for a replacement , very annoying considering it was the lack of care and attention from another driver which caused the incident

Looking at what is left this month in the kitty , it is going to be a very restrictive month and I will have to be as frugile as possible to make it through within the available spends

I have to resist the urge to use the credit card and just buy essentials - I plan to optomise the gym membership and restrict myself socially to try and achieve this however July feels such a long month

efes_shareholder

The reality of a very budget restrictive July is hitting home - Had a good look through and although I had some obligations the old foe of clearing the nationwide C/Card when I use it is having some impact

I have to stop this cycle ! I think I may be putting it in the freezer like others have suggested. Although I'm clearing it in full I need to stop pushing spends on to the next month salary
I need to get a grip of the budget and get a sensible one which can be implicated

I am contemplating taking some savings to clear some of the niggly stuff like the capital one which is now gaining interest and just leaving myself with the 0% Barclaycard and the car - these alone are a significant chunk ( just short of a quarter of my monthly salary )
In my mind if I straighten up the loose ends there will be more oppurtunity to save , I have these in prem bonds so I could in affect set up a direct debit so that they are replaced.

I have very little left this month to cover personal spends which isn't a massive issue however I do have a trip up north for my sons graduation which means rail fare and a celebration lunch plus the standard graduation pictures
I won't go to Aqua again and will use the gym membership instead and I will reduce the sunbeds , I do these because they really help my excezma and because I prefer how I look with a tan , I did got over the top before I went away as its a great base for a week in the sun but with the glorious weather we are having at the moment perhaps I don't need to do one.
I've resisted the urge to renew my football membership which enables the ticket purchase , its £50 a month and to be honest , the trips were becoming much more regular and this was also throwing my budget out.
I have tickets for a pre season friendly and unless some bargain family day tickets come up that will be my nephews lot this season.

I have another date with the same guy this friday and he is looking for ideas on what I would like to do , he didn't let me contribute to dinner last week and said that is how he rolls but its completely out of my comfort zone to allow a man to pay for everything and I am fiercely independant and like to contribute , he has suggested we go in to london for a mini bar crawl , this is a red flag for me as its easier for me to throw caution to the wind when I have cocktails and the feel good factor , I would rather go to a pub with stand up or a pool table so that drinking is not the only activity but I will play by ear as we haven't discussed since the weekend

efes_shareholder

Forgot to add , tonight I have my follow up appointment for my not clear smear - I can't put in to words how much I hate them !!
I will be taking ibuprofen and paracetamol and clinging on to my water bottle for dear life

have to allow £3 for the hospital parking ..................hopefully I can find a spot on nearby residential street but it may be worth the £3 rather then risk breaking a parking restriction

efes_shareholder

So I made a school girl error and got my dates muddled up - my appointment is actually tonight
That messed my planned gym session for this evening up so I motivated myself to get up at 5 this morning to do it before work , this was helped by the fact I went to bed at 8pm
Annoyed with myself for the confusion but at least I was a day early and not a day late , the hospital car park didn't charge me as my stay was short lived so aside from the wasted diesel and time no harm done.

Have managed to get a free nail appointment at work , I had them done for the spurs champions league game and they are now in a sorry state
I have no funds for them to be redone this month so when I saw our office technican doing freebies , I asked when I could book for and luckily there was a cancellation
this also means my nails will be nice and fresh for my date tomorrow

I am down to the bare wire with my funds this month , I think the reality is that I have been winging it a bit
I'm not being wasteful , I'm just not taking everything in to consideration.
In my head I need pots but in reality I only have a savers pot on my account ( although do have monzo I can use) and I need to either move all the pots in to the savers for when they are needed or forget the pot and put it aside as a rainy day fund.

Currently I have £6050.00 in my prem bonds £640.00 in my EF which took a bash when the dog got ill and £276.00 in my current account of which £120 needs to cover barclaycard and gym which means £146.00 balance
I've got a almost full tank in the car and will need another refill this time next week and potentially more before the 31st which is payday

I have £250 free overdraft facility , I'm inclined to use this if I need too this month and sparingly if I at all can , cash in some bonds to replace this back on an even keel and use the remainder to clear the niggly little payments that I can't seem to get rid off
I am thinking a max of £500 and at the same time setting up a standard order to get this back to where it was and then continue adding

As you can see I really have to get a handle on this , I've paid out a few things on future deposits , used the c/card last month which I now need and it appears not learnt much

Am I giving myself the easy way out if I do as I suggest above ? I just feel like the wheels have come off , its harder then I thought and I need to get myself back on to a starting point to really start getting on top.
The summer months are always tougher.

Mrsmac2007

Found your diary whilst idly scrolling through these pages. I love your honesty. Good luck with your date x