taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Kitten868

I would say my nan loved it when she moved into a flat. So much less to look after and stuff to have and things to look after. Plus so much easier for my mum to go over and clean. It was supported living initially and she lover having similar people around her and joining in with clubs. My nan wasn't the most sociable person either. Might be a good plan. Xxx

efes_shareholder

Thank you guys , Lots to think about and lots of thought to be given.
I can't continue like this long term - there a few options flying around including selling the house to relenquish my equity in it ( Ideally the new GF would buy me out but I dont think that is likely )

The week has improved in some ways but got worse in others - I found a key scratch on my car on Weds , its deep enough to need attention and is prob 12 to 18 inches.
I am so so annoyed and disapointed
Its a key scratch and is intentional but I have no idea if its a targeted act of maliciousness or where it happened so I guess I will never know

I dont think it was there prior to monday as I walked a work mate round the car as she is looking to buy one and I didnt notice it - Its passenger side though so I wouldnt notice it so readily.

Hopefully one of my best friends husband who is an ex car sprayer can sort it out for me , but its really annoying as he shouldn't have too and there will be some expenditure too

I'm considering installing a dashcam with a motion detector and park mode - I was looking at these and was considering having one fitted when the MOT is done in July but the fact its a convertible limits some of the models offering rear view
I don't think there is anyone in this world who dislikes me enough to make this targeted but this world is full of crazy people so I guess I will never know and I need to put things in place that are a deterrent if that is the case.
All I keep seeing is the scratch and all i keep thinking is "yet more money"

I have very little funds available until payday on the 29th March and although I have my EF this is slightly concerning
Not because I don't have money but because no matter how much I look through this months spending I can't see what is accountable for this - I did have to pay my weekender balance and I did have my daughters birthday so maybe those two were enough to tip things slightly out of sync
I have also prior to and during Vegas starting having a balance on my c/card to clear at the end of the month and I know that is a contributing factor - I am on a new statement date now so this is the time to nip this in the bud and get out of the habit
It appears that once I start to tap it I revert to old habits , I am not leaving anything hanging over but it also means come pay day I am clearing old purchases
I do really need to get my budget under control once and for all - If this means tapping in to the EF in short term then so be it but if I want progress in life then I have to drop these habits for good , I seem to slip back to the TAP so readily and then forget what I have to clear

Its frustrating right now , things are coming down but I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 back at times

Collecting my daughters car tomorrow , just me , her and her dad as it should always have been
Seems like a bit of a sh*t storm was created for no good reason there !

Kitten868

2 steps forward 3 steps back. So bloody true. And yes use the card for something planned then for 40 things that weren't. This is how I'm getting it wrong too.

I think there are templates on here for my mum's situation won't improve please write off her debt letters. Xx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 wrote: »

2 steps forward 3 steps back. So bloody true. And yes use the card for something planned then for 40 things that weren't. This is how I'm getting it wrong too.

I think there are templates on here for my mum's situation won't improve please write off her debt letters. Xx

Hi

Is that still possible even though she is a home owner

I think they can can insist on a charge on the property so that money is recovered from her estate when she is no longer here

Kitten868

I don't know. Might be one for the geniuses on the wannabe board

efes_shareholder

Happy Tuesday MSE'rs

Well middle is now mobile and my twilight hour mum run is no more.......thank god
The GF didnt come and has since creating the storm decided that she didn't mean anything she agreed with my daughters and does not want to be amicable
Well if she had only said so in the first instance she would have saved a lot of upset
Its now clear to see where the problem lies..........there is only room for queen B which will never be her and I'm smiling with the satisfaction that things will continue as they are and she has excluded herself more so going forward
Ironically my ex and I had no akwardness on the journey , in fact he couldn't have been more conversant

Home is still not great - It seems I just moan about different things but even my sister says she does not know how I cope.
Currently the moan is the dog. He has taken to crying for no reason and has been quite relentless in his wails so much so next door came to check on him and have taken to the radio to drown him out.
This will sound terrible but I really hope they report this nuisance to the council as maybe then I will get some peace from both sides.
I have done a lot of thinking and I think for my own sanity I have to consider alternative living arrangements although this is more likely to be a house share then my own front door.

I need to really get a handle on the budget which I appear to be failing at recently to make this happen

Its always a traditionally expensive time of year for me between Xmas and May due to the festive and 95% of the immediate family birthdays so I need to try and make things work so that I can do this and also cover everything whilst still mantaining some quality of living.
One to be given much thought over the forthcoming months

I'm struggling to make the month fit the wage this month , I was grateful to see a quidco payment coming forth this morning and that may just make the difference between dipping in to the back up fund and not - on a daily budget I have around £12 a day which should be sufficient however I will need fuel in the next few days , I may just put enough in to see me to pay day rather then replenish the entire tank

I've had a quote for the damage to the car which is £160 , Its not as bad as I thought it was going to be but it does mean travelling to the recommended repairer and being without a vehicle for a week or so.
The eldest has kindly agreed to loan her car whilst she can borrow her boyfriends.
I have ordered some warning stickers that advise the car has in car recording and will have to look at some kind of onboard camera - hopefully enough of a deterrant if this was a malicious act in my direction.

I was naughty yesterday and bought some tickets for my football teams test event before their new stadium opens - I'm taking my little nephew who has been anticipating the opening having seen the ground on Fifa 19.
It wasn't terrible at £6 for the two of us and I don't know when we will get to see it for real so hopefully we can have a good look round.
My own son never got in to the game so its nice to have a little mate who shares my passion.

efes_shareholder

Happy Wednesday

I am pretty sure my ongoing sneezing is an allergy , the only remedy working is hayfever tablets

I couldn't bare the thought of the yapping dog again last night so I stayed at a friends , this did mean a different journey to work today and as the motorway was shut it doubled my usual time
coupled with a scratch on a country lane when the vehicle oncoming on a country lane was hogging the road and a clip on my wing mirror and its fair to say I haven't had much motoring luck of late.

NSD yesterday so I now have a daily allowance of £14.11 until payday.
I will need fuel before I am paid and I need £14.80 for two aqua aerobics sessions and a little bit of change for the visit to the new stadium on Sunday

I've realised with a holiday balance and a car repair next month is going to be just as restrictive as this month

I need to find a cheap distraction ie hobbie to keep my mind occupied instead of holidays , I've been making lots of soup and really want to get a healthy lifestyle where I can now I am a non smoker , Technically a gym membership would only be another £5 a week then what I pay for my aqua class at the moment but will I use it

efes_shareholder

Morning

Well its thursday already
I tentatively put £17 of diesel in the car this morning , optomistic that it will last the week until payday
As its due to be fixed next week I am going to go for the small measures in the tank as I will need to put fuel in to my daughters car.
I've also spoken to Virgin Media , our bills were creeping up to nearly £70 since they don't include weekday calls and as I take care of this bill I spent 40 minutes on the phone to them to try and make sure we are on the right tariff.
End result the all inclusive bill is now £48 including evening and weekend calls.
I know there are cheaper options out there for TV /Fibre and phone deals but the reception is particulary terrible in our area so I like to stick with this.

I'm having another woeful day , just feeling incredibly alone and overwhelmed but not wanting to be a nuisance to anyone who seem far too consumed in their own lives to give a second thought to how I am.
I'm beginning to dislike people , A few years ago I had an ambiance of friends around me but slowly over time people show themselves for what they are.
I've got current friends but not friends I feel I could confide in as I know they love nothing more then to gossip whenever they ever have company
Even if I had somewhere to go with the current feelings I am not sure how I would even explain them to anyone or what I am thinking/feeling.
I'm missing having someone looking out for me and making a personal investment in to genunially having concern for my wellbeing.
There don't appear to be many people out there who don't have their own agendas
I think maybe I'll end up a crazy cat lady later in life as they are more straight forward then humans

Kitten868

Oh ES,

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I know what you mean about not being able to share your life for fear of it becoming gossip. Your life is currently very challenging and would make anyone feel depressed.

Like I said before what is it that you want most? If it's to move out work out the steps to make that happen. How many months of no expenses would it take? How easy would it be to claim your home equity? I don't know where you live you know if your equity would buy you a house or a full share of a shared equity property? If you should pursue becoming a lodger?

You can come through this. And you will but for now its hard xxxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 wrote: »

Oh ES,

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I know what you mean about not being able to share your life for fear of it becoming gossip. Your life is currently very challenging and would make anyone feel depressed.

Like I said before what is it that you want most? If it's to move out work out the steps to make that happen. How many months of no expenses would it take? How easy would it be to claim your home equity? I don't know where you live you know if your equity would buy you a house or a full share of a shared equity property? If you should pursue becoming a lodger?

You can come through this. And you will but for now its hard xxxx

Thanks Kitten - realistically its around 2 - 3 years enough I can push the sale of the house.
my eldest is looking for a purchase with her boyfriend now , I think the youngest will settle in a northern town and the middle is the home hermit who will probably still live with one of her parents when she is 52

I have a substantial whack to come from the property , enough to put down a sizeable deposit on a purchase but realistically I am only in the market for a bottom end 2 bed flat as we live in south east , around 10 miles outside of London. When the time comes I won't care as long as its mine to make home however I'd like to have room for middle
I don't need to stay in that area but as with the whole of UK , prices have risen widespread and to get considerably cheaper or a larger property I would need to go another 20 - 30 miles outside of London.

moving out is mixed really , My home life drives me mad at time and gets me down but I know it helps my mum , not only from a financial point of view but also a personal and I guess I am being a little selfless by putting this before my own sanity.

I'd like to have made considerable dents in the debt and also boosted my EF before I consider it too seriously and if I am realistic that will possibly not be until after xmas.

I begrudge paying someone elses rent and rather then plummeting all my available cash in to utility bills etc would like to be getting more funds together to hopefully boost what I can eventually buy.
I'm not sure about room shares , I have heard good and bad on this part - I have been researching property gaurdianship which I think may be the best option for me since I can be very flexible on where I live.
There are some very appealling units which with services included are available at very reasonable rates
Obviously the only downside is that you have to be in occupancy for the majority of the time and also that you get moved on at very short notice.
One of my friends did it and it served her well for a purpose , she actually got to stay in a suite of a hotel which had ceased trading and just had to share the huge catering kitchen

Today was meant to be a NSD but I failed , I ended up going to the golden arches for a breakfast stop when it transpired that there was no coffee left at home , well i guess it is Friday !