taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

thank you guys

it was so tough telling my mum  , so unexpected and such a shock - hes been an absolute godsend at times and helped us out wherever he can , just doesn't seem right that he isn't here anymore. He was the strong one , the anchor of the family.

lucielle

So sorry to hear your news
L

Kitten868

I'm so sorry. On all of the levels. That really is terrible. It so quickly changes everything. Sending good thoughts for your aunt too. 

You didn't need to explain the a&e avoidance. I completely understood. Honestly, I think you're wonderful x

efes_shareholder

it really has been a huge shock , my uncle had two children , the eldest of which is exceptionally volatile and is causing mayhem for his sister who suffers mental health issues  
hoping it all settles down , my cousin has already been in to the house searching for my uncles will when his mum is fighting this awful virus from intensive care , wants to organise his dads funeral when really his mums prognosis needs to be clearer.

Mum is in shock and just can't digest how the strong brother is no longer here , my aunt is visiting her today with my cousin which I hope will do them both good

in other news I have paid the large c/card bill with the car service , i moved the car service money over from savings as the last few months have had big spends ( 350 for new glasses , 600 odd for new phone ) which I have soaked up from my salary , I need to let my account recover and I need to clear the debts on target at end of January 
The bonus was small then anticipated and once the tax man took his bit didnt really make the difference I'd hoped for.
I need a tank of fuel which will be around £70 

efes_shareholder

today I am tired

aunt and cousin visited on friday , fri and saturday were stressful , mum would not sleep , she looked exhausted but could not settle down for any length of time and barely slept a wink on friday night , carried on fighting it all day saturday until an anti anxiety tablet sorted the problem. She said she was worried that if she went to sleep she wouldn't wake up , just as my uncle didnt.
She cant seem to process that he had covid and she doesn't 
We seem to have now overcome the problem but it made things to much trickier.

I took NM out for dinner on friday night once mum was settled , just a few minutes up the road so we could be back quickly and saturday morning we went to the market , wasnt much on offer but got mum some loungewear and then we went to the cafe , sister came in for a couple of hours but seemed liked she couldnt wait to get off to get some of her day off for herself , I get it I totally do but again cant help but draw comparisions and my day off is never my own.

NM went off to do somethings with his friends int he afternoon and then came back in the evening , he had dinner with us and we watched the football and for first time ever he stayed over , it was ok , it proves it works and it gives me a little support should I not be able to go to his for any reason although ideally i need to break free of this house.

Yesterday we went for sunday dinner with friends , it was lovely , our friend is looking after his mum with dementia and the strain on him was quite apparant , I guess everyone has their challenges 

last night we just chilled and then today he took my car to the garage as the tyre still keeps going down despite being replaced , its all sorted now and no charge thankfully , just as well since the service and tyres was 480 recently 

I've paid a few bills this morning and now I'm trying to work out the xmas budget , it seems to sneak up every year , have absolutely no idea how the actual day will be spent this year 

efes_shareholder

cousin visited today , she seems to be bearing up ok 
good news is my aunt is now in a london hospital but can have visitors as long as they are fully PPE'ed up

went over to NM's last night , was shattered but cooked us a nice dinner and also cooked him his favorite go too meal for the week , also did a pot for his favorite work mate too , i'll take it as a compliment to my cooking.
I've managed to somehow cause my arm some damage ,its really painful in certain positions.

works been manic , probably feels more so because I had a guest but in the circumstances didnt feel right to refuse. my boss did call me this morning to check on my welfare and that I wasn't overhwhelmed which was nice of him 

Havent spent anything today , just looked at my balance before the big hitting direct debits go out , such a shame that happens

keeping an eye on the house prices in the area , the neighbouring property up for sale has been so for 6 weeks and has just dropped the asking value which provides me with some hope.

efes_shareholder

just remembered to check my PB , another £75 win this month 

Works out to £275 in wins since I invested in June , happy with this and the 50k of my house money that i put in to bonds has far exceeded the 80 odd in my savings account linked to my bank which has generated just £14 in interest

What a shame there is a limit on the holding , still this will be transferred over to my savings pot which needs refilling since the car service was paid this way 

Seasidegal58

Just sneaking out of lurkdom @efes_shareholder - I agree about the PBs - I've done exactly the same with the new house cash I'm holding for now. I've only won £75 since May but a couple of people I know have had some good regular wins like you.  Certainly beats current interest rates. 

And please let me add that I have every admiration for you in the way you are keeping things going for your mum and continuing to work at the same time in difficult circumstances. ⭐️

efes_shareholder

Seasidegal58 said:

Just sneaking out of lurkdom @efes_shareholder - I agree about the PBs - I've done exactly the same with the new house cash I'm holding for now. I've only won £75 since May but a couple of people I know have had some good regular wins like you.  Certainly beats current interest rates. 

And please let me add that I have every admiration for you in the way you are keeping things going for your mum and continuing to work at the same time in difficult circumstances. ⭐️

Thank you for taking the time to post , messages like this kind of keep me going when I feel  like I'm a failing at life

The bonds have been fantastic with their return so far , I'm holding out for a big win sometime soon but very happy with how they are performing so far

efes_shareholder

mums on one this morning , unplugging half the kitchen appliances looking for a plug socket that will charge her vape ( its usb and she has a power station on her bed table) , spilling the contents of her water bottle over her bed and knocking over the brooms with her walking frame - she is definately not firing on all her cylinders today so felt a sense of relief when the carer arrived to take over.

£300 has been sent to tesco credit card which now stands at £850 left to pay , it feels so good to have this down under the 1k , when the car payment leaves tomorrow it will be down to a total debt remaining of £1065 , I'm promising myself that this will be gone by payday in January but who knows a few more bonds come up trumps and it could be sooner