Being called frugal is the best compliment

Dorisd

I took a break from MSE but still popped in to read some diaries. Feel like I’ve fallen of the MSE wagon slightly. No debt, but have emptied some savings pots as things were getting a bit tight. Just a few days left until payday and my new and improved pay. 

Easter was fine, but did make me realise some issues with my mum really affect me and I spent most of the time in the kitchen (I bought all food and I did all the cooking). This is because at Xmas she announced she was doing Xmas or Easter anymore as it’s too much for her and she had been doing it forever. Except for the last 10 years I have hosted Xmas and Easter! She has her own version of reality and everyone else is wrong and is now quite intolerant . I am the dutiful daughter, I’m always doing things, getting things from shops, advising her or filling out forms. I am the one she calls complaining about my siblings but she only worships the ground my DD walks on. She shows the type of concern for DD that she has never shown me or my siblings. Is this just her or all grandparents? DD and I both think she has a narcissistic personality. 

Health wise I’m struggling, running is hard and still only doing one day a week as opposed to 2 or 3 days I managed pre Covid. I just feel like I’m piling on the pounds right now and feel horrible. Probably at my heaviest ever, including when I was having DD! Must get moving and sort out my diet. I’m sure that is where I really let myself down.

MSE things, we should have a 3 month EF sorted this month. Then heads down to save for some events later this year, must make a start on it because I’ll blink and the time will have disappeared. Must get back into planning. When I started this new job I was planning everything work, home chores, food and I felt in control and on track. Now I feel like I’m forgetting things or rushing and making mistakes. Time to take a breath and refocus to get back on track. Must start my morning yoga again as it helped focus and calmed me. 10 mins in the morning sets me up for the whole day. I really should start right now, but will finish my coffee first.
Happy Saturday 🙂

beanielou

Be kind to yourself.
You are awesome.

Dorisd

beanielou said:

Be kind to yourself.
You are awesome.

Thank you for the kind words. I managed some yoga today and went out into the sunshine and feel better for it. I read somewhere that lacking energy for doing things you enjoy is not down to tiredness but it is that simply the things you enjoy doing that energise you. I should start doing the things that make me happy and that I enjoy, like reading, needle craft, listening to music when doing housework, sewing and running even if it’s just one thing a day.

Dorisd

Back again although I have not been away from the boards I simply have not posted for a while. 

Where to start life has taken some turns the past few months. The elderly relative is still hanging in there and seems to have made a recovery of sorts, we have attended a family wedding, baby shower and been to see said little one now they have arrived; just 2 more weddings to go, one of which should be a nice weekend away.
Still debt free some small balances on the credit cards but only just to keep it going as hoping to have a deposit saved for house buying in the next 12-15 months.
Spoke to someone at my bank who did a soft search so not what we could potentially get in terms of a mortgage, but was in some shock when they said because of my age (v early 40’s) I need to apply quite soon as lenders may not want to lend to someone my age, something to do with chances of repayment.
Well, on top of my peri menopausal symptoms it was quite upsetting.
Health wise weight has shot up which prompted call to DR about symptoms and one health check later I’m just waiting for results of blood tests. Possible diagnoses are either onset of menopause or issue with my thyroid. I have signed up to the gym and am now going with DD. Mainly for accountability and the fact I am paying means I don’t want to waste money my not going.
I had been feeling better about myself and life in general, menopausal symptoms aside, but over the past few months my relationship with DH has not been good, he has taken to staying out with friends, drinking more and generally not listening. He has always been a kind person, help anyone but lately it seems he will help everyone except me. I under values and taken for granted. I just feel that our relationship is far down the line in terms of importance to him and as we are married I can not just walk away easily. He is wrong because if things do not change and agrees to get help to address our issues that is what I will be doing. Life is too short to be unhappy.
 It is time for us to talk seriously.

beanielou

Life is indeed too short to spend it being unhappy.

Dorisd

A new year, a new me?
As we start this new year I have taken stock of things. 

MONEY
I finished the year well, still debt free with some small balances on the cards,  £3000 in the emergency fund. I also got an another pay rise and a good bonus for Christmas which has been added to holiday savings which is not at £2700. Over £200 in various savings pots.

FAMILY
Elderly relative is still going surprising everyone. DH and I are on better terms and getting there. No major worries on the horizon.
HEALTH
I have a referral to the hospital but as I have now signed up for my work private medical insurance I may see if I can get seen quicker. Have not been to gym as much as I would have liked but managed a short run to end the year right before I got cold/flu for the second time in December. I was not ill for longer than a week each time so I am thankful for that. Can I be frugal and fit?
WORK
It is going well and I have been told I am in line for a promotion this year. We have an extra person in our team which should be easing the workload but they are off doing their own projects and not helping with day to day stuff. I know my manager feels the same as we are the ones doing all the work, but those higher up are oblivious. On a sad note the owner of the business I work for passed away during the Christmas break so our return to the office was subdued. I am determined to take their ideas around sustainability and try to live by them. It also helps with living frugally in the current economic situation. No more cheap temporary fixes.

2023 the year to buy less, choose well and make it last. 

Dorisd

Still popping in to read diaries but have not posted 😞. 

In good news we have a holiday booked for next month, a week in the sun ☀️ is just what we need. Plus we have the savings to pay for it.

Card balances are up a bit but I have a plan to clear them. 

With everything to do with cost of living and prices going up I am so glad we have that space in our budget to cover them.
This weekend looking forward to pottering about at home too cold to go outside. 

Dorisd

A quick update now we are in April…
I have managed my first run for a while and slept better after. I have found some ‘cooling’ sheet and duvet set, I am hoping they will help with the night sweats 🥵.
Short week at work so only 2 days in the office and it is pretty quiet right now as people are on holiday.
Holiday abroad is almost here and cannot wait, just need to get some euros and pack the suitcase but mostly prepared.
We have a family occasion this weekend so have booked the night at a hotel with breakfast. Much more relaxed and peaceful than if we stay with family, it will be full house and the older I get the more I value my peace and not sleeping on an air bed. I am prepared here too as cv have got card and present ready.
DD and I have been getting on really well lately and I’ve really noticed what a great, caring and loving young woman she has become. Now she is older it is more like we are friends and I’m grateful for out relationship. When I think back to when she was little and if I told her off say would say “I’m not your friend anymore” and I would reply “We are not meant to be friends, I’m your mother!” 😆

beanielou

Enjoy your holiday 

Dorisd

It has been such a long time since I have updated my diary.
Here is a summary 
Debt is up but 0% as helped DD with her car insurance. She is paying it monthly and will soon be finished.
Health is rubbish, an ongoing issue has become too much and looks like surgery is needed. It is a major op so worried about that. It will also mean at least 4 weeks off work. On up side I have lost a few pounds in prep for it but back smoking 🤷‍♀️.
Relationships are good with DD she has been my rock and I can see how much she has matured. Marriage in the other hand is in bits. DH and I are temporarily separated with him gone back to his mums. I am devastated, we stopped communicating and showing affection and it all came to a head because it was obvious we are both unhappy. This led to DH saying he did not love me as much and didn’t have the same feelings for me. He says he feels he will hold me back and now we want different things. I want to have some couples counselling but he flat out refused. We have been mostly no contact but have arranged to meet in a weeks times to talk things through. I think he wanted the distance to see if the time apart had helped. After the first week away we talked and he said he has not missed me, this was hard to hear. I have not told anyone apart from DD as I don’t feel close enough to people. This time has been so hard it has had an impact on all aspects of life and led to some major mistakes at work which has now left me questioning everything.
Work is bad right now, two team members are off I have a lot of extra work then if you add in my mistakes it has turned into a nightmare. I am doubting myself and abilities which has left me with anxiety. Today I need to face the music with my boss and explain what has happened. My dream job has turned into a nightmare and I feel lost.
Not quite the update I wanted, I was hoping for I wanted to say I am still debt free, planning holidays and home buying but there we go. 
Must get ready for work now but it felt better to write this down rather than holding it all in and pretending to be strong.