Question about harassment

pogofish

andrewthomas2008 wrote: »

I but will mentioning anything to her brother be deemed as a cause of fear or alarm.

Depending on how he/the family might react, then yes IMO it could be - You already said things upthread that she seems concerned about how they might react.

Also, as her ex, he has absolutely no reason to be involving himself in her life beyond any entirely practical considerations - children, joint finances, disposition of property etc and only then for as long as it takes to resolve matters expediently. Even drawing these things-out for no reason can be considered controlling/coercive acts and contribute to any action.

suejb2

This problem stems honesty. Your girlfriend not being honest with her family. They didn't know about the ex , they don't know about you. Are you honest with her. According to other posts does she know about your daughter or your plans for property on Bangladesh?

BorisThomson

suejb2 wrote: »

This problem stems honesty. Your girlfriend not being honest with her family. They didn't know about the ex , they don't know about you. Are you honest with her. According to other posts does she know about your daughter or your plans for property on Bangladesh?

We all have a right to a private life. No one should have to tell anyone about a relationship if they don't want to.

andrewthomas2008

suejb2 wrote: »

This problem stems honesty. Your girlfriend not being honest with her family. They didn't know about the ex , they don't know about you. Are you honest with her. According to other posts does she know about your daughter or your plans for property on Bangladesh?

This has been discussed

andrewthomas2008

pogofish wrote: »

This is where you really need to have an informal chat with either the police themselves, or an independent like Women's Aid or any more specialist support group - MSE can only really offer opinions, not firm advice in areas like this.

However, the main things to consider are - has she told him clearly that she no longer wants him rooting about in her life and to desist from any behaviour that might cause her physical or emotional harm? If she can answer yes to both, then she probably has good justification to seek further action if he breaks his informal promise.

At least we know the friend will be punished by the law

marliepanda

andrewthomas2008 wrote: »

At least we know he'll be punished by the law if he exposes anything about their relationship or what she does in her private life.

You don’t know that.

andrewthomas2008

marliepanda wrote: »

You don’t know that.

But the likelihood according to the comments above are that they may be arrested and liable for prosecution. She's just concerned

marliepanda

andrewthomas2008 wrote: »

But the likelihood according to the comments above are that he'll be arrested and liable for prosecution if he mentions anything to her brother, as he knows that anything revealed will be met by disapproval from her family.
She was worried that there may be a chance that he can mention things to the brother and not be punished.

Well there is a chance.

Sorry but she is choosing to do these things and by extension of that there’s a possibility that her family finds out. No ones going to court because they told the truth about a fling. He will not be arrested for telling the brother things. That’s an insane thing to happen.

I did things in my past I’d rather my mum not know. I’m sure we all did. If someone told my mum I couldn’t get them arrested. Think about it for five minutes.

suejb2

BorisThomson wrote: »

We all have a right to a private life. No one should have to tell anyone about a relationship if they don't want to.

You're right we all deserve privacy,not being observed or disturbed by others. What I don't likely in relationships is the dishonesty, the subterfuge,the lies.

elsien

andrewthomas2008 wrote: »

But the likelihood according to the comments above are that he'll be arrested and liable for prosecution if he mentions anything to her brother, as he knows that anything revealed will be met by disapproval from her family.
She was worried that there may be a chance that he can mention things to the brother and not be punished.

I think your interpretation is stretching the point. The police don't decide whether to prosecute or not, the CPS do. And context is everything.
My relatives ex (different scenario, but bear with me) claimed the contact was unwanted. Which it was, by her because she thought all the decisions about the kids should be hers. But she was acting very unreasonably so he would never have been prosecuted.

If your girlfriends ex stops contacting her, stops trying to apologise, stops sending gifts but one day in the future mentions their relationship to the brother as a one off then the chances of it going any further are remote. People are allowed to have conversations even if other people don't like the content.