When to charge board for room

Tabbytabitha

Alikay wrote: »

Agreed. And isn't there a happy medium somewhere between invoicing them for every sheet of loo-roll they use and allowing them to loaf around the house all day being lavished with gourmet nibbles and the latest technology?

I can completely understand parents not charging a commercial rate (unless money was very tight) but to expect an adult in their twenties/thirties to make no financial contribution to their own living costs seems very wrong to me.

Alikay

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I'm afraid I think they are - I'd hate to have produced a child who didn't insist on paying their own way as an adult.

Tight-fistedness and selfishness are unappealing traits in people of all ages.

Mojisola

Alikay wrote: »

We've always felt very fortunate to have our children, we love them and have found great joy in parenting them. We showed them how to be responsible and to work for what they need, and they learned well. But we also wanted them to be kind and to be generous, and those behaviours also need to be modelled. There are other lessons in life than just the hard ones.

And you think that people who expect their residential adult children to contribute to the household costs don't do any of those things?

Alikay

That is not what I said. At all. In this post or any of my others.

I am intrigued by your negativity towards parents and children helping each other out, though - have you had a bad experience in this area?

** Meant to quote Mojisola's above post, but quote function didn't work**

cyantist

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

That's so illogical - how can you be encouraging someone to be independent by allowing them to be totally dependent on you?

If my parents had charged me and my husband rent when we lived with them for 15 months, we wouldn't have been able to save that money towards a house deposit which would have meant that rather than it taking 15 months to save the deposit, it might have taken twice as long.

I already knew how to live in the real world, and had managed to budget perfectly well for the 3 years I was at Uni.

It is harder to buy a house now than it ever has been in the past and I'm very grateful to my parents that they did what they could to make it easier for me.

silvercar

There is no guarantee that your children will live with you as adults, so no one can budget for them making a contribution to your bills.

If you do charge them, you are receiving money over and above what you expected, so if what you charge is more than the extra it costs, you are profiting off your children. I don't see why anyone would want to do that.

Loz01

When I was still in education (6th form) I only worked 10 hours a week in a shop so I was hardly making a fortune, my Mum insisted I kept all my money for driving lessons etc. However I think when you've left education/Uni and get a "proper" full time job, that should be when you pay something to live at home. If you're saving for a deposit, I still think you can save a lot and still pay a contribution to live there. If you're earning 1k a month and pay even £200 to live at home you still have masses of disposable income.

Mojisola

Alikay wrote: »

That is not what I said. At all. In this post or any of my others.

I am intrigued by your negativity towards parents and children helping each other out, though - have you had a bad experience in this area?

** Meant to quote Mojisola's above post, but quote function didn't work**

I’m not negative at all - within the family we’ve made a variety of arrangements between parents and adult children depending on the individual circumstances but based on respect from both sides and appreciation of the help that’s been given.

sevenhills

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I'm afraid I think they are - I'd hate to have produced a child who didn't insist on paying their own way as an adult.

I guess that is the case, but only when their wealth surpasses yours?

I hope that will happen, I doubt very much it will happen before she is 25, so no payment for lodgings.

LilElvis

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I'm afraid I think they are - I'd hate to have produced a child who didn't insist on paying their own way as an adult.

And I would hate to be the parent who accepted the money despite knowing it would make a greater difference to my child and their future than it would to me and when I don't need it.