When to charge board for room

HampshireH

My parents weren't tight !!!!!! as you put it. I personally wouldn't ever have expected to live rent free in my 20s.

I didn't say people couldn't learn life lessons another way or that any other way is wrong. I gave my personal experience and opinion in response to OP question. However I do believe that paying an affordable contribution to the people who have put a roof over my head, paid my uni fees to benefit me later in life and continue to support me unconditionally was respectful even if a token gesture considering I was earning an income.

HampshireH

Personally I don't see that handing over a couple of hundred pounds a month to your parents teaches a child anything. Do they know how much the gas bill is? The council tax? A pint of milk?

When uni ends your no longer a child. Your usually 20/21. That's old enough to understand how much bills are and how much a pint of milk costs.

It is also old enough to understand the cost of council tax.

Most teenagers of uni age would have an appreciation of the associated living expenses if they are going to uni. They would of course be having to contribute to these bills there so if they don't know then they will struggle.

svain

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Will she need a car to get to university? If not, she should be prioritising getting a job and contributing to the household before considering spending such a large amount of money on a luxury.

I disagree, unless living in a city where public transport is useable getting a car is a priority these days, for a variety of reasons including independence, job potential and socially.

sillyvixen

I left school at 17 and went into full time work, while living at home I paid board to my parents, in my mid 20's I returned home to do a uni course (I never intended to study locally, but my grandmother had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and studying away would have meant giving up my car for financial reasons and not being able to get home easily) while a student my parents did not charge board. I did help out at home with cooking and chores - my mum always cooked for me and made me eat when I was working on essays and close to deadlines.
Once back in work I paid board untill I moved out. I have been back a few times since, recovering from a number of operations.. my mum would take me home and look after me for a week, and when I was buying my first house as everyone else way leaving our rental property any my purchase was delayed. My parents expected nothing for these times.
With the house delay I was at home for about 10 weeks, and as mum and dad would take no board I did insist on buying fish and chips or a Chinese takeaway weekly.

Spendless

Fireflyaway wrote: »

My child is only 12 but they are welcome to stay as long as they want. It's not going to suddenly cost me loads more because they reach 17 or 18 or whatever. Actually the cost will probably be less as I'm assuming by that age they buy their own clothes , pay for mobile etc. You would be paying for heating and water etc anyway.

Well, they do if they are receiving an income of their own. You can have a 17/18 yo in sixth form and not earning. If you're eligible you can continue to receive Child benefit and tax credits for them.

Areas where an older teen is more expensive than a 12yo.

Clothes come from adult range.
Eating out as a family (possibly, depending on how much 12yo eats!)
Socialising with friends.
Driving lessons.
Family holidays if they are still included and are charged at adult price rather than child price.
Travel costs to sixth form/college - might be further away, or you might live in area that charges more once kids have left yr11.

You do need to weigh it up though against things you no longer have to pay for, such as

Childcare - no longer needed, even if at 12 it's reduced to 'something to keep you occupied' rather than 'someone to watch you'

Activities - such as hobby clubs, not always though.

Tabbytabitha

svain wrote: »

I disagree, unless living in a city where public transport is useable getting a car is a priority these days, for a variety of reasons including independence, job potential and socially.

Not when you're only 17 and just about to start university unless, as I said, you need your own transport to get there. It certainly shouldn't be prioritised over contributing something to the household.

Tabbytabitha

Mojisola wrote: »

They would if the parents went through the household accounts with their resident adult children - as yours must have done for you to know how much it costs to run a household.

It certainly makes young adults realise what a bargain they are getting for their keep money when they see what household bills amount to!

Although my parents didn't do this, I'd think a good idea for an adult working child yo pay their share of the utility bills, just as they woul if sharing with anybody else.

seven-day-weekend

If she has an income (which includes a student loan), she should pay something.

My son was unemployed for a while when he lived with us and he still paid something from his JSA.

Alikay

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Although my parents didn't do this, I'd think a good idea for an adult working child yo pay their share of the utility bills, just as they woul if sharing with anybody else.

Really? That would mean the relationship would be more like tenant and landlord. Wouldn't have worked for me, either as a child or a parent. Living with family means there are restrictions on things like boyfriends/girlfriends staying over, manners, daily routines, personal privacy etc. You have to make allowances for lodgers, but family are different. I tolerated the severe restrictions on privacy and freedom when living with my parents for the benefit of family support and affection plus cheap board and lodgings. Certainly wouldn't stayed much beyond my first pay packet if I'd been going thirds on the bills!

Tabbytabitha

Alikay wrote: »

Really? That would mean the relationship would be more like tenant and landlord. Wouldn't have worked for me, either as a child or a parent. Living with family means there are restrictions on things like boyfriends/girlfriends staying over, manners, daily routines, personal privacy etc. You have to make allowances for lodgers, but family are different. I tolerated the severe restrictions on privacy and freedom when living with my parents for the benefit of family support and affection plus cheap board and lodgings. Certainly wouldn't stayed much beyond my first pay packet if I'd been going thirds on the bills!

I was thinking more of adults sharing a home together rather than landlord and tenant, plus the educational aspect of appreciating how much bills actually cost.

Having said that, in the situation you describe (which would've been the same for me if living with parents) I can see it might be less appropriate. However, IME, most parents of adult children living at home don't put the restictions on them that you and I might've had to live with, the relationship is much more like housesharers with BF/GF stopping over, friends coming round, returning home (or not) left completely up to the child - because they're an adult.

For me it would have to be one thing or the other, either you're an adult with all the freedoms and responsibilities that go with it, or you're the child of the household with all the resrtictions you've described but with the advantages of being subsidised by your parents. One thing or the other, AFAIC, not all the benefits without the reponsibilities/restictions.