When to stop financially supporting adult kids

pipkin71

ska_lover wrote: »

Hi there,


Just for clarification as people are asking, we weren't talking treats as such, more like regular living costs: Rent, food .. for a mid 20 year old

Then, if they needed support and I was in a position to help, I would

maman

This has been an interesting thread. Good to chat, hear others opinions and appreciate different circumstances.




While I understand why OP couldn't give details of a friend's private issues it has lead to lots of speculation. Unfortunately we don't know why the adult child needed essentials paying for.

Sea_Shell

splishsplash wrote: »

If one of my adult children run into difficulties and I want to help them, then I will. I am under no obligation to hand out to the others for the sake of it.

However, do you think it fair that if a parent were to help one child out significantly (financially), as the others are "OK" (at the moment) but they are not really in a position to afford to be so generous, and therefore find that they are then unable to help another child who may need help later on...and have to tell them "sorry there's no money left!"

Just the other side of the coin, as it were.

John-K_3

ska_lover wrote: »

Hi there,


Just for clarification as people are asking, we weren't talking treats as such, more like regular living costs: Rent, food .. for a mid 20 year old

Do they have severe learning difficulties, or life limiting disabilities that mean that they can’t be expected to look after themselves?

If so then I think your support is completely warranted, and the right thing to do.

If they are of sound mind and body then ai’d have to ask why you are doing this.

Those I know who were supported like this have not ended up doing very well. They have never developed a proper career, as they saw no need to put in the hard graft upfront for reward later. Life was too easy with the parents helping out.

John-K_3

maman wrote: »

Sometimes I really feel in the minority here when I post about wanting to help/treat my children. I do appreciate that some posters are desperate for money and rely on Child Benefit for part of the family income but surely not as many as it sometimes seems.

I think that you are maybe getting the wrong end of the stick; I (and I suspect others) are not saying that I need the money myself, I am saying that it risks infantilising adults, and stopping them making the right decisions and getting their adult lives in order.

As I mention above, I’ve seen that in practice with friends whose parents stepped in too much.

Artytarty

Some children go into the arts where it!!!8217;s very hard to make a career.
You need support to able to stick at it until such times as you can manage to get by or decide to retrain. It!!!8217;s never a question of just getting a qualifiacation and then the job as an artist!
So yes, I would support under these circumstances to mid twenties and beyond.