How do you split up the finances when one is earning more money ?

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  • pjcox2005
    pjcox2005 Posts: 1,014
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    I don't agree in having a 'same pot' bank account which everything goes in and out of. The reason for this is what you say, if you want to treat yourself to something you shouldn't have the justify it! Myself and my partner also like to spend our money on different things. I like to save for nights away with friends, he likes to buy expensive clothing. As we are using our 'own' money there is no risk of resentment over what the funds are spent on. I also want to buy my partner gifts with my own money, not his!

    We a joint account that all our bills come out of and we make provisions for joint savings from (for things such as holidays, the childrens Christmas gifts etc). Each month we both put a set amount in, which we agreed together. Initially we earnt around the same so we put the same in, however I then changed jobs to start a new career and I am now earning less so we reduced my contribution in line with this. I am working on increasing my pay so that my contribution can increase back to being level.

    Given your current set it is already to have everything paid into the same account then Sea Shell's suggestion of paying yourselves an allowance from the pot each month would be the simplest. It is up to you as a couple what amount you decide is fair (both have the same, or you get a little bit more due to higher earning, but that would have to be on the basis that if your partner pay increased so would his amount or if yours decreased so would your amount).



    We go joint account, but agree no right answer and depends on individuals involved. One reason for example would be to protect if one is really bad with finances or potential addiction.


    I'm just curious on this post of having separate as you want to treat yourself no guilt or buy a present out of your money. Surely if your contribution goes down due to income changing so your partner picks up the balance then they're effectively subsidising that spending so it's joint money anyway.
  • Mnd
    Mnd Posts: 1,699
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    We lump all the money together and live from there.my wife does have some money of her own to buy the bits she needsn I dont, mainly cos I dont buy anything. But if I need growbags or a pint, I just buy it.neither of us needs to justify what we spend. we both trust each other
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  • El8482
    El8482 Posts: 9 Forumite
    Hi. All the money in the pot is how my parents taught me and we do this in our family. Even if I dont work now and babysitting our baby I dont have to ask hubby to treat myself or if I need guy smth pricey, so just tell him and he never say no. So, I say it depends on your mind.
  • JGB1955
    JGB1955 Posts: 3,445
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    Married for more than 40 years and have always had separate sole accounts (for salary / child allowance / savings interest etc etc,) plus a joint account for household expenses. The ratios paid into the joint account have changed over the years and currently my husband pays £600 p.m. in and I pay for all the food There is NO way I would want to pool all our money into one account.. .I make my own financial decisions and spend MY money on what I want.
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  • Elise1912
    Elise1912 Posts: 54 Forumite
    I would say both contribute a proportion of your income after tax. eg. both put in 60% of your income each month. If your partner earns more, he contributes more. Then you both have some money left over in your own accounts to spend as you wish once mortgage, bills, food etc taken care of.
  • I don't know what kind of plannings are made by married couples. But as an elder sister of school and university going brother and sister, I pay fees on behalf of my mother whenever she has short of budget. We don't divide the expenses and bills equally or with the help of any specific plan but we lower our luxuries whenever we feel it is out of budget. Savings are also a part of my money budgeting doesn't matter either we are fulfilling our wants, but yes after needs, you prefer to savings. On the other hand, sometimes, it hurts that why you are not doing 50/50 or according to your personal expenses but for me, family comes first, and we should do this kind of scarifies to get a certificate of living as a "human". So, don't lose heart, you will get more if you are paying more.

    To cope with such things I only believe in Karma.
  • Samac
    Samac Posts: 4
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    We have our own sep bank accounts that our wages go in, we also have a separate current account that all the bills come out of I put in so much for the bills etc and he pays the mortgage, if there is a big outlay I ask him to put in X amount to cover it as he earns more than me, he likes expensive clothes and always pays for them out his bank account and if I want anything I buy it out of mine but its all our money, we joke when we eat out who is paying but it makes no difference, all the money we have is ours anyway and goes mainly towards the home, kids etc but we can afford to buy our own treats and gifts for each other rather than it come out of the 'house' money, never gets questioned by either, maybe have sep wages accounts as well as a joint house one
  • anto164
    anto164 Posts: 174
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    We have our own accounts, but we say, have £200 a month for your own spends, then everythingelse goes in the joint acct.
  • PrettyKittyKat
    PrettyKittyKat Posts: 1,270 Forumite
    pjcox2005 wrote: »
    We go joint account, but agree no right answer and depends on individuals involved. One reason for example would be to protect if one is really bad with finances or potential addiction.


    I'm just curious on this post of having separate as you want to treat yourself no guilt or buy a present out of your money. Surely if your contribution goes down due to income changing so your partner picks up the balance then they're effectively subsidising that spending so it's joint money anyway.

    No, in that instance my partners contribution stayed the same, we just adjusted our household budget accordingly (we were saving a very high amount each month for a wedding which was then paid!). My contribution also didn't reduced by the amount my income reduced (IE my income reduced by £550 per month and my contribution reduced by £400) so my 'spare' money is still lower than my partners but I personally feel that is appropriate as I earn less. Likewise if I choose to have a cheaper car so I have more 'free' money to spend on other things I should benefit from that not my partner as it's my sacrifice (although personally cars don't bother me so I don't feel like it's a sacrifice haha). It's more so for me about having control over your own money. Some months I will barely spend a penny because I know the next month I have alot of social plans I don't want to miss out on, and with my own account there is no risk of anyone else spending it! I'd be pretty peeved if we had a joint account and I was lowering my spending to afford something the next month and then my husband spent it. Of course that can be avoided by continually talking about money and what's in the bank account - but for us that isn't a fun dinnertime chat!

    It would be easier if 'one size fits all' but I suppose it really is about understanding how you work as a couple and what fits best for you.
  • I have the same concern with my partner. Before he was earning more than I do, but now, I am almost the sole provider of the family. We don't have a joint account, but I kept all the records of our expenses and I always divide them 50/50. He doesn't know about that. I don't know how I can bring it up to him that he 'owe' me a lot.
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