How to manage imbalance in husband/wife pension?

Debra0001

I own 82% of our house (2nd marriage) and about to early retire through ill health. My husband has always been bad with money an runs up debts through lavish spending. Although better now I keep an eye on his credit.

The question is I'm going to have a very tiny pension and he will have a very generous one and massive lump sum - so rather than paying everything 50/50 as we've done for 15 years h what ideas are there that could be fair to us both? He isn't interested in buying in to house so I can release funds. He has an expectation of a great retirement rather than helping support me.

I don't want to sell house and downsize as costly to move but could rent a room and keep that but still will be very poor.

All suggestions welcome?

Mojisola

Debra0001 wrote: »

I own 82% of our house (2nd marriage) and about to early retire through ill health. My husband has always been bad with money an runs up debts through lavish spending. Although better now I keep an eye on his credit.

The question is I'm going to have a very tiny pension and he will have a very generous one and massive lump sum - so rather than paying everything 50/50 as we've done for 15 years h what ideas are there that could be fair to us both? He isn't interested in buying in to house so I can release funds. He has an expectation of a great retirement rather than helping support me.

Divorce him now and share out the marital assets?

Debra0001

Not quite the solution I was hoping for but made me laugh thanks

happyandcontented

Yes, a likely scenario would be that you would be giving up 32% of the house for 50% of his pension....so if the figures work in your favour point that out to him.

You have been married 15 years and it is still what is mine is mine? I really do not get that mindset.

Mojisola

Debra0001 wrote: »

Not quite the solution I was hoping for but made me laugh thanks

That was the intention!

Alter_ego

Debra0001 wrote: »

Not quite the solution I was hoping for but made me laugh thanks

Sounds like a serious suggestion in your circumstances.

Mojisola

Debra0001 wrote: »

The question is I'm going to have a very tiny pension and he will have a very generous one and massive lump sum - so rather than paying everything 50/50 as we've done for 15 years what ideas are there that could be fair to us both?

You've really left it 15 years too long.

Has he really been happy to live the high life while his wife has struggled with money? If so, why have you stayed with him?

Flugelhorn

charge him rent for the 32% of the house?

sorry that probably sounds a bit flippant - appreciate people trying to protect their own finances but I always felt marriage meant all the money going into one pot. DH kept the family going when the kids were young and I have in more recent years, there have been lumps sums here and there but they are just added to the pot.

Red-Squirrel_2

You've been married for 15 years and he doesn't want to support you?

Remember those things in the wedding ceremony about 'in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer' etc? Well, you know, this is the time to show if he really meant that or not.

oystercatcher

I am in a similar situation . However, we are married so everything is joint despite separate accounts, all that comes in or goes out is 'ours' so the fact that my income is now a lot less doesn't affect me any more than it does him. We discuss expenditure.

If you can't sit down together and discuss money and share things then I fear your marriage is in a very rocky place.

Why would he want to buy in to the house he already lives in ? What on earth are you intending to do with that money ? It all sounds very strange.

PeacefulWaters

I'd suggest posting in the pensions section.

Paying £2,880 a year into a stakeholder pension in your name until your age 75 should open up opportunities to gain £720 tax relief, withdraw 25% tax free and better utilise the £11,850 tax free income threshold each year.

Reducing his income by giving money to your pension provision and income which may be below tax thresholds is a logical way to manage joint finances.