Old style as an escape from the world?

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

Good luck Sea Shell

I knitted 3 scarves for the Mission BUT my DSis appropriated one as a Christmas present for a family friend in France :rotfl: Delivery of food etc to Mission was made on Monday, lunch out with friends on Tuesday, re jigging the stack of crates/boxes in the dining room so that like is with like + emptied one crate & created extra floor space :j Thursday was spent baking & cooking in anticipation of my DH returning from France after escorting my DSis :T DSis is staying in France for 2/3 weeks :T so my Simpler Life is here for a while :rotfl:

Hope everyone has a good weekend

MrsSD

MrsPoyser

Sea_Shell wrote: »

I'm going to visit my relatives over the weekend....I'll either bite my tongue as usual, or end up in a row. No doubt I'll mostly end up sitting through all their "woe is me" , and "it's OK for you" rhetoric. DH has made his excuses already!! But he will be waiting for me with a large glass of wine when I get home !!!

Wish me luck!!!

Good luck - hope it isn't as bad as you anticipate!

I used to be exactly the same and get really upset and depressed or guilty about it all, but then I worked in a job where we would have a lot of complainers (often quite angry), and we had some training which really helped.
We were told just to let the person carry on talking, without us responding or interrupting, and then without anything to feed their anger or whatever, they eventually run out of steam. When they finish, you can then say sympathetic, but non committal things like 'I understand how you feel' or 'I can see you are upset about this'. This doesn't feed their anger or upset, and they just feel that you are sympathetic, but you haven't actually said that you agree or disagree with them.
I have a close relative who is a bit of a moaner - I used to get really wound up, particularly when every bit of advice or suggestion as to how she could make things better was rejected, and often with 'It's all right for you'. Now, I just sit quietly until she has run out of steam, and then after a pause and non-committal comment, just ask how someone else is, or has she seen so and so, etc.
I imagine myself as the Dalai Lama, smiling sympathetically and feeling compassion for them in their petty worries, and letting the grief just flow on by! And then just don't stay too long!

Sea_Shell

Phew...It wasn't as bad is I'd feared. The main protagonist didn't make an appearance, and we managed to keep the conversation away from all things financial...just!!

Sea_Shell

MrsPoyser wrote: »

When they finish, you can then say sympathetic, but non committal things like 'I understand how you feel' or 'I can see you are upset about this'. This doesn't feed their anger or upset, and they just feel that you are sympathetic, but you haven't actually said that you agree or disagree with them.

I imagine myself as the Dalai Lama, smiling sympathetically and feeling compassion for them in their petty worries, and letting the grief just flow on by! And then just don't stay too long!

The thing is, it's not really them moaning to me...it's more them banging on about stuff that does upset and wind me up, but I say nothing, as to do so would upset them. They really live in their own bubble and seem to give no thought as to how things might look from over here!! Anyway, I got off lightly this time!

SmlSave

Hello, hello. it's me again! I'm just popping in to say hi and that I'm still here, still chipping away.

I've been brave and went to the tip for the first time by myself last week in an attempt to empty the shed which has, over the last year, been used as a general dumping ground. I'll be on my third visit tomorrow and once the mattresses have gone (nobody wanted them) I may even be able to actually step into the shed. I'm sure there's woodchip at the back.

No jam making has happened yet MrsSD, indeed I've added to the freezer after a generous orange supply from a friend!

I'm glad to hear that your visit wasn't too stressful Sea Shell. I often have to just leave the room at work or round my Nan's as they do insist on discussing the most upsetting things. I think they just need to share, sometimes so that they can move past what they've watched/seen/heard with no thought that they in fact are passing misery on.

I am sat in a very clean house at the moment. With a full fridge and freezer, fresh baking in the tin - no better place to be.

rc12345

Love this thread. Thanks to all who’ve contributed

How do you stop feeling guilty for saying ‘no’ to things though?

Family member has asked me to do something this weekend and I already have plans for the weekend, so said no. They seem quite upset and I’m now thinking how I can try and do it as well as the other things I’m already doing this weekend even though it isn’t something I want to do anyway!!!

I just feel guilty

Nonnadiluca

If you're female, I'm afraid it goes with the plumbing!!!!

Siebrie

It is not your problem (and make sure to keep it that way!); they asked and you informed them that you cannot help. Now they have to get resourceful or work with you to find a datethat suits you.

White_musk

So sad this thread has gone so quiet. It is such an uplifting and cheery place to come. I'd love to see it resurrected and posters old and new join in.

White_musk

Morning all.

It's freezing here today, also pitch black. I long for the longer and warmer days. I love cozy evenings but hate dark miserable cold mornings.

Easy day today as I can't do very much until all the trades people have gone and then life will return to normal again. I can't wait.

Have a great day all.