Can I use family members card for them?

gloriouslyhappy

Really, that is skating on thin ice. I understand the practicalities of using the card, but it would be so much better to get the Power of Attorney which can be activated now. It sounds as if the relative's situation will not improve and in fact deteriorate as they get older, leading to more responsibility on the part of the original poster, Butch1985.

A neighbour of mine has been looking after another neighbour since their mother died about ten years ago, there are no other family members to look after them. This person, in their fifties, does not leave the house and is severely mentally challenged and unable to function outside their home, but still able to cook etc sufficiently for basic everyday needs. However their house recently suffered storm damage leading to plumbing leaks and unhealthy damp throughout, and when my neighbour attempted to get it sorted by booking plumbers etc, the vulnerable person started accusing him of wanting to take his money and got really upset.

Now without my neighbour looking after them, doing their shopping, organising household matters down to taking out the bins for collection, buying their clothes etc, the vulnerable person would have been taken to an institution many years ago. Social Services are aware of the assistance my neighbour provides as they have his details as the emergency contact, but otherwise my neighbour has no official status for the help he provides. We, his friends, are concerned about situations arising which might get him into trouble and have urged him to seek professional advice, but he says it's not necessary. We hope his optimism is not misplaced.

My advice would always be to do things officially, and get the relevant permissions and documents as soon as possible.

Pollycat

gloriouslyhappy wrote: »

Really, that is skating on thin ice. I understand the practicalities of using the card, but it would be so much better to get the Power of Attorney which can be activated now. It sounds as if the relative's situation will not improve and in fact deteriorate as they get older, leading to more responsibility on the part of the original poster, Butch1985.

A neighbour of mine has been looking after another neighbour since their mother died about ten years ago, there are no other family members to look after them. This person, in their fifties, does not leave the house and is severely mentally challenged and unable to function outside their home, but still able to cook etc sufficiently for basic everyday needs. However their house recently suffered storm damage leading to plumbing leaks and unhealthy damp throughout, and when my neighbour attempted to get it sorted by booking plumbers etc, the vulnerable person started accusing him of wanting to take his money and got really upset.

Now without my neighbour looking after them, doing their shopping, organising household matters down to taking out the bins for collection, buying their clothes etc, the vulnerable person would have been taken to an institution many years ago. Social Services are aware of the assistance my neighbour provides as they have his details as the emergency contact, but otherwise my neighbour has no official status for the help he provides. We, his friends, are concerned about situations arising which might get him into trouble and have urged him to seek professional advice, but he says it's not necessary. We hope his optimism is not misplaced.

My advice would always be to do things officially, and get the relevant permissions and documents as soon as possible.

I too would be very concerned for a friend in that situation.

I would say it's very necessary for him to seek professional advice - especially if the person he's looking after has recently accused him of stealing money.

Now that really is skating on thin ice.

Malthusian

Now without my neighbour looking after them, doing their shopping, organising household matters down to taking out the bins for collection, buying their clothes etc, the vulnerable person would have been taken to an institution many years ago.

And living on his own in a leaky, damp house and stressing about his neighbours trying to steal his money is better than being in an institution?

Your neighbour is clearly a very compassionate person but he risks illustrating the maxim that no good deed goes unpunished. This will probably get worse before it gets better.

gloriouslyhappy

Malthusian wrote: »

And living on his own in a leaky, damp house and stressing about his neighbours trying to steal his money is better than being in an institution?

Your neighbour is clearly a very compassionate person but he risks illustrating the maxim that no good deed goes unpunished. This will probably get worse before it gets better.

You're absolutely right, that's why we've been urging our friend to let the local authorities take over. But having visited his aunt in a home for many years, he understands why 'X' wants to stay in his, and arranged for other neighbours to join with him and do the repair work - one is a plumber - so the plumbing problem is now fixed, and those big industrial heaters are sorting out the damp.

Social Services came in and gave 'X' an ultimatum, so he calmed down and accepted the help, and Social Services provided a grant for the works which paid the plumbing bill. I suppose it's much cheaper for SS to keep him in his own home, but my neighbour still remains in a difficult position.

The value of proper documentation cannot be over-stressed! However, he is now seeking advice from CAB which is a good step, and has never / would never use 'X's bank cards but gets reimbursed for groceries etc via cheques which exactly match the receipts. They're all kept in a book ready for any interested party to examine. All this for being a good neighbour, no wonder so many people don't bother!