Can my daughter throw me out of my home?

christmas_carole

FBaby wrote: »

Something doesn't ring right here. You've lived there for 2 years so must have sold not long before that. So how can you then say you've split up with him 8 years ago and have know your current partner for many years? Or is there another partner in the middle?

As we don't know anything about your partner's crime, it's hard to comment as to whether your daughter as good reasons or not to be concerned about him moving in. However, there are many stories about boyfriends who move in, pay nothing, but when things go sour, refuse to leave saying that they have a right to be there, even when their name is not on the tenancy. Getting them out through court can be a complete nightmare. Maybe your daughter has concerns that this could happen.




I was with my previous partner for eight years, we broke up Easter 2015, I stayed in the house while it was on the market and moved out once it sold in December 2015, I met new/current partner February 2016, 10 months after my split.

Pixie5740

I'm glad you have sought legal advice and I hope things work out for you. It would be nice if you came back to let us know the outcome once it's all sorted out.

BorisThomson

christmas_carole wrote: »

How are the time lines hazy?
I've been very precise, house sold December 2015, moved into rented house having transferred £45000 into my daughters bank account December 2015.


Spent the next six months putting in new kitchen, bathroom, rear drive and double gates for secure off road car parking,
(I asked if they would contribute to this but they refused)
I turned the jungle of a garden into a beautiful paved courtyard, back front and side. I had a dog then so it had to be dog friendly and safe.The whole house was redecorated, fitted robes put in two bedrooms and carpeted, not a cheap fix but an investment in my 'Forever' home.


Not 'Tarted up' as someone on here said.

Why did you continue to renovate a property that was not yours and that the landlord refused to contribute to? That makes no sense.

It does come across that you have treated the property as your own, with no understanding of your legal position (that being, it's not yours).

christmas_carole

need_an_answer wrote: »

If you had to choose between maintaining a relationship with your daughter or with the ex who is now part of your life again,which would it be?

Difficult moral question I appreciate but one that I believe is the whole pin to this thread.

We know you daughters feelings towards your partner,but what does he think of her?

He's not my ex, we are very much together.
I'm not in a close relationship with my daughter, I can't remember the last time she visited me or called me to ask how I am, an odd text maybe.... I get asked for tea every month maybe, never see her on a weekend.


He fills my life with love and laughter every day, he is my future and it's horrible to be made to choose, I want and need them both in my life, I hope we can mend this.


He had a lot of respect for my daughter untill this last month when he has witnessed what she has put me through and how upset I am. He concedes it is all because of him and wants to put things behind us and move on. We have asked if they would meet us only for an hour to talk but that has been refused.


So even if I end it with him I feel our relationship has been damaged beyond repair. I can't imagine my life without him, he's my other half.

Cakeguts

Can you move out of the house you are living in and move into a rented home with your partner?

christmas_carole

BorisThomson wrote: »

Why did you continue to renovate a property that was not yours and that the landlord refused to contribute to? That makes no sense.

It does come across that you have treated the property as your own, with no understanding of your legal position (that being, it's not yours).

Beacuse it was a dirty, disgusting hovel, I was to live there for the rest of my life!!!!

christmas_carole

Yes, and we will when the tenancy agreement is up and I get some money back to start again.

christmas_carole

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I'm glad you have sought legal advice and I hope things work out for you. It would be nice if you came back to let us know the outcome once it's all sorted out.

Yes, I will let you know, it may take a while to get this all sorted out though, I'm not looking forward to it.

parkrunner

parkrunner wrote: »

You seem to have missed all that happened prior to the mother and her ex getting back together. The false promises that had already been broken before the reunion.

need_an_answer wrote: »

I clearly have missed the back story,it's not in this thread and is only given from the mothers point of view.

The back story is in the original post, ie free and for life. Both those promises broken prior to the ex coming back into the frame. As for only the mother's point of view well that's how these threads work.

need_an_answer

christmas_carole wrote: »

He's not my ex, we are very much together.



He fills my life with love and laughter every day, he is my future and it's horrible to be made to choose, I want and need them both in my life, I hope we can mend this.


He concedes it is all because of him and wants to put things behind us and move on.

Thank you for answering my question openly,I probably hadn't meant you to do that but it does show your side of the conflict.

Although your opening post did refer to your partner as an ex and although as you say you are very much together he clearly was an ex for a time,and as I've said before "an ex is an ex for a reason",maybe your daughter hasn't forgotten why whereas for the moment you are prepared to forget the past.

You do raise a really interesting phrase in the statement about him wanting to move on and put things behind you both.
When I touched on the subject of you moving on together more jointly without the rented accommodation from your daughter you were quite defensive of my comment saying "why should you etc etc" however a clean break is perhaps the best solution forward and I wonder why you are very against this preferring to want to stay in a rental property owned managed and quite frankly controlled by a daughter you yourself say is distant.
Although having said that,the fact that she does invite you to her house and not your partner again reinforces the thought that she hasn't got a problem pre se with you but with him.Could it be that you have a problem with her because she wont accept you as a couple.
Maybe if you go alone to speak with her you may be able to talk

You want both your daughter and your partner in your life,your daughter just wants you and not him.
The question has to be why does she feel like this?
You know that answer and I don't expect you to share it on an open forum but you do need to consider her feelings and possible concerns about someone who has been your ex but has now returned.

Clearly you hope he remains in your world and continues to make you happy,but things can turn sour and the bottom line might be that your daughter is not caught up in the "romance" that you may be experiencing.

I don't believe you'll mend anything with the use of a solicitor.
The only way you will get your daughter back onside possibly is for you and your partner to prove to her that actually you can make a go of it by jointly sharing responsibilities of finances etc in a new home together away from this rental that she clearly had earmarked for your inhabitation and only you.

Does your partner have means by which to jointly support you,you seem to be constantly referring to you needing to save money and I wonder why you have not got joint commitment financially. you talk about needing to get some money back in order to start again,but as I see it two people starting again bear the burden together not solely.

Someone mentioned yesterday about the thread being part housing/part relationships,it would be interesting to move it to the families board and see if others come up with different solutions on the emotional way forward for you all