No internet for a week. UPDATED #53

Savvy_Sue

svain wrote: »

This feels strange advice to me. Separate bedrooms should be an absolute last resort. Your relationship may feel less strong to you but imo it must lack something with this arrangement.

Is there a medical or work reason you live separate lives after 10pm?

Personally I think we should do a Mills & Boon and just close the bedroom door(s) and leave our fellow posters to it.

It feels strange to you. It feels strange to me. But to those who live this way, it is the most natural thing in the world, and I've known some very happy relationships which worked this way.

74jax

So it is Sunday. Mid-way point. Thank you to all of you for your suggestions. Here is how we have done.....so far.
idea : whenever we are in the house we do things together. No internet, no phones and we go to bed together at same time. Usually we get in, make dinner together, eat together, then hubby will play on computer, I potter/go out etc. Then I will go to bed and put a film on whilst I read a book and hubby will come to bed an hour or so later.
Wednesday
Usual home, cook dinner, eat. Then we had a quiz to do which someone at work gave us. We spent ages on this whilst discussing the news. Kept going back to the quiz, was actually really fun. Hubby was tired so we both went to bed even though I could have stayed up a bit longer. FAILED as DD called and I picked up even though we have a no mobile rule.
Thursday
I got in later, about half 7. So we made dinner, ate etc. Chatted about the day, then at 9 just wanted to chill so we watched a film then went to bed. FAILED as the film we watched was on Sky and we have a no internet rule this week.
Friday
In from work, dinner, ate, talked. Hubby wanted to watch football which we could as it was on 'normal' TV. FAILED as I read a little whilst he watched TV and the plan was we do things 'together'. I then picked DD up from train station and as I couldn't check arrivals in the house only realised when there if was 40mins delayed....however hubby did stay up until I was in so we still went to bed together.
Saturday
Both out doing our own thing (hubby at work/me with friends) then at night we went to the theatre. FAILED as we booked the theatre tickets online.
Sunday - today
He is out today, I'm holiday shopping. Tonight when both in, I get to plan what we do - tomorrow night he is planning, and then Tuesday night we are clearing spare room out. Determined that last 3 nights will be internet/phone free.

Tabbytabitha

Do you get SKY through the internet rather than a dish? Personally, I think that reading whilst watching TV still counts as doing something together.

There seems to me to be a big difference between using the internet as a tool to do practical things like book tickets as opposed to spending hours on social media or gaming.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Ames

74jax wrote: »

So it is Sunday. Mid-way point. Thank you to all of you for your suggestions. Here is how we have done.....so far.
idea : whenever we are in the house we do things together. No internet, no phones and we go to bed together at same time. Usually we get in, make dinner together, eat together, then hubby will play on computer, I potter/go out etc. Then I will go to bed and put a film on whilst I read a book and hubby will come to bed an hour or so later.
Wednesday
Usual home, cook dinner, eat. Then we had a quiz to do which someone at work gave us. We spent ages on this whilst discussing the news. Kept going back to the quiz, was actually really fun. Hubby was tired so we both went to bed even though I could have stayed up a bit longer. FAILED as DD called and I picked up even though we have a no mobile rule.
Thursday
I got in later, about half 7. So we made dinner, ate etc. Chatted about the day, then at 9 just wanted to chill so we watched a film then went to bed. FAILED as the film we watched was on Sky and we have a no internet rule this week.
Friday
In from work, dinner, ate, talked. Hubby wanted to watch football which we could as it was on 'normal' TV. FAILED as I read a little whilst he watched TV and the plan was we do things 'together'. I then picked DD up from train station and as I couldn't check arrivals in the house only realised when there if was 40mins delayed....however hubby did stay up until I was in so we still went to bed together.
Saturday
Both out doing our own thing (hubby at work/me with friends) then at night we went to the theatre. FAILED as we booked the theatre tickets online.
Sunday - today
He is out today, I'm holiday shopping. Tonight when both in, I get to plan what we do - tomorrow night he is planning, and then Tuesday night we are clearing spare room out. Determined that last 3 nights will be internet/phone free.

I think the 'failures' are more to do with you not properly working out the rules before you started.

Were you supposed to just ignore your daughter for a week? What if she had some kind of emergency?

You were still together in the same room when he was watching football and you were reading, unless he was forbidden from speaking to you (or vice versa) then surely that's still being together?

Booking tickets online is just common sense. As would checking the train status have been. The point of the exercise was to spend more time together wasn't it? Not to punish yourselves by returning to a pre-internet life, which isn't possible because the rest of the world carries on depending on it.

xbrenx

74jax wrote: »

Hubby and I are, from tomorrow, having a week without the internet. Although there will be some exceptions (we will still have sky/Amazon prime).

In your opening post you mentioned exceptions, so I agree, you're being too hard on yourselves.

74jax

Ames wrote: »

I think the 'failures' are more to do with you not properly working out the rules before you started.

Were you supposed to just ignore your daughter for a week? What if she had some kind of emergency?

You were still together in the same room when he was watching football and you were reading, unless he was forbidden from speaking to you (or vice versa) then surely that's still being together?

Booking tickets online is just common sense. As would checking the train status have been. The point of the exercise was to spend more time together wasn't it? Not to punish yourselves by returning to a pre-internet life, which isn't possible because the rest of the world carries on depending on it.

I had only spoken to DD on the drive home from work, she knows what were doing but just forgot and called. I would still pick up to her regardless. But it honestly was a nothing type of call.

Buying tickets etc, we were going to go and get them, but just went for the ease of the internet !!!128522;. And checking train I was never going to do, just typical of was late, but big tick to him for waiting up for me

The idea was we challenges ourselves to spending time together every night without internet or phones. We knew it would be hard, hence my post in the first place and so many people said how easy it would be, but we have found it hard (bad I know....) so everyone is different.

The thing with the football is we do not see it as 'doing' something together. We are in the same room doing different things, which we normally are but it might involve a computer rather than a TV.

The week is just a bit of fun for us and I am determined to have a good go at the remaining 3 nights.

I think we are both too competitive, so we either do it right or not, hence we see it as fails so far.

But we are still in it for 3 more nights......

74jax

xbrenx wrote: »

In your opening post you mentioned exceptions, so I agree, you're being too hard on yourselves.

On the first night, we decided the sky channels were out of bounds, but I just was not on here to update and then forgot. We were going to get the DVD player from the loft and go through old DVD....... but went for the easy option.

It has definitely made us realise how lazy it does make us.

Tabbytabitha

Is there a reason why you're doing all this run of the mill stuff in the house rather than going out enjoying yourselves together?

74jax

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Is there a reason why you're doing all this run of the mill stuff in the house rather than going out enjoying yourselves together?

Not really. We prefer to 'do' things together so for example the cinema would be somewhere we would go, but maybe more in winter or if there was a particular thing to see.

We tend to have a weekend away a month which could be anything - we just stayed in a train station in York a few weeks back. As is getting warmer we will be out in the camper van.

But obviously these things tend to use these internet. I reached for my phone yesterday when we were both in the lounge, as I was going to see if we could get a session on the florider but had to stop myself.

We have not done an escape room for a while, which we loved but you need to book so, again, not something for this week. And we have not eaten out purely as we did not fancy going somewhere we have been and will just wait till next weekend when we can look online. We did before the show last night, but just F&B as we knew we would get a seat....

We honestly have found it hard but it has been so interesting too looking at our habits.

People on here have been fab though with ideas to keep us going. I am however pleased I love in the age I do. We are looking at badminton later and if we turn up and have to wait then that's just the luck of the draw, but usually you book the court first and - rightly or wrongly - I love my phone, internet and how I am. But it has been really good too, both hubby and I laughed last night when we paid for dinner as I would usually be downloading voucher for a free pud!

clairec79

Surely your biggest fail is the fact you are posting here on an internet forum about how you have failed not to go online (yet thats the only one not listed as a fail day)