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Friend splitting costs with partner



  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,796 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Savvy Shopper!
    Can't see what he's complaining about, really. He's getting his money's worth.
    Is he actually complaining though?
    The OP says:
    Pdbaggett wrote: »
    He did however, agree at the time to take £200 a month from her to cover other bills and he still does. Not the problem being I spoke to him the other day and he's struggling with money as most new home owners do due to outlay and maintenance costs his house also needs a new roof ect. His partner isn't helping at all with the cost of the house I.e roof ect and in my opinion isn't even covering her own living with £200 a month. He buys all the food and everything she pays £200 to him and that's it.
    He may have simply mentioned it in passing.
    If he is complaining, it's obvious that he needs to talk to his partner.
    It's hardly rocket science.
    steph2901 wrote: »
    Sounds like he needs to have a chat with her, paying £200 all in isn't very fair to him! But if that's all he asked for, then she's not going to pay more is she? I'd love to be able to live for £200 a month and have the other £1000 to myself, but sadly that's not going to happen.
    The OP says he's hard-headed so it's unlikely he'll have a chat to his partner.
    The OP isn't even going to do anything with people's opinions.
    He/she seems to just want to know if anyone else is in agreement with him/her.
    Pdbaggett wrote: »
    Hi, before I start I'll say this really has nothing to do with me and I'm not actually going to do anything with peoples opinions or talk about it with my friend as he's pretty hard headed at the best of times.
  • enthusiasticsaver
    enthusiasticsaver Posts: 15,732 Ambassador
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    £200 per month sounds fair to cover bills (council tax and utilities)but I don't think he should be paying for all the food. If she is not paying towards the mortgage she is getting free accommodation so asking her to cover her share of the food costs sounds reasonable. He should work it all out properly and split the costs of utilities and council tax, insurance and food 50/50.
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  • pearl123
    pearl123 Posts: 2,056 Forumite
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    There is a plus if the relationship ends she will not be financially linked to him.
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 6,977 Forumite
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    She pays two hundred quid, he gets a lodger with an element of payment in kind.
    Women don't have sex because they enjoy it then? It's "payment"?

    Once a week on a Sunday morning and she cooks a couple of meals during the week - that about covers the difference in money he'd otherwise be spending in a restaurant and on a Lady of Dubious Taxation Status.
    If you think that sex workers are allowed to get away with anything by HMRC you are very badly informed. Further, it is an odd notion that his choice is either girlfriend cooking occasionally and sex with her once a wek, or eating out and paying a prostitute. For someone single, like me, the way it works is I cook every day and manage without rather than pay - going to suggest that for the vast majority of single people, men and women, that is the case as well..
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • System
    System Posts: 178,107 Community Admin
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    Yep - he can't have his cake and eat it I'm afraid.

    I think £200 per month for bills etc. and then split the shopping at the till between them. She's got £1000 every month...! She'll be loving life right now....he can't have a slice of that until he agrees to let her in on the mortgage.
  • clairec79
    clairec79 Posts: 2,512 Forumite
    I'd say it was fair enough BUT food shouldn't be included in the bills, so I'd take it in turns to pay for the shopping
  • onomatopoeia99
    Yep - he can't have his cake and eat it I'm afraid.
    He can, as long as it is understood that there is no intent to create a beneficial interest / implied trust, he can charge what rent he likes. Whether she pays it is another question.

    A lodger may well be paying to the mortgage, because the rent greatly exceeds a share of the bills, but no-one ever suggests lodgers gain an interest in the property. Being in a relationship with the person to whom you are paying rent doesn't necessarily change this (England and Wales, those in the frozen northern lands have their own laws on this).
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • AnotherJoe
    AnotherJoe Posts: 19,622 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Photogenic
    In what way is this person a "partner" ?
    It sounds more like a business relationship.
  • paddy's_mum
    paddy's_mum Posts: 3,977 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Hazyjo kind of beat me to it in post 31.

    I was wondering if her £200 was her cash input but that things got more evened out along the way if she took charge of said shopping, cooking, cleaning etc, all of which have an implied 'value'.

    The lady in question may have had no savings at the time the house was first bought but I bet she's got some now! ;)
  • onlyroz
    onlyroz Posts: 17,661 Forumite
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    If he doesn't want her to have any stake in "his" property then he needs to suck up the mortgage payments and cover any general repair bills. A fair arrangement would then be that the girlfriend pays a proportion of the other bills determined by their relative incomes.

    But the main problem here is that the £200 payment is what your friend decided on in the beginning, and so the only reasonable thing he could do now is increase this by inflation.
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