Suspected affair - Tracking a mobile phone
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Ok, to start with, yes it is totally unreasonable!
The alternative is to end the relationship, because the trust is gone.
Just FYI here's the law
Offences in relation to stalking
(1)After section 2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 (offence of harassment) insert—
“2AOffence of stalking
(1)A person is guilty of an offence if—
(a)the person pursues a course of conduct in breach of section 1(1), and
(b)the course of conduct amounts to stalking.
(2)For the purposes of subsection (1)(b) (and section 4A(1)(a)) a person’s course of conduct amounts to stalking of another person if—
(a)it amounts to harassment of that person,
(b)the acts or omissions involved are ones associated with stalking, and
(c)the person whose course of conduct it is knows or ought to know that the course of conduct amounts to harassment of the other person.
(3)The following are examples of acts or omissions which, in particular circumstances, are ones associated with stalking—
(a)following a person,
(b)contacting, or attempting to contact, a person by any means,
(c)publishing any statement or other material—
(i)relating or purporting to relate to a person, or
(ii)purporting to originate from a person,
(d)monitoring the use by a person of the internet, email or any other form of electronic communication,
(e)loitering in any place (whether public or private),
(f)interfering with any property in the possession of a person,
(g)watching or spying on a person.
(4)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 51 weeks, or a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale, or both.
(5)In relation to an offence committed before the commencement of section 281(5) of the Criminal Justice Act 2003, the reference in subsection (4) to 51 weeks is to be read as a reference to six months.
(6)This section is without prejudice to the generality of section 2.”
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2012/9/part/7/crossheading/stalking/enacted
The bit you didnt high-light (conveniently) was :-
The following are examples of acts or omissions which, in particular circumstances, are ones associated with stalking—
Exhibiting one particular trait of that does not mean you are harassing someone.
You're taking it literally when it isnt meant to be. For examples, if you were to take that as the letter of the law, according to you "(b)contacting, or attempting to contact, a person by any means" automatically makes you a stalker?0 -
No, this is an offence in it's own right.The law isnt black and white its about context.
For example, i've just loitered outside at lunchtime, does that make me a stalker?
Also, you've managed to extract "stalking" from under the category of harassment.
It relates to stalking as harassment. The O/P is not attempting to harass their husband.
POFA 2012 was an act which introduced a lot of legislation in one go. So many of the sections are inserted into other existing acts of parliament.
To summarise you think this behaviour is ok, I think it's a serious criminal offence.
If I'm wrong the OP doesn't suffer, if you're wrong it's up to 51 weeks in prison (that's via the magistrates court with a 97% conviction rate)
I don't see the point of debating it with you further. If the gender roles were reversed this wouldn't even be questioned.0 -
When you know, or ought to know, it would amount to harassment - yes.The bit you didnt high-light (conveniently) was :-
The following are examples of acts or omissions which, in particular circumstances, are ones associated with stalking—
Exhibiting one particular trait of that does not mean you are harassing someone.
You're taking it literally when it isnt meant to be. For examples, if you were to take that as the letter of the law, according to you "(b)contacting, or attempting to contact, a person by any means" automatically makes you a stalker?
I didn't highlight it because it wasn't relevant to this point. It was there for you to read, I didn't edit anything out.
You seem fixated on them being married and therefore it's not harassment. Most stalkers are or were previously romantically involved with their victim.0 -
Of course it's unreasonable!
It's not unreasonable if I check where my child (under 18), (or a legally 'vulnerable adult' I'm responsible for) goes to, because I am safeguarding their wellbeing, which is my moral and legal responsibility.
It is not reasonable to stalk /follow /check up on /interfere with the liberty and legal behaviour of another competent adult, just because I might not like their choices! It's irrelevant whether that adult is my significant other or just someone else want to have control over. We (thankfully) do not live in a country where infidelity is illegal and where partners 'own' each other!!
In my opinion, once the trust is gone you either talk to the person and jointly try to rebuild the trust, or you decide to live with things as they are (open relationships anyone?) or you walk away with your head held high and a huge sigh of relief!
I am not saying track them with a device however i dont think its unreasonable to confirm where someone is. Otherwise surely you're just giving someone free reign to do as they please within a relationship if they have a mildly plausible cover story.
Doing that is how so many people end up as doormats in abusive relationships as their partner feels they can do what they want and they are afraid to challenge them.0 -
When you know, or ought to know, it would amount to harassment - yes.
I didn't highlight it because it wasn't relevant to this point. It was there for you to read, I didn't edit anything out.
You seem fixated on them being married and therefore it's not harassment. Most stalkers are or were previously romantically involved with their victim.
Its totally relevant because you chose to highlight the bits that *only* supported your argument. Those are example scenarios given of harassment. Extracting one or two out of context does not prove your point.
The act of stalking is predominantly about exerting control over (usually) an ex partner. Checking where someone is, in the context of getting reassurance that they are doing what they say they are doing is not stalking / harassment.0 -
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I would be fairly confident that if i started working late every friday night my wife at some point would query it.
That does not mean i'm in a "long dead" relationship. Far from it.
If you told your wife that you were required to work late, and she came to check up on that. Ye, your relationship is dead.
In trusting relationships, loving ones. Your wife would instead have you a nice meal ready, after a long day (and no that not sexist, I'd say the same if roles reversed)0 -
To summarise you think this behaviour is ok, I think it's a serious criminal offence.
No, i didnt say i condoned tracking the person with a device. I have repeatedly said i wouldnt do that. I did say it was not unreasonable to check what the other person was doing, under the circumstances.
If I'm wrong the OP doesn't suffer, if you're wrong it's up to 51 weeks in prison (that's via the magistrates court with a 97% conviction rate)
97% conviction rate on cases brought before them, having passed the Public Prosecution Service, and having passed any police investigation and charges being raised. "Yeah i checked up on where my husband was last friday night" - 51 weeks in prison! Nonsense. Frankly nonsense.
If the gender roles were reversed this wouldn't even be questioned.
Eh? The O/P is female, checking on her husband. I'm male. Either way round i dont see it as unreasonable.0 -
If you told your wife that you were required to work late, and she came to check up on that. Ye, your relationship is dead.
In trusting relationships, loving ones. Your wife would instead have you a nice meal ready, after a long day (and no that not sexist, I'd say the same if roles reversed)
I said EVERY Friday night - conveniently again missing out words that doesnt support your argument.0
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