Put away your purse & become debt-averse

determined_new_ms

What a wonderful daughter you are foxgloves. I'm sure it brought your mum a lot of comfort you were with her in her final days. Thinking of you x

PurpleFairy26

I am sorry sorry to hear about your Mum. May she rest in peace. Take care of yourself at this difficult time x

joeyjimbles

So sorry to read your sad news. And as the others say, please look after yourself as you go forward. You need to be your own best friend right now, as well as allowing your friends to give you the help and support they will want to give. Best thoughts.

foxgloves

Thanks for all your kind wishes. How thoughtful, when none of us know each other in real life. And yes, I am treating myself kindly. Many years ago, I had a spell of anxiety disorder. It was horrible at the time, but it was also useful because I now recognise symptoms of stress during difficult times & understand it's time for a gardening day or a 'watch a film on the sofa with cat' day. I'm also a big believer in telling myself "I'll deal with this if & when it happens" instead of giving in to stressful ways of thinking. On so many occasions, whatever it is DOESN'T happen, or if it does, is actually not so bad. So thanks, & I promise I'm being Mrs Sensible with looking after myself.
I've popped back home for a couple of days - so a 75 mile journey on top of a long appointment with the undertakers first thing, sorting out Mum's books & dropping some charity bags off. I love looking in charity shops - you know how you visit loads of times & find nothing, then suddenly you find a fab little bargain - so as I'm sorting & packing stuff for the local charity shops, I'm hoping that amongst it all will be a lovely money-saving find for somebody.
Anyway, must crack on with some relaxing. Tons to do from Sunday onwards but am going to have a nice 'normal' Friday night & Saturday.
Love to all,
F x

foxgloves

Evening Debtbusters,
After such a difficult few weeks, I have to say I genuinely enjoyed today. I'm going to be so busy organising the funeral & all the other stuff, but decided I really needed a 'normal' day, so mr f & I had a city centre trip. Yes, there were spends - £10 for parking for starters, but I didn't buy anything that wasn't on my list & my list only consisted of necessities. We used my John Lewis loyalty voucher for a free coffee & scone, so just paid mr f, which halved the bill & felt like a nice little treat.
And I had a look at some handbags. I am thinking about asking for one for Christmas, but isn't it difficult to find the 'right' one? I've decided that my criteria are:
*It MUST be big enough this time.
*It needs to be a colour which goes with all my stuff (which rules out a scrummy rose-coloured one I looked at).
*It must have a fastening to prevent pick-pocketing of my stuff.
*It must have good pockets.
*It must be leather
And importantly, while I WILL spend more to get a high quality bag which meets all the above, I am not going to pay really p*ss-takingly silly amounts. Even during the Spendy Decades, I'd never have spent hundreds of pounds on a bag. Today, I saw a bag I really liked (a brand), looked at the price & it was £269. No way I'd pay that. On the next display, I found an extremely similar one (except I liked it more because it was a bit bigger) for £99. But you know...that's a lot of cashola for me now, so when mr f suggested he buy it for me & put it away till December, I had a final prance around with it on my shoulder & said 'No'. I know I would get £99' s worth of use from it, as I don't tend to have multiple handbags, so I'd use it every day till it dropped, but it was that whole issue of walking away from a spend & thinking it over first. Only October, plenty of time!
I also noticed in WHSmith, I went straight to the items on my list & walked past all the magazines!! Back in the day, I'd have bought 3 or 4 on a single city centre trip, & all big monthly glossy ones.
Tomorrow I need to do some serious funeral planning before travelling south again, but tonight I'm determined to round off my day of normality with some funky sock knitting, a bit of TV, a hot bath & a nice free sample of face pack!
Cheers all,
F x

maryb

Foxgloves I have recently bought myself a new handbag from the local leather goods shop in town which ticks all my boxes - it's an organizer type with lots of useful pockets

It's similar to the Tula bags they used to stock in John Lewis. ( But costs a good bit less) When I was last in JL they said they still sell them but only online. As I couldn't see and assess what it looked like I never got round to ordering one. So the local independent shop made a sale and JL didn't

Onebrokelady

Glad to see you enjoyed your day of normality,at times like this they are often needed.
Well done on not succumbing to the handbag and magazines,I was in Smiths today and went and stared dreamily at all the magazines but I walked away without buying one,they are a major temptIon for me but I keep telling myself that the money I would have spent on one magazine could be used for a nice treat or something crafty if I add up each one I would normally buy
I hope you are now feeling relaxed after your bath and facemask xx

crazy_cat_lady

Really pleased to hear that you had a nice, normal sort of Saturday. And the Foxgloves common sense isn't going anywhere is it?

foxgloves

Lol, CCL. I am generally very sensible on the whole, though mr f would probably cite several examples where my common sense has completely deserted me, such as his oft-quoted tale of when I stuck a metal knife down the inside of an old toaster to see why it wasn't heating up........something I have NOT repeated!!!
Am travelling back south later today for a couple of nights to progress a whole heap of sorting & arrangements. I'm taking my food with me this time, as I'm no longer used to all these annoying little shops.....that behaviour belongs to the Spendy Years.....& do you know what I've noticed? It's blimming time-consuming too, calling in for bits & pieces of food supplies every day. I've got a nice crusty loaf, some avocados & peanut butter, some cheese, tuna, baking potatoes, milk, some bargainaceous blueberry yoghurt, crisps & a few other bits & pieces. I even have some cucumber & a tin of salmon to make my sis & I a packed lunch tomorrow when we have 3 appointments & a visit to the funeral directors. I mustn't let my usual good habits tumble by the wayside because I'm out of my usual routines. Have left a big notice on my desk reminding myself to update budgets, pay off a CC & check the Presents Box when I get back home. And shall keep telling myself, " Focus, Missis!"
Love to all on this grey soggy day,
F x

foxgloves

Maryb - I like Tula bags. Not cheap, but definitely not silly prices either. I like lots of pockets & compartments too, & I like a sufficiently deep bag to hold a water bottle & my reuseable cup for those free Waitrose coffees x