Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

Thanks Babystepper for visiting my diary. I enjoyed reading yours too. MIL is definitely trying to help and means well. I just wonder whether it is a bit like trying to help a butterfly out of a chrysalis and how much is the right amount of help and how much is too much. The reason it is in such sharp focus for me - as we have a 21 year old making worse decisions at his age than we did and he doesn't have the big shovel we do to clear our own mess up and therefore keeps coming to us. The author would suggest we leave him to the consequences of his own actions so that he learns early from his mistakes. I can understand the logic but the mother in me struggles with that.

DH gets paid tomorrow so planning to pay £300 off my car (CC5) which will take that debt to £1K and then hopefully - pay some more towards the end of the month assuming all goes well and we stick to the plan. He hasn't had a payslip yet so not sure what he will get. We are also awaiting a statement for his card that went out earlier than expected to see if that will need paying out of this payday or whether the date will move back again. If all goes well I only have 5 payments left on that card (CC4).

The good news is that we are now focusing on 5 debts rather than 7 or 8 - as OH and I have stopped using and cancelled 2 credit cards and we paid off the table. We were tempted to buy a battery operated lawn mower but didn't as it would have slowed debt repayment. If we had had a handy CC it would have been more tempting.

I've got a book on permaculture arriving today - will let you know how I get on.

savingholmes

Really found today a struggle. I was in pain which didn't help. Going into work and no longer having my leg elevated for as long made a big difference and seemed to increase the swelling at one point. Still not been to the doctor's so planning to get an appointment tomorrow. Hoping they will say need to keep it elevated which will defacto minimise time in the workplace. Anxiety about some other stuff also spiked so all in all it was a really rubbish day. Ended up leaving work early and doing some work at home but now worried about the two days I've left to work this week - as don't want to sit there in pain. I've got a couple of meetings I don't feel I can get out of but other than that will try to work from home. Typically, my boss isn't around to ask which makes it all feel that bit more difficult to ask for what I need.

You know when you are going through hell and you just keep going - and then your emotions catch up with you and try to trip you up... Went and did some fritter shopping - not great - some justified - some not. Bought some new stress toys, a pencil case for DD, some cat food, rest I think was sweets and nice drinks - all HB - but still £22 of which £5 was essential... I was also disappointed in the book I ordered so gave it OH as a belated Birthday pressie :oJust keep telling myself, one foot in front of the other - now again... and again... and again... and hoping against hope that it gets me where I need to go.

Reading a few diaries tonight, I'm not alone and others feel like I do... I know I will bounce back but today its hard.

seahorsey

So sorry you’re feeling down Savingholmes. Please get the leg checked out though - it sounds as though it’s still causing you a considerable amount of pain. Completely relate to the HB spends - I’ve banned myself at the minute! It’s alaways my escape when I’m having a stressful day at work - it’s only round the corner so I nip out at lunch to get some headspace and come back £20 lighter!

Hope today is a better day for you x

savingholmes

Thanks SeaHorsey - yes I try to restrict HB to once or twice a month or even send someone else in. The other trick I sometimes use is only to take cash. I've got an appointment but it is right when my meeting was supposed to be. Decided to put self first, may even cancel tomorrow's meeting.

Paid £300 to CC5 - dropping that down to £1k. Still trying to find out from DS when exactly I will see him. Frustrated about that too. I'm desperate to see him and he is seeing some other relatives first who live close to the airport and staying overnight - but not told me how many nights....

Doing_it_my_way

Hey! Hope your leg is better soon, being in pain drags you down. Re the house, check the fencing and the water supply to the fields, our first property needed new fences and had no water supply, it was soooooo hard to do it all. This one had good enough fencing which the horses have now trashed and piped water to every field with automatic feeders, electricity in the barns with hook up points and water, it really really has made all the difference. One very very important thing when buying land is to remember you need to have control in the country. There are so many properties which are shared access, shared boreholes or natural water supplies etc. rights of way over driveways, they are nothing but a nightmare and in our humble experience avoid at all costs. To share a driveway or water you need to be on very very very good terms with your neighbours which can change at any second.
Income from letting out the fields would be not worth bothering with if it is for agricultural purposes, horses though would get you more on a charge per horse, farmers will want the whole field for a set fee. There are subsidies payable for land have a look at the defra website and they will advise on tree planting subsidies as well. Our garden is around half an acre and just over half of that is grass and omg doesn't it grow during the summer it takes DH about an hour and a half to cut it. But honestly I wouldn't change any of it for the world its absolute bliss. Oh ours is accessed off the street so we don't have a long driveway to repair that's another thing to consider, previously we had a 1km drive, awful nothing nice about it But if it had been in good repair when we bought it or we could have afforded to concrete it all then it would have been ok Sorry for the essay

WelshKitty85

Hi savingholmes, I've just finished reading your diary and you're doing amazingly well. I'm so pleased you got the ppi payout. Sorry you've been feeling down. I hope your leg is better soon and that you feel better in general.

savingholmes

Thanks for the good wishes

Doing_it_my_way wrote: »

This one had good enough fencing which the horses have now trashed and piped water to every field with automatic feeders, electricity in the barns with hook up points and water, it really really has made all the difference. One very very important thing when buying land is to remember you need to have control in the country. There are so many properties which are shared access, shared boreholes or natural water supplies etc. rights of way over driveways, they are nothing but a nightmare and in our humble experience avoid at all costs. To share a driveway or water you need to be on very very very good terms with your neighbours which can change at any second.
Income from letting out the fields would be not worth bothering with if it is for agricultural purposes, horses though would get you more on a charge per horse, farmers will want the whole field for a set fee. There are subsidies payable for land have a look at the defra website and they will advise on tree planting subsidies as well. Our garden is around half an acre and just over half of that is grass and omg doesn't it grow during the summer it takes DH about an hour and a half to cut it.

.... the street so we don't have a long driveway to repair that's another thing to consider, previously we had a 1km drive, awful nothing nice about it But if it had been in good repair when we bought it or we could have afforded to concrete it all then it would have been ok Sorry for the essay

Great advice thank you so much. This one has a shared drive and like you wrote I heard warning bells going off in my head about that.... I really do want land - but I agree it needs to be the right one.

We saw a property last night that we would have been tempted to get as a second home... Against DR and other advice LOL - It didn't have its own land as such but was in an area of outstanding natural beauty and so surrounded by green and trees that would have been hard for anyone to develop. Unfortunately / fortunately it was subject to auction and closed today otherwise I would have liked to go and see it. It was £125K and had its own wind turbine and other off grid type stuff. it was a 2 bed that looks like someone has part renovated and run out of £. It could have been a weekend and holiday place that allowed us to test whether that kind of lifestyle really worked for us. If it did - we could sell our current house when DD finishes 6th form in a couple of years and pay most or all of the mortgage with equity from this house. Alternatively, once finished, we could have used it as a holiday let - or it might have been enough to scratch the 'itch' without blowing up our lives...

I so want a bolt hole currently - somewhere to run off and hide - escape to. So does DH. I keep looking at our lives - outwardly successful - but inwardly a mess - and think if we keep doing what we've always done - we will get what we've always got. DH and I are up for radical change - DD is absolutely not ......

savingholmes

WelshKitty85 wrote: »

Hi savingholmes, I've just finished reading your diary and you're doing amazingly well. I'm so pleased you got the ppi payout. Sorry you've been feeling down. I hope your leg is better soon and that you feel better in general.

Thanks WelshKitty for taking the time to read and post. I'm hoping against hope that we get better news than we are expecting in the GCSE results tomorrow - which would then allow DD to have her first choice of 6th form subject to an interview on Friday. We got told of sources of possible help yesterday for DD so that whether she achieves her goals or not - she will potentially get some support which would lighten our load and hopefully hers.

DS is now back safely in the country - and will hopefully make his way back to us sometime on Saturday. He is touring 3 sets of relatives in as many days from what I can tell before coming to us. He hasn't asked for an extra handout yet - so he''s doing slightly above where I expected him to be.

I will go and collect DD's results tomorrow - then take her for her scooter training course - then get my tyres done. Just putting one foot in front of another and trying to stay on plan and not self-sabotage. We did spend some of our eating out budget today - but needed it today as we were all stressed. I'm expecting the next 4-6 weeks to continue to be on the tough side as DD adjusts to wherever she ends up - and then hope things start to settle back down. Trying to access support for us too but everything always seems to take forever.

clearmydebts

Hi SavingH!

Just popping along to placemark and say hi. I'll catch up on your diary properly in the next few days. Happy to share your journey with you again!

savingholmes

Thanks for joining me CMD. I will follow your progress with interest too.

Sighs of relief all around. DD did well with her GCSEs although one subject she needs was one grade lower than ideally needed by 6th form I think that they will let her off. Find out for sure tomorrow. They gave me the impression that due to her circumstances unless she failed English and Maths they would be able to take her... as long as original predicted grades showed she had capability. I've already sent those through. Much better position than we anticipated today so hopefully stress will ease up.