Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

I've now been paid - so have updated my signature to show the £172 paid to CC4 that went out earlier than I expected. No fees incurred at least. Tomorrow my mortgage OP is due to go out. I think I'm going to move the £ I would normally have over-paid to CCs somewhere safer than the main bank account (ie out of temptation eyeline).

We'll decide when DS returns how much to help him out. Similarly with DD, I will let her do CBT, we will choose a scooter, check insurance and gear costs and then decide how much of it we pay versus MIL. There's no point us staying in debt longer than we need to - and we should be more than CC free in 2 years time so if DD needed extra help to go to uni then, we would be a better place to give it.

I have some time off starting a week today - 11 calendar days - really need it. By the end of next week we should be in a better place - as at least we will be dealing with 'knowns' rather than worrying about unknowns (GCSE results, eligibility for sixth form, costs etc) and DS should be home.

savingholmes

Not had the best day today - fell and hurt myself - bumps, bruises, scrapes and shock rather than anything more serious but not what I needed. Made me even more aware of how much I need to lose weight and get fitter although the fall was a clumsiness thing more than anything... Still hurts though.

Just done a grocery shop online to come tomorrow - spent more than originally planned but last day of free delivery and wanted a few treats. Had a lovely leftovers meal of roast lamb, mash, veg and gravy. OH re-heated it for me.

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savingholmes

£78.51 op to mortgage went out today.

FloraandFauna

Sorry to hear about your fall, Holmes - thankfully lamb makes everything better ; )

savingholmes

FloraandFauna wrote: »

thankfully lamb makes everything better ; )

That made my chuckle thanks, Flora. Today, I feel really lucky it wasn't worse. I have a 'second knee' and 'rope' burns on my arm plus associated bruising but can move freely today.

Currently on lunch, about to tuck into jacket spud and left over bolognese sauce from Tuesday. I think the meal plan has definitely given us some food structure and planned leftovers which is helping reduce wasted food, removing some decisions avoiding 'decision fatigue' and saving £.Tomorrow I get my hair done and I think I have an unopened magazine (mother's day subscription gift) to take with me. I also have plenty of books to listen to on my phone.

MovingForwards

Hope you feel better soon, try and keep mobile as the pain when stiffening up is horrible.

Enjoy the hairdresser's, makes a huge difference having a bit of pampering x

glass_half_full

Sorry to hear about your fall. Hope you recover soon!

seahorsey

Hope you’re on the mend soon x

savingholmes

Thanks MF, GHF and Seahorsey - love all your pseudonyms

I was listening to £m next door last night - and realised hat the author would attribute some of our serial debt habit to MIL This is where adults are conditioned to spend by regular gifts in kind or £ over a prolonged period. I grew up anti-debt while OH was brought up in a higher consumption lifestyle. MIL would sometimes give us csh and say we had to spend it on things she agreed with ie couldn't pay it off debt or invest it. We started married life with everything second hand but quite quickly that changed due to her gifts. I was always very grateful for her gifts however he author suggests that such gifts weakened both our earning and budgeting muscles leaving us weaker overall. If I look at BIL who lived at home until about age 27 (cf to our 21) and who has now been back living at home for over a year... I can kind of see the author's point.

They suggest that if you are bought a gift that doesn't match the standard or quality of the rest of your house - you feel obligated to make everything else better - and go into debt if need be to make other things match. Also you are conditioned to expect handouts on a regular basis - and then when they stop or slow down when you get older you are conditioned to almost expect the help - and make up the shortfall with over-spending. That was a true LBM for me. It is true that MIL comes over and kindly lists everything in our house that she feels we should have replaced from windows to the kitchen etc. I've also heard her in the past do the same to BIL and his family.

From all the book I've been reading/listening to - I am finding that I have to re-evaluate my view of wealth from possessions (consumption / spending) to retention (net worth). This is helping me re-evaluate my own and others so-called 'success' stories. A lot to think about. Before any of you jump in and criticise MIL or seek to exonerate MIL - the point I'm making is the author's.... What I'm doing currently is trying to review how I got here - and understand what needs to change so we are never in this position again. If the author is correct on EOC - and that it weakens adult children - we also need to consider how we deal with our children to ensure that we help them fly and don't weaken them.

savingholmes

We are planning a budget meeting tonight as per DR so that we can agree some priorities and max spends on the kids in particular. Some good news - the hair dresser is only going to charge £45 for DD's hair as just going to do her colour and try to strip out a band of colour and not cut it so it doesn't need as much doing as last time. I want to go back to envelopes for some categories this month - so will agree that with DH tonight.

Just sorted 2 new tyres for my car - had £15 off wheel alignment code - so cost us £139. Will pick them up Thursday. I had allowed £200 so chuffed. Paid cash out of the budget as planned expense. It feels so lovely that it is not a drama where normally it would be...