Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

I also think the £m type books I'm reading are also helping me lift my head higher and adjust my view of the world. There's so much in life we can't control however there is plenty that we either can control or we can at least steer. I want to start setting goals beyond money and find my true why so that I have a compelling vision of my future pulling me forward rather than seeing myself as just fixing past messes. I want to develop goals and dreams and action plans in the following areas:

• Simplifying my life
• Finances
• Life / purpose / value / creativity
• Making a difference
• Health and well being
• Spirituality

Nichelette

Congratulations on your financial progress and the weight loss

I was terrible for clutter but I think a lot of that was related to my then poor mental state. Decluttering made everything feel so much better and not replacing things has helped my financial state too. I still have a wardrobe full of craft stuff but I can't part with that . Husband isn't very impressed with my big heavy heat press getting in the way in the spare room :rotfl:.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

savingholmes wrote: »

Stop beating yourself up. People take you at your own evaluation of yourself - raise your self belief any way you reasonably can.

We went to look at a couple of scooter shops today and got a nasty shock. Some of the bikes I've seen that seem affordable are apparently imports from China and really hard to get parts for. May need to up the budget. One guy also suggested that even on a £800 second hand bike the insurance could be £500 as kids like to steal them, razz them around a field and then burn them! :eek: DD doesn't know how much Mil has but its about £3.3K but we were hoping to save some of that for if she went to uni. MIL puts about £10 pcm into it until they are 21 - and occasionally more at birthday or Xmas. Need to review our options.

Don't know how to split the quote i really do need to work on self-esteem - & i'm so much better than i was but a long way to go still Although perhaps part of believing in myself, my self worth & the value of my opinion is what has made me stand up to unreasonable requests (and that's the most polite description) from family. So that's needing self-esteem, self belief and a bit of determination to stick to it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Oh well!

If you have a garage etc i'd definitely encourage usage for the scooter - i feel bad for sharing but my friend, about 20 years ago now! had a lovely wee scooter that someone picked up and was loading into the back of his van when she returned to it after work :mad::mad::mad: Much more recently my nephew also had his stolen and wrecked - this was at night from an enclosed space - though not a garage :mad: but this is the risk with anything - someone tried to steal my car whilst i was in work a few years ago so these things do happen

I say well done to you :T i wanted a scooter or motorbike when i was younger - your encouragement to your kids to spread their wings and give them the confidence to go for it is really wonderful to read :T

savingholmes

Nichelette wrote: »

Congratulations on your financial progress and the weight loss
I was terrible for clutter but I think a lot of that was related to my then poor mental state. Decluttering made everything feel so much better and not replacing things has helped my financial state too. I still have a wardrobe full of craft stuff but I can't part with that . Husband isn't very impressed with my big heavy heat press getting in the way in the spare room :rotfl:.

Thank you. MH is definitely part of our clutter problem - and therefore decluttering is having a positive reinforcement impact. Even after binning some and giving some away I still have tons of craft stuff. How big is the heat press? We're lucky enough to live in a 4 bed house with a kitchen and 2 reception rooms... OH and I have a study each - his is downstairs and mine is above his. I rarely use mine even though I could now a I like the view out of the front window of trees and bushes and from upstairs I'd miss that. I originally had downstairs but gave it to him to [STRIKE]force[/STRIKE] encourage him to be more part of the family more...

savingholmes

StripeyTightsSpottySocks wrote: »

Don't know how to split the quote

You copy (using control c followed by control v) where the square brackets are around the word quote and put it on the end of each section you want to break up. You then go back to the top of the quote and copy using control C everything between the square quotes and the do control v to paste.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks wrote: »

i really do need to work on self-esteem - & i'm so much better than i was but a long way to go still Although perhaps part of believing in myself, my self worth & the value of my opinion is what has made me stand up to unreasonable requests (and that's the most polite description) from family. So that's needing self-esteem, self belief and a bit of determination to stick to it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Oh well!

Good for you. We all have to stand up for ourselves. I don't know if I mentioned it before but one of the many books I've been dipping in and out of is a book called Boundaries - it's good but intense.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks wrote: »

If you have a garage etc i'd definitely encourage usage for the scooter...I say well done to you :T i wanted a scooter or motorbike when i was younger - your encouragement to your kids to spread their wings and give them the confidence to go for it is really wonderful to read :T

Luckily we do have a garage and now OH has sold his second duff motorbike there will be room. We had one stolen off our front doorstep at a previous house. We were gutted. It was recovered but written off. Thanks for the compliment.

savingholmes

Not had the best start today but hey it can only get better right? OH's CC has taken a CC payment 3 days earlier than last month which puts it the wrong side of payday. So irritating. I have had to use a free overdraft facility I have on another account to cover it. They took #172. Aaaaaaargh!

Then tried to work from home but internet connection was crap and then managed to wreck my password input when I swapped to a different computer meaning I now can't access it until after 9. Yet I have nearly all day meetings which is why I was trying to get a headstart! Murphy likes to call properly when he comes....

It can only go up from here. Until it crashed though I was really pleased with how it looked though so hopefully all will be fine later. Off to finish getting ready for work and then planning to go in early for me which will be a result in itself. It's all very well doing some work from home but people can't see that....

I have a lovely lamb dinner to take in with me today. I bought a new enamel roasting tin a few weeks ago - it seems to be bigger than my last one and fit a whole leg of lamb in easily. So tasty and tender. Apologies to any vegans / vegetarians out there... I bought it months ago for half the normal price so its great for this week when I only had #40 to spend on groceries. I also defrosted some mince beef for OH to cook tonight and we have chicken in the freezer if we get bored so happier about food / freezer / storecupboard situation.

I want to try and do #40 shops at a time this coming payday month - even if I do the odd extra one rather than risk overspending. I will let you know how that goes. Happy money saving to you all. Have a good one!

savingholmes

Managed to rescue my work and one of my meetings got cancelled so it was a better day over all than i expected. Took the dog to a planned vet consultation which is covered by a health plan we have with the vet. .Asked about getting her neutered but we're too close to a possible next season so they said we will have to wait - which is good money wise but disappointing as we just wanted it done.

While we were there she said the dog was due vaccination boosters etc - fortunately they are all covered as part of the scheme. I was so relieved. She did them then and there too and released on the system for us to pick up our next 3 months supply of flea and worm treatment. Pooch has really put n weight this summer - so think we need to have some daily food measure as I think all 3 of us are feeding her! A little while ago she had three weeks where she barely ate so we kind of upped what we were feeding her when she agreed to eat. Need to get it back in balance and get her (and us) to exercise more. OH and I are trying to take her for at least 1 walk each a day from 15 minutes to about 40 mins and the odd run around.

Wnat to change our dog's normal pet insurance too but I'm going to leave it until after payday. It's not due yet but we're under insured compared to how much we love her and our vet told us our current insurers rarely pay out so need to look elsewhere... Expecting to increase from around £15pcm to around £30ish - don't want to go much higher than that. Plan to do via a cashback site - but not guaranteed that they payout.

Had to nip out and get £6.47 of groceries tonight. OH was doing tea and realised we hadn't got a key ingredient. Will need to dock it from next payday's budget (Thursday). I realised tonight I could have used the emergency fund instead of the free overdraft (allowed up to £250 with no fee) but I'm due savings interest in November and didn't want to wreck it. At least I noticed the payment had gone out in time to avoid any fees - got to celebrate the positive. Earlier in the year I got in the habit of borrowing from the EF and not putting it back. This way forces me to deal with it.

So enough rambling, a book I'm reading asks something along the lines of 'What story do you have to believe to be stuck where you are - and what do you need to change in the story you tell yourself to get a better outcome?' He then gives tips on how to find evidence for a more supportive story eg others in your position have gone on to achieve y etc So what limiting belief do you need to ditch? What supportive belief about yourself could you replace it with?

savingholmes

Well I've looked into a personal trainer briefly. Looks like I get one for £25 a session or if I pay for 5 upfront it works out at £20 each. I don't know how long the session is but I am so unfit that it might not matter LOL. I will ask at work again about gym discounts and then look to get something set up. I also plan to ask him to do some sessions for DD as I think it will help give her some focus.

OH has just joined a 24/7 gym but its only staffed 7-7 so don't think I would feel safe so think I will join the gym we already pay for DD to go to and where I occasionally go swimming.

It feels good to do something concrete to support our health and fitness. I think getting a PT is likely to make all the difference - and if I get one to suit me - a lot cheaper than therapy and the results are likely to show in my body and mind. Looking forward to payday tomorrow. Been trying to get up and out earlier this week - helped by taking medication earlier - and I feel that is helping my performance at work. So feel like things are improving generally just need it to stay that way.

jwil

We had a similar issue with my cat - she was getting fed too much as we were both feeding her. We now put out the day's food each morning so that we always know by what's there whether she's been fed or not.

savingholmes

Well today has been a really full on day - early start for me and very late finish. Good news though is that I'm back on track with both hours and work ad even better news I get paid tomorrow. I think my biggest fight on debt busting / money saving this coming month is working out how much to help out DS and DD with big one off costs and how much to use MIL's savings for DD and DS's age (21) to say we will do x but no more. I tend to be completely over-generous or under - I struggle to find the middle path.

I keep trying to remind myself that £1K of our current debt, ie around 3% approx, is directly there due to DS over-spending and being unwise with money. On top of that we gave him / spent on him at least £1K earlier in the year (on top of monthly uni £)I had to use our EF for it - but it also meant e couldn't repay debt with the £. I even got him to commit in writing to repay - but even then am struggling to maintain that firm line. If he hadn't spent a whole year's money in about 6 months I would have been more sympathetic.

Nevertheless most of his uni options are in term 1 when he goes back so he says he can't get a job that term but should need our £ less in terms 2 and 3 so can repay us then. He's also due some tax back from the other country but you have to apply after leaving and wait for it so no guarantee when that will arrive. We had thought it would be a bit more immediate than that.

Even if he does end up repaying us after Christmas - it is well before our 0% cards are due to end. I am aware though that he also has a student overdraft of £2K, CCs of about £1K between them... and would love to be able to write the £ off. I worry though if I do that I am enabling his poor financial management to continue and he could fail to correct habits that are leading him down a path towards huge debt if he's not careful. That is however balanced with - for the last 6 months he's been doing much better - and got a job that paid 60% of his living expenses which given he was in a major city was immense.