Prosperous soul in the making

MovingForwards

A few bargains there and having the budget for them is a good step forward.

Wishing you well with your budget meeting, I'm sure it will all work out as you hope

Doing_it_my_way

Hey! Been trying to read your diary am a few pages in but wanted to read recent happenings also
Hope you feel better after your fall, it hurts when you are a bit older (not saying you are old lol) but younger ones bounce and we no longer do.
I also felt the call of the land you talk about and gave into it almost 20 years ago now, left the first property after 5 years as the expense and upkeep was huge and have a much smaller place now, sometimes I think when we feel that call we just need to get back to basics where the peace and quiet is and not live in the rush of life, for me there was a definite urge for peace and quiet and stillness in my life.
Well done on your book, my Mum wrote one a long time ago and it was published, amazing.
I am also dieting I find my weight fluctuates with my state of mind, when I am of healthy mind I make sure my body is also, the gym is something that helped me no end, bodies need exercise, good luck!

Honeysucklelou2

Interesting points about how much we help adult children - something I'm going to have to look at in terms of wanting to help versus what isffordable and the impact on the younger children.

savingholmes

Doing_it_my_way wrote: »

Hey! Been trying to read your diary am a few pages in but wanted to read recent happenings also

Thanks for the effort. Most diaries I go back to the beginning on but if they are too long I ignore them or just start from where they are now.

Doing_it_my_way wrote: »

Hope you feel better after your fall, it hurts when you are a bit older (not saying you are old lol) but younger ones bounce and we no longer do.

At 49 definitely feel it more - got beautiful colourful bruising. All fine and not impeding movement just painful when I lean on it like when I'm trying to sleep.

Doing_it_my_way wrote: »

I also felt the call of the land you talk about and gave into it almost 20 years ago now, left the first property after 5 years as the expense and upkeep was huge and have a much smaller place now, sometimes I think when we feel that call we just need to get back to basics where the peace and quiet is and not live in the rush of life, for me there was a definite urge for peace and quiet and stillness in my life.

I know I feel a really strong call to land but am not doing much in my garden so I am aware that that makes little sense. I am concerned re upkeep too and costs. On paper we would be better staying put or getting a small home in the country somewhere but land, green, trees and privacy calls me.

I saw a place last night that has 15 acres and is at the top end of what we could get a mortgage for but in theory would be doable. OH and I are both tempted. It would be closer to work for me, further for OH but closer to a motorway (I think the land literally runs alongside it so need to consider noise and potential pollution aspect of that), nearer to some family but further for DD to the point she might need different sixth form which she would kick off about and further from her friends...

15 acres is more than we were looking for - I was aiming for 5 - but I would be tempted to buy the property and either rent the extra land for grazing / paddock if we could get interest or even sell some of it on to help fund the main house. Again it has some great outbuildings with conversion potential into holiday cottages and the like which would be another way of helping to fund the property in the short term - provided we could get enough capital for the conversion and if our future mortgage allowed it. I am starting to think we need to go and see our bank as a starting point to see what they would be willing to lend us in practice and what deals we would qualify for

OH used to regularly help out a farmer for fun while a student and still hankers after it. He's life's natural hermit and I often feel he missed his calling having an office job. Neither of us would have to give up our day jobs for this location in the short term so extra income, if we got it, would be truly extra rather than what we were living on. If we were allowed to retain our existing interest only mortgage for part of it - I think the other repayment element would be around £900 pcm if that was over 25 years and at 3.9% - I would hope we'd get a better rate than that. It would halve the speed of CC debt repayment but should still be doable.

OH detests his job - so if were able to say - get to £X income from the land and you can give up your job - that would be a real motivator.

I think our utility and other costs could rise dramatically though so would definitely need to look into that.

Doing_it_my_way wrote: »

Well done on your book, my Mum wrote one a long time ago and it was published, amazing. I am also dieting I find my weight fluctuates with my state of mind, when I am of healthy mind I make sure my body is also, the gym is something that helped me no end, bodies need exercise, good luck!

Congrats to your mum. I know the feeling re dieting and exercise still haven't done anything more about that. Still want to see costs for this month first. OH has joined his gym though.

savingholmes

Thanks MovingForward - we didn't end up having our budget meeting as I had a nap for a bit however we did talk budgets a little as we took our dog for a walk. OH is smitten by the idea of a property I saw last night - and wants to go and have a look. Normally, you can get some money off the asking price, if we could get £25-50K off it would make it far more doable. I keep reminding myself of the land investor saying - that you get most of your profit from property based on the initial purchase price rather than anything you do to it. They therefore advocate buying property at least 20% undervalue - harder to do in practice though if you are not a cash buyer and don't want to be gazumped.

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

Interesting points about how much we help adult children - something I'm going to have to look at in terms of wanting to help versus what is affordable and the impact on the younger children.

Thanks Honeysuckle. I've been playing with different figures in my budget to estimate the impact on our DFD etc. of how much we help the kids. OH has just agreed that we can have our budget meeting now - so will feedback the outcome later.

If we do end up pursuing a new property I think we need to throw every penny we can at the debt to get it down. I also think we need to be more aggressive about pursuing extra income opportunities...

savingholmes

savingholmes wrote: »

I've been looking at my budget for August and my list is growing of things I potentially need to buy:

£1100? Scooter- bought by us - refunded from MIL
£600? Laptop ditto
£1700 but should get back - Think need to ask MIL to transfer the money upfront

[STRIKE]£174 OH's motorbike insurance - got quietly moved to next month - due on the 18/8 [/STRIKE]- paid 15/8
[STRIKE]£150-200 New tyres on my car - plan to get close to pay day as OH thinks tread is near legal limit[/STRIKE] Paid £139 17/8

£250? Scooter insurance for DD d/k - still d/k but decided to put on MIL list to pay
£300? Motorbike gloves £25, trousers £85, helmet £40-85, jacket £85 - agreed with DH will contribute £200 towards only - we have already paid £164 for CBT course and provisional driving licence

[STRIKE]£85[/STRIKE] DD hair cut & colour (one off before starts 6th form) - already got a £25 discount - she has long hair but also need a weird band tint stripping out - and the dye redoing - booked for 29/8 - now costing £45
£140 new items for 6th form - still assuming stuck with this

???? DS says needs new shoes - his are falling apart... (he does usually mean that lol) - assumed £100 - will ask him to do jobs around the house to contribute
???? DS glasses - he is currently wearing an old prescription as he broke his while away assumed £100 - will ask him to do jobs around the house to contribute
He has a £250 deposit to pay for his uni accommodation - d/k if he's paid it but feels unlikely - if he has failed to pay this despite buying a £750+ laptop on (his) credit - will say this is a loan only and he should give us the money back out of his OZ tax refund as soon as he gets it
He can move into his new place by mid Sept ie will need to start paying even if he stays longer at home - this would be out of Sept payday so ignoring for now
He eats loads!!!! Thinking of saying to him - if you want money for any or all of that do some of our diy jobs around the house and garden and earn it. (He's 21 but returning from a year abroad so missed him)

We also have a week off as a family during that period so would be nice to have some spends... I think barring another miracle like the ppi reclaim or similar I'm going to be closer to paying minimum rather than massive over payments from my August salary. I don't want to lose momentum or the joy of the breathing space the ppi reclaim gave us... just trying to balance things...

We have allowed £175 for eating out and days out - over and above what I've already spent in the last few days. Hopefully that will be enough.

If we successfully put these steps in place - and stay within budget will be able to:
Overpay mortgage £78.41 (done)
Pay CCs a total of £1137 including the £172 that has already gone out

This would leave our CC debt at the end of the month at £28,701 and leave our Nov 20 CC DFD intact, so that's the plan. As DH says, we need to stop letting our kids derail our own financial future. Even though I am not superstitious part of me is still wanting to say fingers crossed and wish me luck :rotfl: I don't know but something in me suggests we need to be more grown up than that :rotfl:

woodfired

Hi savingholmes, found your diary!

The house with land sounds amazing, especially if your DH has some skills regarding maintenance etc as we find even our modest 1/3 acre hard to keep on top of in some warm, wet summers when the grass grows like mad and it's never dry enough for long enough to mow! And I'm a farmer's daughter so should be on it in that respect! It does sound like the dream though, good luck.

You're also doing really well on the debt busting front, must be hard with older kids who seem to cost so much more! Mine are bad enough at 10 and 5!x

savingholmes

Waves at Woodfired - thanks for visiting:wave:. I would love a big garden / acres. OH has skills - getting him to use them is a different thing. I think I'm torn between wanting lots of land - and trying to be realistic about what we could achieve if we were also working full time which I assume we would be. I don't want to buy so expensive a house that we can't just enjoy it or that we have to work majorly longer to have enough money to live there and pay off the mortgage.

Just done a bit of reading about houses, values, health impacts and being near a motorway and it doesn't come out well - so I think we will pass on that particular one... They didn't say it ran alongside one - just when I went on G00gl3 it accidentally went too far and showed the motorway!! At least I understand why it was in the more affordable range...

Still a bit tempted with last week's one however it was on a main road and grade 2 listed so think we are making the right decision not to go for that one. The ES has sent us an email asking for feedback. I was surprised they didn't phone... Ideally don't want to be on a main road or too near one. I accept that electric cars could improve things longer term but in the meantime...

I've got to the point now where if a property is a lot cheaper than expected I go digging to try and understand why.... and sometimes uncover scary stuff like 'Jk' weeds that impact your ability to get a mortgage etc or certain property rights not included in the sale or clawbacks or service charges. You have to be so switched on. I am hoping that it will mean that when we are in a position to buy I will have a better understanding of property values, risks and bargains...

savingholmes

Just taken pooch for a walk with DH. DH still wants to view the property as you get a lot of land and buildings for the money. Will look into whether can get grants for planting trees etc.

BabyStepper

savingholmes wrote: »

Thanks MF, GHF and Seahorsey - love all your pseudonyms

I was listening to £m next door last night - and realised hat the author would attribute some of our serial debt habit to MIL This is where adults are conditioned to spend by regular gifts in kind or £ over a prolonged period. I grew up anti-debt while OH was brought up in a higher consumption lifestyle. MIL would sometimes give us csh and say we had to spend it on things she agreed with ie couldn't pay it off debt or invest it. We started married life with everything second hand but quite quickly that changed due to her gifts. I was always very grateful for her gifts however he author suggests that such gifts weakened both our earning and budgeting muscles leaving us weaker overall. If I look at BIL who lived at home until about age 27 (cf to our 21) and who has now been back living at home for over a year... I can kind of see the author's point.

They suggest that if you are bought a gift that doesn't match the standard or quality of the rest of your house - you feel obligated to make everything else better - and go into debt if need be to make other things match. Also you are conditioned to expect handouts on a regular basis - and then when they stop or slow down when you get older you are conditioned to almost expect the help - and make up the shortfall with over-spending. That was a true LBM for me. It is true that MIL comes over and kindly lists everything in our house that she feels we should have replaced from windows to the kitchen etc. I've also heard her in the past do the same to BIL and his family.

From all the book I've been reading/listening to - I am finding that I have to re-evaluate my view of wealth from possessions (consumption / spending) to retention (net worth). This is helping me re-evaluate my own and others so-called 'success' stories. A lot to think about. Before any of you jump in and criticise MIL or seek to exonerate MIL - the point I'm making is the author's.... What I'm doing currently is trying to review how I got here - and understand what needs to change so we are never in this position again. If the author is correct on EOC - and that it weakens adult children - we also need to consider how we deal with our children to ensure that we help them fly and don't weaken them.

This is such a good example of what the millionaire next door talks about. And it's clear your MiL is trying to help. Who knew that this kind of help had other repercussions? Makes me sad but I'm glad you've noticed and can maybe try to make some changes.