My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

Not wearing masks at work is very weird and no one likes it 😀 we have become so accustomed to wearing them all the time. I did spend the whole shift without one apart from when I was taking blood from a CF patient, it's going to take some getting used to that's for sure. Quite a lot of staff are carrying on wearing them to be honest 🤷‍♀️

I have three days off now and typically it's raining 😫 I had to go into town today to pick up my prescription and I bought a T-shirt dress from Next out of my birthday money, it was £12 so not expensive and I thought it would be nice for wearing on sunny days when the sun comes back 🤞🤞 

Dad sent me a message to say his cream tea was lovely so I'm glad he enjoyed it. My sister and her partner are down visiting over the weekend so hopefully they will have a nice time. They nearly fell out last time they came down so hopefully that won't happen again 🤞

I don't have any plans for my days off so far, we were thinking of going for a long walk but if it's going to rain that won't be happening. I also had some bits I wanted to to do in the garden but again not if it's raining. I am very tired today though so probably could do with chilling out, I slept for 12 hours last night 🙀🙀

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

The cream tea is a great idea - and it's good that the side effect of the steroids actually helps address the low levels of appetite. I wonder whether his GP would prescribe Fortisip or something similar for no-cream-tea days?

It's very tough when people start to forget. Hold on to the good things though, and remember there will be times when his real self shines through. Can he maybe get a book or two of old photos that would give him things he enjoyed and can talk about? My Dad had one of old photos of the English Countryside but it could be any interest.

He wouldn't drink it Cherry. It's very sad that he is losing his memory more for him than me to be honest. I have a very complicated relationship with my Dad because he hasn't always been the nicest person to my Mum so I'm torn between the old resentments that I normally feel towards him and a new feeling of sadness that he is now frail, confused and possibly frightened,he watched his brother succumb to dementia a couple of years ago and it was awful. I feel guilty for not liking him very much in the past and torn now because of the situation he is in. 

Drawingaline

His situation now doesn't change how he was in the past. But I can understand how hard it must be for you, especially with how it must be affecting your mum.

Glad he enjoyed the cream tea.

Cherryfudge

Onebrokelady said:

 It's very sad that he is losing his memory more for him than me to be honest. I have a very complicated relationship with my Dad because he hasn't always been the nicest person to my Mum so I'm torn between the old resentments that I normally feel towards him and a new feeling of sadness that he is now frail, confused and possibly frightened,he watched his brother succumb to dementia a couple of years ago and it was awful. I feel guilty for not liking him very much in the past and torn now because of the situation he is in. 

I remember now, you have said how you felt for your Mum. I really don't think you should feel guilty for not liking him much. You can see what's going on and ill-treatment is surely ill-treatment no matter who perpetrates it or how their health is. I think it's possible to have compassion for someone while still not liking what they've done, if you see what I mean.

It's great that the cream tea went down well!

I remember getting calories and fluids into my Mum when she was ill by means of an M&S chocolate milkshake... I wonder if there are treats along those lines that your Dad might like? I also remember making up @ngel Delight with cream for an elderly patient during lockdown in order to pack the calories in! However, my main advice would be look after your own well-being.

Onebrokelady

Drawingaline said:

His situation now doesn't change how he was in the past. But I can understand how hard it must be for you, especially with how it must be affecting your mum.

Glad he enjoyed the cream tea.

I keep telling myself this, the other complication is that my mum is not being very sympathetic to him which is totally understandable but to my surprise and horror I am now resenting her for not being more sympathetic because he can't help being the way he is right now. My head is all over the place with conflicting feelings 😟

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

Onebrokelady said:

 It's very sad that he is losing his memory more for him than me to be honest. I have a very complicated relationship with my Dad because he hasn't always been the nicest person to my Mum so I'm torn between the old resentments that I normally feel towards him and a new feeling of sadness that he is now frail, confused and possibly frightened,he watched his brother succumb to dementia a couple of years ago and it was awful. I feel guilty for not liking him very much in the past and torn now because of the situation he is in. 

I remember now, you have said how you felt for your Mum. I really don't think you should feel guilty for not liking him much. You can see what's going on and ill-treatment is surely ill-treatment no matter who perpetrates it or how their health is. I think it's possible to have compassion for someone while still not liking what they've done, if you see what I mean.

It's great that the cream tea went down well!

I remember getting calories and fluids into my Mum when she was ill by means of an M&S chocolate milkshake... I wonder if there are treats along those lines that your Dad might like? I also remember making up @ngel Delight with cream for an elderly patient during lockdown in order to pack the calories in! However, my main advice would be look after your own well-being.

I'm seeing both my parents in a different light at the moment which is very confusing and upsetting. My mum can be difficult as well but that doesn't excuse the way my Dad has behaved in the past. They are both damaged people who should not have got back together when they did, we as their children certainly paid the price for that decision 

Onebrokelady

I have been looking for videos on living a frugal life on YouTube this evening and found someone who is says she is on a low income that turned out to be £1,300 a month 🙀🙀🙀that is not a low income, by all means show how to live to a budget and how to cut costs but don't try to tell me that you are living on a low income when you earn £400 a month more than I do 😡😡 I didn't even earn that much when I worked full time 

Edited to add that she just spent £72  on getting her hair done so no not frugal at all 

Cherryfudge

I can well believe current circumstances have thrown your feelings about each of your parents up in the air. I hope given time this will settle down though of course there are likely to be further changes as your Dad's condition progresses. I found it difficult to be even-tempered with my Dh over losing some of his hearing, so I do sympathise with your Mum. These things aren't the person's fault but it's a shift in the everyday norms for those who live with them and that's a stressor, which tends to come out in irritability. I was lucky in that marvellous hearing aid technology came to our aid but not everyone has that respite.

And the blog...! Oh dear, I suppose our perception of poverty is relative. I've never spent £70+ on my hair at all! 

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

I can well believe current circumstances have thrown your feelings about each of your parents up in the air. I hope given time this will settle down though of course there are likely to be further changes as your Dad's condition progresses. I found it difficult to be even-tempered with my Dh over losing some of his hearing, so I do sympathise with your Mum. These things aren't the person's fault but it's a shift in the everyday norms for those who live with them and that's a stressor, which tends to come out in irritability. I was lucky in that marvellous hearing aid technology came to our aid but not everyone has that respite.

And the blog...! Oh dear, I suppose our perception of poverty is relative. I've never spent £70+ on my hair at all! 

I'm just going with the flow at the moment and trying not to think too far ahead. My mum thinks he is putting it on and that's what I find annoying because he quite clearly isn't, he forgot I went to see him in hospital a couple of hours after I went in and she called him an ignorant so and so like he had done it on purpose, she doesn't understand how dementia works so thinks he is being awkward 

Onebrokelady

Had a terrible night last night and didn't get much sleep at all. My feet were hurting really badly so it kept me awake, I was still awake at 5am so didn't get up until 11am in the end 😫 I'm currently waiting for some washing to finish but it's just started raining so that will going on the airier to dry.

Im off tomorrow but have to go into work because my friend is retiring and they are doing a tea party for her tomorrow. I'm not working with her this week so won't see her if I don't go up tomorrow, I'm hoping I feel a bit livelier by tomorrow 🤞