Back, still in debt, probably depressed (Take 2)

CapricornLass

I've just finally sat down after just clearing up. Family get together today, so dinner for 11 and tea for 10! I seemed to spend all my time bouncing up and down getting bits for people. Still it was nice to see everyone again.

Good for you on getting such a good deal on the carpet.

Uniscots97

Chores for today, clearing stuff out of the house and prepping for the carpets. Also got to drop cleared out shoes (a lot never worn but unable to wear heels now) to a friend. Texted her but not heard back, that could mean she has no credit in her phone!
I've kept a couple of pairs of special heels for LO when she's older, my wedding shoes, a pair of hand embroidered silk heels I bought and a lovely pair of designer sandals. Seriously though when I see how much stuff I'm clearing I really have wasted a lot of money over the years on stuff I've not really used. Before I met OH I was quite bad for buying a new outfit etc for each occasion.

On the subject of OH, he asked me for a loan of money. I said no way just can't do it as got fitter to pay and paid for carpets, car stuff etc all in last few weeks. He went in the huff and said he'd have to get an advance on his wages as he couldn't afford to get to work (he asked me for £200). So I said getting to work doesn't cost you £200. He's suddenly gone quiet about it. One thing I did notice when I was at other house on Friday was 2 plates, 2 forks etc and remnants of similar style meal. Now either he hasn't washed any dishes or he's had company. My Mum thinks I should ask him. Honestly I can't face it at the moment I just want the house sold. He acted very odd yesterday, pretended he was busy when he was supposed to be taking LO and me to a party (one of LO's friends). So I drove my car. Then going down to the shop for fizzy stuff because there was none in the house and to the shops later because he fancied a snack that we didn't have in (even though there was lots of other things).

Clearing the house has taught me a few things:

1) I don't need as much stuff
2) I have loads of clothes, I just need to lose a little weight to fit them/look better in them again
3) sentimental stuff stays, just because OH doesn't have anything from his childhood/growing up doesn't mean I need to feel guilty about condensing and keeping mine
4) found more stuff I can sell (stuff with labels etc!!)

Uniscots97

Saw friend and gave her 20 pairs of shoes......yes....20! I think you now see why I said I don't need as much stuff! But I can't believe how much money I've wasted over the years on tat. It has to stop (well my spending habits have changed considerably since having LO).

OH is asleep after moaning for most of the evening that this isn't good enough and that isn't good enough etc.

beanielou

You have way more patience with your OH than I would.

beanielou

Hate to ask but does your OH gamble?

Uniscots97

My patience is wearing thin Beanielou. As far as I know no he doesn't but things aren't adding up and I don't just mean the sums. The disappearing acts out of the house etc, multiple plates in the sink

RhiBi

I'm so sorry you have this added stress with everything else you're dealing with. Are you able to talk to him about it?

Xxxx

Uniscots97

Thanks RhiBi I've tried talking to him many times, he either doesn't get it, says I'm the problem that he's depressed or claims he doesn't remember me talking to him about it before

Uniscots97

Well it's been a difficult few days. OH kicked off on Friday, he was upset with one of his adult kids but decided to bring up the celebration dinner he ruined yet again. He still doesn't get it was his fault and says it was my parents fault. What would you do in their position, sit back and say nothing? Told him I'm fed up with his attitude it just seems to be getting worse. He tried starting it all again on Saturday in front of LO, told him he was out of order. He tried saying sorry, but I didn't want to hear it. When we got back LO was ready for a nap, he asked if he could take us out I said I wasn't feeling well and was going to have a nap with LO. He then wondered why I pushed him away when he tried to hug me later. He seems to have a problem with everyone (and it feels like he's now trying to separate me from my family). He's also been spending yet more money he doesn't have (and wonders why I keep my finances separate).

On a more positive note the carpets are fitted, although money will be a little tight until I get paid in just over a week. At least it's completely paid. Just have to be careful. My Mum also got me lots of packs of nappies for LO. Paying a quarter of their normal price.

Off to try a rescue some whites that have ended up grey due to a rogue sock.

beanielou

Sorry that it has been a difficult few days L(
Keep plodding.