Splitting family holiday costs

cyantist

happyandcontented wrote: »

As for your question re children and bedtimes. We used to let ours stay up later on holiday or if they were young enough we let them sleep in a lie back pushchair. When we went back to the room we would put them to bed and sit on the balcony with a glass of wine. We didn't use baby listening services we had them with us or we took a bottle of wine back with us and chilled on the balcony.

Thanks! Seems like it's certainly doable as a couple, not quite so easy if you're wanting to socialise in a group on an evening but not impossible.

Detroit wrote: »

Is it possible to get an idea of the cost had you each had separate holidays in similar standard accommodation and use this as a start point?
So, your family unit and your parents would each be looking at the cost of a one bed property, your sister a two or three bed.
I guess that would look pretty much like paying per room, as has already been mentioned, so maybe that's the fairest.

Thanks for this idea! Just having a very quick look for similar location/style/facilities but smaller places, and it’s more expensive for somewhere to fit 10 people, than for 3 smaller separate places. I guess this isn’t surprising as there are so many 1/2/3 bed places available and not as many 4/5 bed ones. But of the total cost of 3 smaller places, 42% of that cost would be for the 2/3 bedroom place with 29% for the 1 bedroom places. Somewhere with 2 bedrooms isn’t double the cost of somewhere with 1 bedroom.
That would suggest a 40:30:30 split is fair.

Maybe that is the best way to go. I actually think everyone would be happy with that and at least there’s logical reasoning behind it. It’s not quite as unfair on my sister as she isn’t having to pay 50%, but she is paying a bit more to reflect the fact she has a larger family.

Detroit wrote: »

I don't think the additional cost for it being school holidays should factor. You're paying extra for peak time, not because your sister has school age kids. If you continue to holiday as a family in years to come, you'll be in the same situation.

I completely agree it doesn't come into it. Although we would never choose to holiday at peak time if we weren't going with school-age children, I'd rather pay this premium and go with family.

Detroit wrote: »

Food is trickier as you'll no doubt eat as an extended family if you're self catering. I don't think there's any way of equitably proportioning this without seeming petty. If you went for meals at each other's houses you wouldn't feel it unfair that you had to feed five when they came to you, while they only feed three when you visit them, and it's a similar thing.

I'd never even thought of this! I'll have to start charging them when they come for dinner. Can anyone suggest a fair amount for the extra 3 Sunday dinners they eat at mine? :rotfl:

Detroit wrote: »

I hope you manage to reach a solution you're all happy with, as being part of an extended family close enough to want to holiday together is a special thing. You're fortunate.

I know we are lucky to have a close family - which is why I want to come up with a suggestion that no one feels hard done by as we want our daughter to grow up close to her cousins and we don't see them as often as we'd like as we live quite far away.

Marvel1

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Divide the total cost by 10. So you pay 3 parts, your sister 5 parts and your parents 2. That seems fairest to me.

This, your sister's choice to have more kids, they pay for them.

pearl123

Just split it equally between families, unless someone is on a low income. The adjust it so the the better off family pays more.

cyantist

pearl123 wrote: »

Just split it equally between families, unless someone is on a low income. The adjust it so the the better off family pays more.

None of us are on what you'd class a low income, but a higher income doesn't necessarily mean a family is better off anyway

ognum

OP, I think it is clear from the replies that there is not a right answer, just many answers.

Do what you and your sister think is right and move on.

Savvy_Sue

ognum wrote: »

OP, I think it is clear from the replies that there is not a right answer, just many answers.

Do what you and your sister think is right and move on.

I think the OP's sister said to do what the OP thought best, so the way forward for the accommodation is probably to say to her "How about this?" and get her agreement. Then, when Mum puts her oar in and says "oh but it isn't really fair for sister to pay more than you" the answer is there: "sister has agreed this. If you want to arrange the holiday next year be my guest" or words to that effect ...

As for the shopping, it might be worth drawing up a shopping list in advance, possibly even with a view to getting it delivered once you're there. That way you know you've got everyone's favourite cereal etc. And you haven't got to trail round a strange supermarket. But you can also assess, against your normal food shopping bills, what those costs are going to look like.

melanzana

Firstly I hope you all have a nice holiday. BUT I have to chime in and say this issue about sharing the cost is probably not the best omen for a big family holiday!

How will you share meals out for example and other common expenses. It won't stop at just the accommodation.

When our family went away together we never stayed in one place all together, it would be hell on earth for all of us believe me, even though we get on great. So we all booked our own accommodation within metres of each other. Worked great.

If it were me (which it wouldn't, as I cannot think of anything worse than sharing a house with family other than my own!) I would suggest a three way split. Simple.

Better get the restaurant and other issues agreed also whilst you are at it.

Tabbytabitha

happyandcontented wrote: »

I agree with whoever said it should be split by family units. Three family units so you all pay a third, that seems the fairest way to do it to me.

With food you go to the supermarket when you arrive and you each take a trolley and buy what your own family likes. Common godds such as tbags, toilet roll, etc, you have a kitty. Trips out/attractions you each pay for your own family.

As for your question re children and bedtimes. We used to let ours stay up later on holiday or if they were young enough we let them sleep in a lie back pushchair. When we went back to the room we would put them to bed and sit on the balcony with a glass of wine. We didn't use baby listening services we had them with us or we took a bottle of wine back with us and chilled on the balcony.

cyantist wrote: »

Thanks! Seems like it's certainly doable as a couple, not quite so easy if you're wanting to socialise in a group on an evening but not impossible.

Thanks for this idea! Just having a very quick look for similar location/style/facilities but smaller places, and it’s more expensive for somewhere to fit 10 people, than for 3 smaller separate places. I guess this isn’t surprising as there are so many 1/2/3 bed places available and not as many 4/5 bed ones. But of the total cost of 3 smaller places, 42% of that cost would be for the 2/3 bedroom place with 29% for the 1 bedroom places. Somewhere with 2 bedrooms isn’t double the cost of somewhere with 1 bedroom.
That would suggest a 40:30:30 split is fair.

Maybe that is the best way to go. I actually think everyone would be happy with that and at least there’s logical reasoning behind it. It’s not quite as unfair on my sister as she isn’t having to pay 50%, but she is paying a bit more to reflect the fact she has a larger family.

I completely agree it doesn't come into it. Although we would never choose to holiday at peak time if we weren't going with school-age children, I'd rather pay this premium and go with family.

I'd never even thought of this! I'll have to start charging them when they come for dinner. Can anyone suggest a fair amount for the extra 3 Sunday dinners they eat at mine? :rotfl:

I know we are lucky to have a close family - which is why I want to come up with a suggestion that no one feels hard done by as we want our daughter to grow up close to her cousins and we don't see them as often as we'd like as we live quite far away.

Given your price comparisons, I'd book separate units in the same complex another time and avoid all these problems - that way you can pop in and out of each others' apartments/chalets but still have some privacy when you want. I can't really see the point of all having to share the same living space etc if it's actually going to cost you more to do so!

maman

I've been on lots of similar holidays with extended family.

First, you've already made the choice to go in school holidays and you can't avoid large accommodation so I don't think that should come into it.

In our case it was ferry and car to France and then the cost of the house and food. Everyone paid for their own transport so some who shared cars paid less but that was our choice. At the house we charged half price for children as they definitely eat less than adults but also the adults were having drinks when the children were in bed so hardly fair to charge them full price.
When we went out on excursions or for meals as the whole group we had a kitty. If couples went out on their own they spent their own money.

At home, we do like to treat our children and especially our grandchildren whenever we can. Is it possible that your parents would pay for all the grandchildren?

cyantist

Like maman, we’re staying in a large house. There are smaller ones relatively nearby that I’ve used for price comparisons but they are several miles apart so you couldn’t just pop between accommodation. We want to be able to eat together and in 3 smaller places there wouldn’t be space for 10 people to eat together in any of them. Also we want to be able to socialise in the evenings. This would be hard if someone had to stay in our accommodation with my daughter once she goes to bed, and someone else had to stay in my sister’s accommodation with their children.
I’d actually prefer to spend all the time with my family – even if it costs a bit more (and we are talking about maybe £10 a day more total - not hundreds!).

There's not really an issue. I know my sister will pay whatever I suggest and probably just be happy she gets a family holiday and that she hasn't had to book it! I just want to make sure what I'm asking isn't unreasonable for anyone going.

We will definitely discuss food and other cost splitting in advance.

Maman - I'm sure my parents will want to treat the kids when we're there, but I wouldn't expect them to pay more towards it in general. Can I ask how you paid into the kitty? Was it children charged as half adult as well?