Splitting family holiday costs

silvercar

It's a family holiday. You are all benefiting by each other's company.

3 family units. Split it 3 ways.

cyantist

theoretica wrote: »

If your mum is offering to subsidise your sister that is very kind of her. If she expects you to do so it is not her call. If you paid for 3/10 and sister and mum 3.5/10 each would everyone be happy?

I think she sees nothing wrong in us subsidising my sisters costs. She doesn't even see it as us subsidising her - it's just fair if all adults pay the same regardless of family size.

silvercar wrote: »

It's a family holiday. You are all benefiting by each other's company.

3 family units. Split it 3 ways.

Does that go for everything when you're there as well? Food split evenly 3 ways? Excursions and entry to attractions? It's going to end up a lot more expensive for my parents and me if that's the case. I can't really afford that! It's already costing about 40% as much for us to go away during the school holidays than if we could have gone at a different time. Now I agreed to that and it's fine because I do want to go away with my sister and her family, but I can't afford to increase our entire spending money by 50% because I'm paying everything for a child that's not mine :-(

seven-day-weekend

If each family unit pays for their own food and attractions it would make life a lot easier and imio fairer.

Red-Squirrel_2

cyantist wrote: »

I think she sees nothing wrong in us subsidising my sisters costs. She doesn't even see it as us subsidising her - it's just fair if all adults pay the same regardless of family size.



Does that go for everything when you're there as well? Food split evenly 3 ways? Excursions and entry to attractions? It's going to end up a lot more expensive for my parents and me if that's the case. I can't really afford that! It's already costing about 40% as much for us to go away during the school holidays than if we could have gone at a different time. Now I agreed to that and it's fine because I do want to go away with my sister and her family, but I can't afford to increase our entire spending money by 50% because I'm paying everything for a child that's not mine :-(

Seems like you had a pretty good idea what you wanted the answers to be before you posted then.

Spendless

cyantist wrote: »

Does that go for everything when you're there as well? Food split evenly 3 ways? Excursions and entry to attractions? It's going to end up a lot more expensive for my parents and me if that's the case. I can't really afford that! It's already costing about 40% as much for us to go away during the school holidays than if we could have gone at a different time. Now I agreed to that and it's fine because I do want to go away with my sister and her family, but I can't afford to increase our entire spending money by 50% because I'm paying everything for a child that's not mine :-(

Why does all costs have to be split 3 ways just because the accommodation is? I don't understand.

Years ago, my husband took our son and 2 friends to a gaming convention abroad. Each paid their own ticket, but then there were other costs like toll charges, accommodation, food etc.

Each 'element' was divided a different way to what we thought the fairest way was for that part. It wasn't a case of 'well we've divided by x for that so we'll have to divide by exactly the same number for something else'

hazyjo

I would have just gone all inclusive and paid for hotel rooms. Uneven splits result in resentment by one party. Going to be a nightmare eating out and at mealtimes indoors, especially if one party drinks more (or more expensive drinks) than another.

Not much help to you now, but maybe to someone else reading the thread.

cyantist

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Seems like you had a pretty good idea what you wanted the answers to be before you posted then.

In terms of accommodation it actually makes very little difference to us. Split it by couple going and we pay 33%, split by exact number of people and we pay 30%. It's only if we paid by room that we'd be much better off, and I personally don't think this is the fairest way. So I'm not just looking for the cheapest option for me!
I can see any of the ways of splitting could be argued is fair, but the argument that someone should pay more just because they are getting someone else's company seems strange. If that was the case surely you could justify splitting everything (food, days out etc) by family unit for the same reason

cyantist

hazyjo wrote: »

I would have just gone all inclusive and paid for hotel rooms. Uneven splits result in resentment by one party. Going to be a nightmare eating out and at mealtimes indoors, especially if one party drinks more (or more expensive drinks) than another.

Not much help to you now, but maybe to someone else reading the thread.

In some ways this would have been a lot easier. But none of us could afford an all inclusive holiday during the school holidays. Also, I'm not sure how easy that is when 3 out of 4 children are in bed by ~8 and after that at least one of you can't the leave the hotel room! Actually this is something I'd be genuinely interested to know about as I'm not sure how anyone with young children manages!

happyandcontented

cyantist wrote: »

In some ways this would have been a lot easier. But none of us could afford an all inclusive holiday during the school holidays. Also, I'm not sure how easy that is when 3 out of 4 children are in bed by ~8 and after that at least one of you can't the leave the hotel room! Actually this is something I'd be genuinely interested to know about as I'm not sure how anyone with young children manages!

I agree with whoever said it should be split by family units. Three family units so you all pay a third, that seems the fairest way to do it to me.

With food you go to the supermarket when you arrive and you each take a trolley and buy what your own family likes. Common godds such as tbags, toilet roll, etc, you have a kitty. Trips out/attractions you each pay for your own family.

As for your question re children and bedtimes. We used to let ours stay up later on holiday or if they were young enough we let them sleep in a lie back pushchair. When we went back to the room we would put them to bed and sit on the balcony with a glass of wine. We didn't use baby listening services we had them with us or we took a bottle of wine back with us and chilled on the balcony.

Detroit

Is it possible to get an idea of the cost had you each had separate holidays in similar standard accommodation and use this as a start point?
So, your family unit and your parents would each be looking at the cost of a one bed property, your sister a two or three bed.

I guess that would look pretty much like paying per room, as has already been mentioned, so maybe that's the fairest.

I don't think the additional cost for it being school holidays should factor. You're paying extra for peak time, not because your sister has school age kids. If you continue to holiday as a family in years to come, you'll be in the same situation.

I also don't think entertainment costs should be split. Every family unit would be better paying for themselves.

Food is trickier as you'll no doubt eat as an extended family if you're self catering. I don't think there's any way of equitably proportioning this without seeming petty. If you went for meals at each other's houses you wouldn't feel it unfair that you had to feed five when they came to you, while they only feed three when you visit them, and it's a similar thing.

I hope you manage to reach a solution you're all happy with, as being part of an extended family close enough to want to holiday together is a special thing. You're fortunate.