Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it 25 January 2018 at 8:49PM edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Over 50s Money Saving 1.1K replies 194K views

Dymphna60

H - nothing I can say except so sorry to hear of your loss.
Of course you are in shock . Even if expected it still is shocking.
If you have people around you let them care for you . Try to drink and eat a little .
Accept the love from those that care for you even if the words are clumsy.

aitch9

sheilavw & Dymphna60. Thank you for your thoughts and advice. It is appreciated.


I had prepared a fairly lengthy message, which was maybe self indulgent of me, but it disappeared when I tried to submit, so a lesson learned there.


I don't have the heart to re-do it right now, so suffice to say the timing was totally unexpected, and my children are being great.


Hx

sheilavw

Wish I could offer more advice. Looking back it was all a blur, visitors, arrangements.
I did have counselling at the local hospice which helped a little. After my sessions finished they offered me complimentary therapies, once a month, I have had 3 and one booked for mid january also at the hospice. Take your time with things. x

Buggins

Bump...just because it may be needed.

Skibunny40

Agreed, happyandcontented. 
Buggins, good idea to bump the thread - I'm sure there are many who would benefit from it

PennyForThem_2

I find the title self-satisfied and arrogant.  And we really need to come to terms with death because it is happening with Corvid-19.  Our culture is very uncomfortable with describing it factually and also discussing with children/partners what those at risk of dying wishes are.  

Buggins

Maybe a change of title then but many people are looking for some support especially at the moment - it helped me no end a few years ago when I felt so isolated and lost.

Dymphna60

Please keep the thread available. 

Although I was not part of the original  ‘group’ . I too took support and comfort from it when my partner died in 2018 . 

@ PennyFor Them - not really sure where talking about death with family conflicts with this thread ? 

Before my partner took his life he knew he was dying ( the reason he did as he did ) . We had many a what I want , don’t want , When I am dead conversations . Conversations I also had with my dying father , conversations I have had with my own children. 
None of them meant that I wasn’t lost and terribly lonely with the reality of knowing I would never see or speak to my partner again. 

If a tiny shrewd of comfort is gained by one person accessing this thread it is very worth while . 

PennyForThem_2

I agree for a lot of ppl this seems to be a helpful thread (though for me it got way too gossipy - but that is me).  Also (lol) the title is not gender neutral - widow - widower......

(TBH my main beef was the attitude of the very original poster - not the originator of this revamped thread - so mea culpa)

itsanne

Bumping this thread as it's a particularly difficult time of year for many.