Birthday party donation

need_an_answer

cjdavies wrote: »

I can see it now in future birthday parties for children, invite school friends and ask for a contribution to the party :rotfl:

you may jest,however without wishing to take the thread off topic I have been in the position where the childs birthday party invite arrived with a list of "suggested presents/donations of cash.

I wouldn't have minded too much as actually it would have been nice to buy something that perhaps the 10 year old would have liked,however the list was items connected to the redecoration of their room as specified by the mother and what child would want their friends to buy "plum beautiful" paint as a truly meaningful gift!

other options were from memory the duvet cover complete with instructions of what shops stocked it and if we felt nothing was an "inspirational" gift then cash was also mentioned

for those that are interested I sent a book token for something to line the bookshelf.

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

I think the point is that we don’t know the background and the OP hasn’t been back to update us.

There may be a valid reason for asking (and it is voluntary) for payment but there is this huge condemnation “I wouldn’t go” “rude and presumptuous” without any knowledge of why or thought for the person whose birthday it is.

And the same goes for saying:

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

Wasn't going to post here but have to say I find it horrendously funny at some of the penny pinching mean spiritedness of some of the response.

#JustSayin'

AylesburyDuck

Much more info needed before an informed opinion can be made.
Whos organised the party? (Ie not the Birthday person)
Where? (maybe contribution to hall hire)
Is it a surprise party?
Is it only monetary contribution or can you contribute to food/booze stockpile.

Personally it wouldnt bother me in the slightest, usually first thing that comes out of my mouth when invited to partys is how can i contribute, shall i bring food/booze ect.
If they want nothing then grand, if they do then thats grand too thats how familys and friendships work!

Pollycat

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

Much more info needed before an informed opinion can be made.
Whos organised the party? (Ie not the Birthday person)
Where? (maybe contribution to hall hire)
Is it a surprise party?
Is it only monetary contribution or can you contribute to food/booze stockpile.

Personally it wouldnt bother me in the slightest, usually first thing that comes out of my mouth when invited to partys is how can i contribute, shall i bring food/booze ect.
If they want nothing then grand, if they do then thats grand too thats how familys and friendships work!

I wouldn't dream of going to a party empty-handed.
But the idea of being invited to a party and then at a later date being asked to 'voluntarily contribute' comes across - at least to me - as rude.

However, I would find nothing wrong in being involved in discussions about arrangements for a party - venues, food etc - and being asked to chip in with money, food or drink before the invitations go out.
I would happily contribute.
Or - if at the time of the invitation, I was asked to contribute money, food or drink - I'd find that perfectly acceptable too.
Neither of the above is how it's happened - and it's that timing of the request for money that I have an issue with.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

Neither of the above is how it's happened - and it's that timing of the request for money that I have an issue with.

But, we don’t know the reason for the timing, how it was phrased and what sort of money we are talking about. And, it is voluntary.

I agree the timing is not the best but there may be good reason and -again, most importantly, - there is someone whose birthday it is at the end of all this.

As ever, we have an OP who doesn’t seem to want to provide any more information so it is impossible to make a real judgement - either way.

Mr_Singleton

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

If they want nothing then grand, if they do then thats grand too thats how familys and friendships work!

What if they want a financial contribution?

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

But, we don’t know the reason for the timing, how it was phrased and what sort of money we are talking about. And, it is voluntary.

I agree the timing is not the best but there may be good reason and -again, most importantly, - there is someone whose birthday it is at the end of all this.

As ever, we have an OP who doesn’t seem to want to provide any more information so it is impossible to make a real judgement - either way.

We may not know the things in your first sentence.
But we do know the invitation came first and the request for 'voluntary contribution' later.

Snow_white wrote: »

My family and I were invited to a birthday party and are now being asked to pay a 'voluntary contribution' towards the party.

I would have expected that if there was a good reason for the request for 'voluntary contributions', it would have been explained at the time the OP was asked.
And if the reason was acceptable, she wouldn't have started the thread.
If she didn't find the reason acceptable, I'd have expected her to mention it in her posts.
But maybe my expectations are too high and I'm wrong.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

We may not know the things in your first sentence.
But we do know the invitation came first and the request for 'voluntary contribution' later.

I would have expected that if there was a good reason for the request for 'voluntary contributions', it would have been explained at the time the OP was asked.
And if the reason was acceptable, she wouldn't have started the thread.
If she didn't find the reason acceptable, I'd have expected her to mention it in her posts.
But maybe my expectations are too high and I'm wrong.

To be honest, on this forum what one person thinks is acceptable is anethma to someone else . We’ll probably never know what’s gone on. But, I’d always prefer to have an open rather than a closed mind until I know the full story!

You wrong, Pollycat. Never!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

To be honest, on this forum what one person thinks is acceptable is anethma to someone else . We’ll probably never know what’s gone on. But, I’d always prefer to have an open rather than a closed mind until I know the full story!

You wrong, Pollycat. Never!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I wasn't talking about the opinion of posters on someone else's problem - I do agree that there is always a vast chasm there.
I was referring to what the OP thought was acceptable as a reason for being asked - after the invitation was issued - for a voluntary contribution.
If the OP thought the reason was acceptable, I really do doubt that there would be a thread to be debating.
Acceptable reason for being asked for voluntary contribution towards the party = no reason to post.

Spendless

cjdavies wrote: »

I can see it now in future birthday parties for children, invite school friends and ask for a contribution to the party :rotfl:

Over the years I've been here I recall two threads about this.

The first, the woman decided not to go. For some reason we'd started talking via pm (the thread probably got heated )and I ended up asking her how the invite had been worded. Turns out the invite hadn't said a word about payment. The woman receiving it had asked 'how much is it?' and got the answer £x per head. I suggested that the person sending it thought she was asking a general question perhaps because she was interested in having her own child's there. Woman who received it then felt awful, thinking this was possibly the case and she'd misinterpreted.

With the above in mind, the second time years later, when the same subject came up again with a different poster, I queried how they knew and just got 'sarky' replies despite my many explanations that I was trying to help because of the previous woman whose child had missed out possible over a mis-understanding.

And for that reason if the subject comes up again, I'm out.

(And I know it's off-topic) but we are still waiting for the OP to come back and update with more info)