Separation - Who gets Tax Credits and Child Benefits

Jayestan08

Hi,

So me and my partner have been very rocky for the past few months and we have finally split. We have 2 gorgeous boys together, aged 3 1/2, and 1.

My partner (Dad) has been looking after the boys at home while I am at work. I have had sole financial responsibility for all 3 of them since DS1 was 5 months old.

I have always done the morning routines, taken them to nursery, picked them up for nursery, and put them to bed (2 or 3 days a week we'll either put them to bed together, or he will by himself), and then he cares for them from 8.30 - just before 6 while I am at work.

Now that we've split he wants to move out and take the boys with him full time. I am arguing this with him as we always agreed that I would have them at home every night and morning, and then he will come and pick them up. I will carry on doing the morning routines and night routines, and take them to and from nursery/school (starting in September).

He wants to have the boys so that the council will give him a 2 bedroom house and he can live on benefits until they are both in school.

I have worked everyday so that they can live a good life in a nice house. I don't want everything to change for them and I don't want to only see them 2 days a week. I am going to look for another job so that I can work at home more or work nights some days. I don't want everything to change for them on top of me and their dad not being together any more.

Sorry for the rant...basically is it right for him to take the benefits on the basis that he will be caring for them in the day? I will not be letting them go off and living 100% on benefits without putting up a fight, but I just want to see who has the rights to them.

Comms69

Jayestan08 wrote: »

Hi,

So me and my partner have been very rocky for the past few months and we have finally split. We have 2 gorgeous boys together, aged 3 1/2, and 1.

My partner (Dad) has been looking after the boys at home while I am at work. I have had sole financial responsibility for all 3 of them since DS1 was 5 months old.

I have always done the morning routines, taken them to nursery, picked them up for nursery, and put them to bed (2 or 3 days a week we'll either put them to bed together, or he will by himself), and then he cares for them from 8.30 - just before 6 while I am at work.

Now that we've split he wants to move out and take the boys with him full time. I am arguing this with him as we always agreed that I would have them at home every night and morning, and then he will come and pick them up. I will carry on doing the morning routines and night routines, and take them to and from nursery/school (starting in September).

He wants to have the boys so that the council will give him a 2 bedroom house and he can live on benefits until they are both in school.

I have worked everyday so that they can live a good life in a nice house. I don't want everything to change for them and I don't want to only see them 2 days a week. I am going to look for another job so that I can work at home more or work nights some days. I don't want everything to change for them on top of me and their dad not being together any more.

Sorry for the rant...basically is it right for him to take the benefits on the basis that he will be caring for them in the day? I will not be letting them go off and living 100% on benefits without putting up a fight, but I just want to see who has the rights to them.

Well it seems he's the primary care giver, so I see no reason why he shouldn't stay, and you move out.

Caz3121

Jayestan08 wrote: »

I have had sole financial responsibility for all 3 of them since DS1 was 5 months old.
I assume you are a high earner if you do no currently receive child benefit / tax credits - is that correct?

He wants to have the boys so that the council will give him a 2 bedroom house and he can live on benefits until they are both in school.
Are there many empty council properties in your area? if not they could end up in B&B or temp accommodation.


basically is it right for him to take the benefits on the basis that he will be caring for them in the day? I will not be letting them go off and living 100% on benefits without putting up a fight, but I just want to see who has the rights to them.

They would not be 100% on benefits as there would be child maintenance also
If he is not able to claim benefits then he may not be able to continue provide full time childcare as would need to find a job so you would have those costs
What is the situation with your current property? owned/rented?
Have you discussed maybe claiming for one child each?

Jayestan08

Hello,

Thank you for the quick replies

I will be getting a job where I can work from home and be with the children at least 2 days a week, and they go to nursery 1 day a week.

He does not want to stay in our house. It is a rental and he won't be able to pay the rent. He wants a house from the council.

I always take time off or bring them into the office if needed as I primarily work alone in the office. When DS1 was first born I worked a night job so that I would be there all day with them.

I really don't want my children living off benefits and scraping by, as well as having to leave their nursery and the home that they know.

Jayestan08

Caz3121 wrote: »

They would not be 100% on benefits as there would be child maintenance also
If he is not able to claim benefits then he may not be able to continue provide full time childcare as would need to find a job so you would have those costs
What is the situation with your current property? owned/rented?
Have you discussed maybe claiming for one child each?

He currently has no interest in finding a job. I would of course pay maintenance etc. I don't really know how all of that works tbh.
We are in a 2 bedroom rental at the moment.
No he doesn't want to share the claim. He wants all of the benefits.
I really want him to go an find a job so that he can learn how to live in the real world but he just wants to go off with the children.
He has no concept of paying bills/finances etc. He's really bad with money management

Jayestan08

Sorry I missed your answers in blue. I am not a 'high-earner', I have tax credits and child benefits for both children at the moment. DS1 goes to nursery 2 days a week through the free childcare system, and I pay for DS2's fees, which are partially funded through the tax credits as well.

LilElvis

Would he even qualify for council accommodation as he would be making himself intentionally homeless? Even if he were to qualify he's unlikely to walk straight into a property, most likely a B&B first until one becomes available.

Jayestan08

This is my concern. They have a home.
I'm not kicking him out, but he wants to leave.
They could end up anywhere. I'm more than happy to have them with me, let him visit and have them whenever, and work from home/work nights, whatever to make sure that we are all looked after.

unforeseen

It would save you having to pay maintenance but let you claim off him


Cynical? Moi?

Folks this is no different to any other family breakup you see on here where the man gets crapped on by most posters. The only difference is that the sexes are reversed.

Mojisola

Jayestan08 wrote: »

My partner (Dad) has been looking after the boys at home while I am at work.

I have had sole financial responsibility for all 3 of them since DS1 was 5 months old.

This is a common pattern in families with little children.

When the parents separate, it's normal for the children to continue living with the main carer in the family home.

Cheeky_Monkey

OP - it's worth noting that an unmarried father has no legal rights to custody.