Separation - Who gets Tax Credits and Child Benefits

Comms69

jax0410 wrote: »

I think if you went to court, you would be seen as the main caregiver. Have you spoken to citizens advice? Or a lawyer? They’ll probably be able to give you more accurate advice

I don't see how. OP works 08:30-6, partner stays at home and looks after the house/ kids. Seems cut and dry to me

jax0410

He seems a very childish person, uprooting your kids and moving them away from their mother just so he can get a house and scrounge benefits so he can sit on his backside all day 😡 you may work through the day but you do that in order to provide financial support for your family and you have reliable childcare options in place. A court will not favour an unemployed, homeless father over the kids mother. I think you need to tell him to get a grip and talk to you when he grows up a bit

jax0410

Comms69 wrote: »

I don't see how. OP works 08:30-6, partner stays at home and looks after the house/ kids. Seems cut and dry to me

A working parent doesn’t mean they are not the primary caregiver!

Cheeky_Monkey

Comms69 wrote: »

That's just not true. Where did you get that from?

Yeah, the OP has corrected me

I just googled it and that's what came up but I didn't go further. If I had done, I would've found that they do if their name is on the birth certificate - shame on me

Comms69

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

Yeah, the OP has corrected me

I just googled it and that's what came up but I didn't go further. If I had done, I would've found that they do if their name is on the birth certificate - shame on me

No probs, it stems from the 'tradition' of naming the husband on the birth certificate (even if he's not the father...)

BorisThomson

jax0410 wrote: »

He seems a very childish person, uprooting your kids and moving them away from their mother just so he can get a house and scrounge benefits so he can sit on his backside all day 😡 you may work through the day but you do that in order to provide financial support for your family and you have reliable childcare options in place. A court will not favour an unemployed, homeless father over the kids mother. I think you need to tell him to get a grip and talk to you when he grows up a bit

Your bias is clouding your (very poor) advice.

Would you refer to a mother caring for three children as sitting on her backside all day?

Would you tell a mother moving out of the family home to grow up?

And courts do award custody to unemployed lone parents frequently. Many mothers stay at home until their children start school, and some of those claim benefits, there's nothing unusual about that at all.

Comms69

jax0410 wrote: »

A working parent doesn’t mean they are not the primary caregiver!

I agree, but being female doesn't mean they are either. (and no you didn't say that, but you did just make a blanket claim with no backing statement. Given the facts, the only difference between this and the thousands of other cases is gender)

Comms69

jax0410 wrote: »

He seems a very childish person, uprooting your kids and moving them away from their mother just so he can get a house and scrounge benefits so he can sit on his backside all day 😡 you may work through the day but you do that in order to provide financial support for your family and you have reliable childcare options in place. A court will not favour an unemployed, homeless father over the kids mother. I think you need to tell him to get a grip and talk to you when he grows up a bit

Reverse the genders and that is exactly what happens hundreds of times, every day.

Jayestan08

BorisThomson wrote: »

Your bias is clouding your (very poor) advice.

Would you refer to a mother caring for three children as sitting on her backside all day?

Would you tell a mother moving out of the family home to grow up?

And courts do award custody to unemployed lone parents frequently. Many mothers stay at home until their children start school, and some of those claim benefits, there's nothing unusual about that at all.

Thank you, he has regularly classed himself as a 'bum' for not working, however I always used the argument that a stay at home mum with a working partner cannot possibly be a 'bum'.
However his attitude over time has changed significantly. I won't get into it too much but he regularly classes staying at home with the children as 'wasting time that he could have spent working' and as 'holding him back in life'. I have regularly offered to leave work so that he can get a full time job however he has only applied for 4 jobs in the past 3 years.
His gender does not affect his role in our relationship, I am indifferent as to whether the mother or father looks after the children, however the attitude of the parents is very important, and his attitude over the past year in particular, has been very poor.

jax0410

If you read the post further up, he’s actually said that he doesn’t want to get a job until the kids are at school because he’ll be able to claim benefits and get a council house. That to me is poor behaviour and very childish - whether by a man or a woman! My advice is to speak to citizens advice or a lawyer.