Separation - Who gets Tax Credits and Child Benefits

Jayestan08 · 15 January 2018 at 1:52PM

unforeseen wrote: »

It would save you having to pay maintenance but let you claim off him

Cynical? Moi?

Folks this is no different to any other family breakup you see on here where the man gets crapped on by most posters. The only difference is that the sexes are reversed.

I don't understand sorry...
I have no problem paying maintenance etc, but I just want the best for my children! My ex wants to leave so that the council give him a house and he can live off benefits without having to work. There's no actual reason why he can't leave the children with me.
For the entire relationship he has complained about looking after the children, how he wants me to quit my job so that we can live on benefits together, and said that it's unfair that I'm working and he's not. But the reason that I worked nights is so that he could get a job. And then because he didn't like working (so he quit) we agreed that he would stay at home and get a P/T job, so that he didn't have the stress of a full time job. He hasn't applied for anything and has essentially lived off me for 3 years.
I am more than happy to support them if he does get his own place, but I want my children in a good home, good school and good area.
Anyway, my question is that if he did leave and have them in the day, and I have them in the morning/evening...who would the benefits go to?

Jayestan08 · 15 January 2018 at 1:53PM

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

OP - it's worth noting that an unmarried father has no legal rights to custody.

Yes they do, I made sure he's on the Birth Certificate so that we both have equal rights. Also I have no intention of keeping the children from him...we are both equal.

xylophone · 15 January 2018 at 2:11PM

I'm not kicking him out, but he wants to leave.

Then he finds a job, leaves the home, rents a place of his own and you come to an agreement about visiting rights and his maintenance payment for his children?

jax0410 · 15 January 2018 at 2:16PM

The person that the children live with full time (the primary caregiver) gets the benefits - so if they were living with you and your ex was only looking after them through the day, you would get the benefits! I think it gets more complicated when it comes to overnight stays although again if you have them at home the majority of the nights then you would still be eligible for the benefits. I don’t see what his issue is - the money would get spent on the kids anyway so it’s not like he’d be getting ‘free money’ as he seems to think since he would need to spend the money to put a roof over their head, clothes on their back and food in their bellies

Jayestan08 · 15 January 2018 at 2:18PM

xylophone wrote: »

Then he finds a job, leaves the home, rents a place of his own and you come to an agreement about visiting rights and his maintenance payment for his children?

He's not a fan of that answer...that was my initial argument with him (minus the maintenance). He doesn't want a job until both children are at school.

Jayestan08 · 15 January 2018 at 2:23PM

jax0410 wrote: »

The person that the children live with full time (the primary caregiver) gets the benefits - so if they were living with you and your ex was only looking after them through the day, you would get the benefits! I think it gets more complicated when it comes to overnight stays although again if you have them at home the majority of the nights then you would still be eligible for the benefits. I don’t see what his issue is - the money would get spent on the kids anyway so it’s not like he’d be getting ‘free money’ as he seems to think since he would need to spend the money to put a roof over their head, clothes on their back and food in their bellies

That is where my lack of knowledge comes in, as I think that the primary caregiver (in terms of TC & CB) is the person who spend the money on the children (housing, food, clothes, childcare etc) however he feels that it's the person who they are with during the day.

The TC and CB are currently spent on the things I mentioned above, and still would be if I had them in the morning and evening, as nothing would be changing financially. At the moment he has no expenses for the children, even throughout the day, as I also give money for days out etc.

jax0410 · 15 January 2018 at 2:34PM

I think if you went to court, you would be seen as the main caregiver. Have you spoken to citizens advice? Or a lawyer? They’ll probably be able to give you more accurate advice

Jayestan08 · 15 January 2018 at 2:39PM

I don't really want it to go to court or lawyers. I'm hoping we can just settle it between us.
It's just that his idea of the main caregiver is different to mine. Plus if he doesn't get the benefits he'll have to get a job which ruins his plans of being given a house.