Earthgirl's Final Battle

beanielou

earthgirl wrote: »

A very different 'lost weekend' here. I called round to my friends house as planned on Saturday morning- the one I was worried about - and I couldn't leave her. I can't post just how bad it was just incase anyone knows me in real life, but - wow - I was worried and called OH, he was amazing and looked after our kids so that I could be there for her all weekend and help her get a bit of rest. I got in touch with other friends and they took over on Sunday afternoon. I'll go back tomorrow, but she messaged that she was feeling a bit better today - I don't want to take over as that would be negative but I do have a basic duty as a human being to help her.

So everything just fell away. I spent £20 on food for her and family. I ate rubbish. I didn't exercise. I didn't see my children or OH. I didn't make any money on surveys, work for oh, I didn't clean or stick to the plan. I 'worked' all weekend and I hurt my back. But I feel ok because it was vital. One day I can explain to my kids that when you see a friend needing something you have - in my case time, energy and a little money- you give and you give with all your heart.

Today has been a funny day - important meeting this morning went well. Work was pretty good. I am giving myself a day to reflect and get back on track - no point me going off track totally with all my goals I need to be happy myself before I can give support to my family friends or at work.

What a great lesson to teach your children.
It costs nothing to be kind & to be the difference,

apple_muncher

Absolutely brilliant post. And the acknowledgement that you need to be happy in order to support other people.

Karmacat

Wow. Earthie, what an amazing post. Especially your last sentence "I am giving myself a day to reflect and get back on track - no point me going off track totally with all my goals I need to be happy myself before I can give support to my family friends or at work". You've suddenly found your own balance, triggered by your friend's distress. It sounds like your presence there might be described as lifesaving.

beanielou

Karmacat wrote: »

Wow. Earthie, what an amazing post. Especially your last sentence "I am giving myself a day to reflect and get back on track - no point me going off track totally with all my goals I need to be happy myself before I can give support to my family friends or at work". You've suddenly found your own balance, triggered by your friend's distress. It sounds like your presence there might be described as lifesaving.

This too

earthgirl

Thanks for the comments and yes it is a good lesson in kindness for my kids. I have been round a further few times to help and she seems to be having some good days and some bad days - but at least there are good days now. Not sure about life saving! but life changing for sure which is a lovely thing to have been able to do. She says it is a motivator and keeps her positive instead of wishing it was all over (not a suicide risk, I checked that). I wonder how many more mums feel this overwhelmed and don't let others know?

I'm ahead with my cleaning rota which normally means I am not doing what I should be doing elsewhere!! I will go an make a list of little to do's and also revisit my goals list and pick of a few for the rest of the week.

earthgirl

Health!
Beat Sugar addiction -Get back on track - a few biscuits have creeped back in these past few days. I was so proud of myself for not craving anymore
Reduce sugar intake for family - review with them
Continue healthy diet and hydration started in 2018 - Pack healthy food and water
Regular yoga and meditation (me and kids) - restart
Regular strength exercise - restart
10000 steps per day -restart walk every lunch time, charity shops and job spotter
Regular beach walks - sat and sun -pick up litter

Joy
Travel trips planned for 2019 -book pdf trip
Continue to plan experiences for 2020- no action
Kids continue to play football - no action
Kids continue to see friends and family regularly - continue to organise playdates
Family time together every week - re-establish tues and sunday games night
clean and tidy environment home - maintain cleaning schedule
Clean and Tidy work - focus on marking and filing

Achieving
Achievable Budget in place incl income goals -envelope system
finances in order - complete banking swap- sort childrens regualr savers
Income goal set and strategies in place - maintain surveying habit, maintain work on OHs business.
Moving fund in case of having to move catchment areas - no action needed
Daily routine is simple and achieveable -'set and forget' more things!-

Responsible
Do more to help the Environment - pick up litter walks, maintain new higher level of recycling habit
Do more to help the community - shop in charity shops, help others
Children to become more responsible for themselves - be firm with expectations
Children being more responsible for their things - no action
restart daily planner ticking off habit

apple_muncher

earthgirl wrote: »

I'm ahead with my cleaning rota

No danger of this happening here :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

earthgirl

I am visiting my mum this weekend. Eating is going ok - mum baked lots of yummy things but I'm trying to be good... I've exercised each day at the green gym in the park here whilst the kids played football. It's been great. We have one more day here - thinking a museum trip - and then home tomorrow night.

I've rewritten my to do list and I have now added a garden project as I should hopefully be out in the veg patch soon. The only thing I am a little worried about is finding the time to do it -our weekends have been freezing and rainy or sleety and it's no fun gardening when its like that. Fingers crossed for some good weather! We now have a freezer though, so if I plan carefully I should be able to keep more produce for winter.

I've decided to rejig things a little to give me time to work on the garden. Instead of working on spanish/reading a discussing a particular book about self esteem/self defence practise/chess with the children on Saturday I will do it with each child individually whilst the other one is out at an activity in the week (tuesday and wednesday). Individual time is good and I'd like to talk to the eldest about internet safety and cyber bullying, so this would be an ideal time.

This leaves saturday morning free - if its nice weather- for them to have a friend to play in the garden whilst I do the veg patch. In the afternoon we can go swimming and to the astro pitch.

Sorry useless information - just getting my thoughts down!

apple_muncher

That sounds like a really good re-jigging of what you already do.

Needhelpsaving

It's always nice to hear people's plan's and thoughts x

We have started to talk to DD1 (almost 6) about the internet/strangers after the school done a piece in assembly about this (and DD1 had lot's of questions). Part of me found it heart breaking explaining the dangers of people she may meet both in RL and online, but I also recognise that it was necessary.

Whilst she has very restricted access to the internet, at some point, this scope will widen, and she will need to be prepared. Hope your talk with DS1 goes well.