Earthgirl's Final Battle

beanielou

I also agree that you are way to hard of yourself.

TallGirl

More of a lurker but totally don't need to be supermum look after yourself don't try and do everything. You have an OH get him to do more and only question if his business isn't viable why are you still working on it? Surely his time is enough on it for now gives you more time to do other things. Don't feel guilty about the holidays need something to look forward to during the cold winter months totally agree. Keep up the good work but cut yourself some slack.

earthgirl

Hi Tallgirl!! and thanks karma, beanie and wannabe.

I have been thinking about what you have all said, and my friends also joke about me being supermum and setting my own bar too high. I don't really know how to unset it though. A lot of my friends are either stay at home mums (oh and I both had stay at home mums) and I thought I can be a 'stay at home mum' and work if I put lots of effort in when the kids sleep/don't need me. I guess the answer is still to do it all and enjoy the time with the kids (they won't want to be around me so much soon!), but don't be hard on myself if I don't do everything.

Tallgirl, OHs business is a tricky one for us as a couple. He has decided not to completely cease trading, and hopes with limited costs he can run the business at a small profit, with projected increases in revenue and profit when the economic climate improves, whilst maintaining a good position in the market place. I am spending 20 mins per day doing the basic marketing tasks for him. We have discussed me 'training him' and handing over all of my tasks to him which is probably going to happen around March time.

In the meantime, he thinks he might have found casual work which is brilliant news, hope it comes off.

WannabeFree

I think it's amazing what you do with the boys EG, and with everything else. If that's what you want to do and that makes you happy you shouldn't change. However if something gets missed out, or can't be achieved one day/week don't be hard on yourself. There is only one of you.

Fingers crossed for the work for DH

x

TallGirl

earthgirl wrote: »

Tallgirl, OHs business is a tricky one for us as a couple. He has decided not to completely cease trading, and hopes with limited costs he can run the business at a small profit, with projected increases in revenue and profit when the economic climate improves, whilst maintaining a good position in the market place. I am spending 20 mins per day doing the basic marketing tasks for him. We have discussed me 'training him' and handing over all of my tasks to him which is probably going to happen around March time.

In the meantime, he thinks he might have found casual work which is brilliant news, hope it comes off.

I'm glad it's not more I just remember you getting up really early to fit this work in and then feeling awful when you hadn't managed it. Yes sounds like he can learn to do it himself and excellent if he gets some casual work. You are a team it's not just down to you to do everything, if you burn out it would all fall on him and could he would he be able to replace you? I don't think so. You are right the boys might not want you around when they get older but that doesn't mean you have you keep up to the level of the stay at home mums.

earthgirl

Thanks tallgirl, yes you remember right I was always trying to fit too much in, now I'm trying to get rid of things!

We had a few relatives over on Sunday and it didn't go well. OH and I didnt get on very well as I don't enjoy cooking for entertaining iyswim.
I have just found a couple of easy starter ideas that I can throw together for next time:

Proscutio (sp) and melon
apple and cheese (goat/brie?) bruscetta
tomato mozerella salad
and just get some of those pre cooked dinner rolls

Slowcooker something for main course - if casual spag bol or chicken/pork shoulder/ veg dish, roast veg and potatos

Cheap pudding for dessert - pineapple cake (love this) or microwave chocolate fudge cake - both can be prepped in advance. Not sugar free but ok for a treat.

I am determined that oh and I can do it without falling out and spending hours at the sink! It didn't help that I was also meal prepping for the week and doing sugar free baking whilst cooking for 6. Trying to do too much, moi?

Karmacat

Thats the start of a good idea! But ... four options for a starter? You're not running a restaurant!


xx

earthgirl

Karmacat wrote: »

Thats the start of a good idea! But ... four options for a starter? You're not running a restaurant!


xx

No I'd just do 1 but in rotation! If they don't like it they can eat the bread roll. Only once have I had a person just ask for something else for a starter :mad: I gave them cheese and bread

WannabeFree

Hope everything is okay and you have a lovely weekend

x

earthgirl

So now that I have got rid of that angst, my actual non emotional response is how can I have it all? How can I stick up for myself / student whilst not looking like a complete rogue agent, turned by the enemy and running wild, and actually look like I am sensible and professional?

1. Make a list of all of the points that are dubious
2. clarify above points - really important
3. Decide anything I think I can't cope with/ is illegal
4. Raise concerns - fact only - following the chain of command.
5. Try not to get emotional as it doesn't help anyone.