Earthgirl's Final Battle

Karmacat

"With", not "for". Brilliant summary. Not to instil ambition, but to instil the deep sense of being loved. In your own words, earthie, "We need to give them our time and the benefit of lots of different experiences".
:j:j:j

Pooky

We went into debt to raise our daughters but not by lavish spending, private schools and lots of afterschool activities but simply by going down to one wage and me being at home with them from the day they were born. But it was a debt we were willing to take on for the benefit of raise nag them the way we wanted. They're both now out of education, working full time, one is buying her first flat at the age of 22 and both manage their money, run cars, spend wisely without a second thought.

One friend, who liked the "theme parks every week during the holidays" kind of life style once asked me if I wasn't worried that when the girls went back after the holidays they wouldn't have "lots of lovely days out to out in their holiday diaries". I pointed out that a picnic in the den they'd made in the garden, a bag of chips on the sea front or an hour at the park playing frisbee/catch/football with me was "a lovely day out to them" (and the point of holiday diaries isn't to impress the teacher but a comprehension exercise.

We've not done designer clothes and our furniture is mostly upcycle pieces that fit our home nicely. I don't drive so long walks were great for chatting about your day, the world around you and for just making up silly games. As the girls got older it was our house where all their friends wanted to hang out, it was me buying pregnancy tests for those friends who couldn't talk to their mums, it was us that took one lovely lad out for a family meal with us when he passed his exams as his parents had "forgotton" it was results day and gone on holiday.

I'm so very proud of our girls (don't get me wrong there have been tantrums and tears along the way) but I'm glad we opted for the life style choices we did.

apple_muncher

I have also read those posts on TOPM's thread earthgirl. Most interesting and thought-provoking. I was generally talking with a friend about how dh and I live on our income, and she said the best thing ever : you both live as simply as you can. Made me happy!

earthgirl

Thanks, there is a lot to be said for living simply. Happiness and health are the most important considerations.

I was a bit down yesterday as the have decided not to operate on my lovely FIL which is actually more his wish I think. He is such a lovely kind person and a very positive influence in our lives. He is hoping to be out of hospital soon. We facetimed yesterday which was good.

My excusrion yesterday was amazing - Dumfries House in East ayrshire. Would totally recommend it, the gardens were beautiful. Lots of it were free and you could pay to go in a maze £1 for adults, kids free. The walled gardens were £3 each so we just peeked through! A very cheap day out and everyone loved it.

Last night I had awful nightmares that felt so real. I had to get on a train to visit a friend, and I had bought tickets, but I couldn't find them and I felt so out of control and disorganised.

There are a few things I need to sort out so I am keeping an eye on my relaxation time. I need to realx but I need to get things done too, so that I can actually relax.

Submit meter reading
plan week incl meals
Double check childcare/ activities for next week
do student room tidy
put washing away
water plants

Karmacat

You poor thing! Hope you get to feel relaxed a bit later on - it's helped me to remember that the jobs **never** all get done. Odd but true ...

earthgirl

Pooky thank you for your lovely, detailed, honest reply thanks! :A

Have been mulling it all over, and I'm definitely happy if the kids and family are happy with simple pleasures.

You are so right about what you said to that other Mum btw! Go pooky!

earthgirl

Thanks karma. Had a pretty good day after all, taught for a couple of hours this morning and all jobs done.
Countryside walk with students, then tennis and swimming with them later. The open day was great, just petrol spent so about £10 for the afternoon out for all of us. And I've had all that exercise too!

Dh stayed at home to relax and he also put together ds1s new bike, he said it's great, phew! With £100 off, thought it might only have one wheel or something!

So I have still relaxed today but with more of an eye on my to do list. Having a big list isn't helpful to me. I need to identify a time that I could be more productive, get a list and go for it! I'm going to try more scheduling blocks of time like this, but with the caveat that if I am wanted/needed to play with the kids then it all gets done another day! And I also get to schedule relaxation ttime too of course!

There is no point in making a note of how I spend my time or anything because I'm in the middle of teaching and hosting students.

Tomorrow is quite a spend day as we might go to the cinema, it'll cost about £30 for us all to go but I've spent nothing in student outings so far except a little petrol and my kids really want to go so it'll be a nice treat. I'll take snacks.

Tomorrow's jobs
Stick to routine (water, exercise, plan day work on ohs business, breakfasts, teaching 3hours)
Schedule when I plan my day, incl tomorrow me for surveys
Contact company about leaving time for Chinese student

earthgirl

I haven't been sticking to my routine. We have been told that my FIL is about to have a massive heart attack imminently. He wants to come home from hospital so the family are trying to organise that but its stressful for everyone.

I haven't been sleeping great and I have been getting irritated by the students (although i haven't let on) I think I'm not as patient when I'm tired.

So it's not going to help my FIL or his family, or my OH and kids if I'm exhausted and not looking after myself, so I'm kick starting getting back on track now.

I've had a lovely cup of herbal tea with extra vitamins in. I'll have fruit in a minute. I'm going out for a walk this afternoon with the students but a friend is coming too which will take the pressure off me and be nice company. OH is cooking tea so I can get some jobs done.

- washing away
- vaccum
- clean bathrooms

I have done banking and I have been paid for my second set of students. I have now £2300 of my £5k target travel money saved.

I am going to stop the extra weekend teaching work when my contact finishes at the end of August. Its very tying and the childrens football matches are at a weekend.

Instead, I will focus on doing fun cheap or free things with the children, expanding their knowledge and experiences, and planning our trips.

I set myself the target of paying off the mortgage plus saving for travel which I have almost done, so a new target is needed. But first I need to get all kinds of back on track!

CathT

Sounds like the walk might help blow away some cobwebs and it is good for our thought processes.

Where is TOPMs thread? I have looked here and debtfree. Really interesting discussion about raising children and associated financial pressures.

beanielou

Sorry to hear the news about yout FIL.
Take care of you.