Greedy Sister!!

DavidF

All of these types of thread kind of makes you feel that heavy inheritance tax/death duties and selling the home after death to pay for any care home/carers fee's ect is not such a bad idea after all...at least then siblings could all be angry at the same organisation....The government.

Comms69

PerfectPony wrote: »

Yes, my degree was a waste of money,that's why I am a well paid Office Manager - You don't need a degree to be an office manager. dictating my own hours - I doubt that, you're an office manager, your hours are the hours of the office. You might have flexible working, which is not the same thing. after ten years away from the job market lol What an unnecessary ageist statement, scratches head and wonders what you do??? - Ageist? no, it's a fact. As an employer I would value your life experience, 32 years as an adult, over your ability to learn a topic to an agreed standard at an agreed timeframe (If you could do that, I would sack you anyway)

I really don't care what my sister used her money for - you care enough to mention it multiple times in this thread, I suspect you're jealous. , the whole problem stems from her coercing my Mum into this Life Interest Trust. I spent a lot of time with my Mum before she died and she was not happy with my sister. It was my sister who did the 'stomping off' being horrible to her. If you think that is acceptable behaviour I would check your moral compass!!

Check your own moral compass, you don't know why your mum changed her will, you assume she was coerced.

Margot123

People say a lot of contradictory things. We had a relative who said she 'hated x with a venom', then when she passed away left half her substantial estate to that individual.
On reading through her diaries, she actually felt a lot of affection for the person she said she 'hated'.

PerfectPony

I think of my Mum every day and want to as her opinion, tell her a joke, tell her about my son!

I am grieving, I am bitter.

However, I knew my Mum really well and she was the one most disappointed by my sister 'wasting her inheritance' - her words, not mine.

When you lose someone, you do sense your own mortality. When Mum inherited the house in question from my Grandparents, I told her to sell it buy a flash car and travel the world and enjoy her retirement. She didn't and was never happy in the house - it really hurt me to see her sad.

So the house does have some bad memories and yes, if the will hadn't been changed my sister could have bought a nice property and had cash in the bank.

My proudest achievement in my life is my son and my marriage. My son also lost out.

Am I wrong in thinking if things had stayed as they were I could enjoy the time I have left with my son and done some of the things with him I never had the chance to do with my Mum?

Shoot me if that makes me a bad person xx

Red-Squirrel_2

PerfectPony wrote: »

Am I wrong in thinking if things had stayed as they were I could enjoy the time I have left with my son and done some of the things with him I never had the chance to do with my Mum?

Sorry, but what is stopping you enjoying the 'time you have left' (bit dramatic!) with your son?

An inheritance is not necessary to enjoy your life, most people never get one!

You sound incredibly bitter, you sound like you believe that you have done things 'right' by getting married and having a child and that your sister has done things wrong by staying single, childfree and travelling, therefore you deserve financial reward from your mum and she doesn't. You really need to realise that these are just different choices, neither is more admirable or more deserving than the other.

Your mum made her will as she wished, you need to find a way to come to terms with that, and you need to get over your jealousy/sense of superiority towards your sister.

getmore4less

Margot123 wrote: »

People say a lot of contradictory things. We had a relative who said she 'hated x with a venom', then when she passed away left half her substantial estate to that individual.
On reading through her diaries, she actually felt a lot of affection for the person she said she 'hated'.

It is quite common for people to be multi faced.

If someone talks bad about others, when you are not there it will be you.

newjersey

When you lose someone you also get a sense of priorities, you have qualifications, a good job, a home, a husband, a son & I presume good health, that isn't a bad way to be !! I think you are crazy to waste a second of your valuable time on this earth getting worked up about what could have been or your obvious jealousy and/or hatred towards your sister. Let it go ! You don't even seem to be thinking straight, just like when people are in love same when they are in hate, it twists and distorts all logic until you drive yourself crazy, but only you have the power to get a grip of this.
Again more contradictions which shows your irrational take on this. You told your mother to splash her inheritance and go travel, she didn't choosing instead to stay in the house which she regretted and spent her life in sadness. You, for whatever reason, have a complete bee in your bonnet about your sister travelling, is this why, because it was something you and your mother deeply regret not doing ?
Not that any of this matters, degrees, travel, none of it. Are you intending on contesting the will ? If so on what grounds, lack of mental capacity and undue influence ? I don't know the legalities of all this but common sense tells me if a solicitor was happy to take instructions she must have been mentally fit. If you are intending to contest I guess you will need to speak to her doctor, as for undue influence, that is a pretty serious allegation to make against someone so I would advise careful consideration on that.
If your mother's will had been completely off the wall eg leaving her house to a man she had met just the day before you might have a stronger case but on the face of it ( regardless of what was said previously) her will makes sense, it's not an irrational one by any means.
You haven't been completely disinherited, you or your son will one day benefit from this will, just not yet. It's like you can't believe you almost had the money and then it was pulled away at the last second. Well the truth is, you never had the money, you haven't lost anything but one day in the future you will get something. You really shouldn't have had your hopes for this inheritance built up, now you have to just forget about it ( or take expensive, stressful legal action) concentrate on all the good you already have in your life, inheritances are NOT a right, and stop obsessing about your sister and start living in the now, do you want your son to remember you as you remember your mum, as sad ?

Margot123

I was disgusted that my Dad left 50% of his house to my 'layabout, drugged up, drop out Brother'. Who just happened to live in it and would not budge for months despite the will saying it had to be sold.

Learn from my experience, that no amount of lying awake at night, getting angry, asking why me?, and hatred, will make any difference to what has happened. I wish I knew that back then.

After a few short months of lolling about in the house, laughing at me (or so I imagined), he vanished overnight leaving debts behind. BUT he went........

My biggest issue now is trying to get him to accept the proceeds from the sale but I won't be losing any sleep over that one :-)

Pollycat

newjersey wrote: »

When you lose someone you also get a sense of priorities, you have qualifications, a good job, a home, a husband, a son & I presume good health, that isn't a bad way to be !! I think you are crazy to waste a second of your valuable time on this earth getting worked up about what could have been or your obvious jealousy and/or hatred towards your sister. Let it go ! You don't even seem to be thinking straight, just like when people are in love same when they are in hate, it twists and distorts all logic until you drive yourself crazy, but only you have the power to get a grip of this.
Again more contradictions which shows your irrational take on this. You told your mother to splash her inheritance and go travel, she didn't choosing instead to stay in the house which she regretted and spent her life in sadness. You, for whatever reason, have a complete bee in your bonnet about your sister travelling, is this why, because it was something you and your mother deeply regret not doing ?
Not that any of this matters, degrees, travel, none of it. Are you intending on contesting the will ? If so on what grounds, lack of mental capacity and undue influence ? I don't know the legalities of all this but common sense tells me if a solicitor was happy to take instructions she must have been mentally fit. If you are intending to contest I guess you will need to speak to her doctor, as for undue influence, that is a pretty serious allegation to make against someone so I would advise careful consideration on that.
If your mother's will had been completely off the wall eg leaving her house to a man she had met just the day before you might have a stronger case but on the face of it ( regardless of what was said previously) her will makes sense, it's not an irrational one by any means.
You haven't been completely disinherited, you or your son will one day benefit from this will, just not yet. It's like you can't believe you almost had the money and then it was pulled away at the last second. Well the truth is, you never had the money, you haven't lost anything but one day in the future you will get something. You really shouldn't have had your hopes for this inheritance built up, now you have to just forget about it ( or take expensive, stressful legal action) concentrate on all the good you already have in your life, inheritances are NOT a right, and stop obsessing about your sister and start living in the now, do you want your son to remember you as you remember your mum, as sad ?

Wise words.
And a pity more people don't bear those words in mind when counting their chickens before someone's died or after when they're considering contesting a will that isn't to their liking.

badmemory

You may very well be right that she was coerced, but I doubt very much that you will ever be able to prove it. What goes around comes around & those who do us wrong do in the end pay - even if it is a lot later than we would expect or hope it to be. If someone has done wrong there is no way to make them accept they have done wrong all you can do is stop them from damaging YOU as much as you can. I guess the nitty gritty is move on, you won't hurt her all you are hurting is you.