Greedy Sister!!

Malthusian

PerfectPony wrote: »

My Mum had promised a 50/50 split for over twenty years as can be verified from her earlier wills.

And then she changed her mind. Words are wind. The last Will is what matters and assuming that the Will was drawn up by a solicitor who would have assessed her mental capacity and properly witnessed, there is no reason in your posts to think that the Will is invalid. Obsessing over what you wanted your Mum to do or her previous Wills is only going to waste more of your mental energy.

I always find it odd when people say "My mum promised me such and such for 20 years". So every year you'd have a conversation and she'd say "Oh, by the way, I'm still leaving you the house" or you'd say "Just out of interest, have you changed your Will lately? No? Cool, love you mum"? That's not how most people interact. I suspect what people mean by "My mum promised me such and such for 20 years" is "My mum promised me such and such 20 years ago" but that doesn't sound as compelling.

If she had wanted my sister to have the property we would have discussed it, we spent ages discussing her funeral arrangements etc.

Funeral arrangements are easy. You were unlikely to get upset if she told you she wanted them to play Light My Fire or Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. The anger you are experiencing now may be the reason she didn't want to discuss her change to the Will with you.

Your sister doesn't have the property, she has a life interest for 20 years. After that, or her death or her abandoning the house, it presumably goes back to 50/50 as you wanted.

The first thing I said to my sister when my Mum passed was that I was happy to split the house 60/40 or even 70/30 as I already have a home.

Presumably she said no and that she prefers how your Mum wanted it, or you would be arranging a Deed of Variation.

How naive I was, I think Mum raised the Life Interest Trust to stop the arguments and keep the peace.

I think you are right. Would you not all be happier if you honoured that wish?

PerfectPony

My Mum had cancer a couple of years previously, so now it wasn't something said in passing 20 years ago. With regard to offering the property split, this was prior to any knowledge of the will being changed before Mum's death. So, no this wasn't discussed at length because I realised shortly afterwards about the late change of will.

As previously stated, my Mum would not look at my Mother before her death. My sister at one point stomped off exclaiming that I was 'still the favourite and why doesn't she look at me'??

So, if you realised you were ill and one sibling lived up the road and was threatening to 'not visit' over an argument about being 'cut off a photo blah, blah' and the other lived three hours away and had a young child, what would you do? I think I would 'bow to the pressure' and let the more convenient sibling have their way???

Would welcome you comments x

mum_of_joey

"My sister is a waster and spent our grandparents inheritance on a 'round the world trip', I spent mine of a degree?"

While I sympathise with you on the 'principle' of the arrangements regarding your mother's will, I would just like to bring up the above point. Your spending on a 'degree' is no more valid than your sister's 'round the world trip'. Why should you expect her to spend what is in effect is her own money on something that you consider 'worthy'? Perhaps a round the world trip is HER education? We are not all yearning to have academic success, you know. I would have had a round the world trip, also, and I'm not a 'waster'.

Some might say that getting a degree is a waste of money as it doesn't necessarily get you a better job or any experience of the 'real' world.

Just saying.

Comms69

Maybe mum thought: 1 daughter has a house, the other doesn't - I know i'll set this up so they both do.

PerfectPony

I agree a round the world trip is probably as educational as a degree, but not when you are nearly 50!!

Mojisola

PerfectPony wrote: »

I agree a round the world trip is probably as educational as a degree, but not when you are nearly 50!!

What's wrong with spending an inheritance on a once-in-a-lifetime trip just for pleasure?

Margot123

Going off topic and entering the realms of subjectivity?

Comms69

PerfectPony wrote: »

I agree a round the world trip is probably as educational as a degree, but not when you are nearly 50!!

Why do you get to judge how someone else spends their money??


They didn't borrow it from you, they don't owe you an explanation. I might agree in principle, in the sense that I wouldn't spend my money that way. But each to their own, stop being so judgmental

molerat

PerfectPony wrote: »

I agree a round the world trip is probably as educational as a degree, but not when you are nearly 50!!

IMO spending it on a degree at around 50 is a waste of money.

Comms69

molerat wrote: »

IMO spending it on a degree at around 50 is a waste of money.

Was thinking the same thing, but I can see it if it's a specialised subject.