Child care after separation / divorce

Kitty_Kat55

Having discussed this with a solicitor I have been informed that as we both have parental rights. As my eldest is at school the main issue is the one year old. What he is saying is that on his access days (Wed & Thurs) while my son is at school his partner will look after the baby while he works. At present he comes to my house and looks after them there while I stay away, I return every morning to do the school run and look after the baby until he gets home from work.
He clearly has to work so can't stay off. I am available all day so it is logical for me to have them. He is saying that in order to save on maintenance he will keep them for the full 48hours.
However, the solicitor has told me that as they will not be with someone with parental responsibility, and I am available then it is not acceptable. The fact that I put the baby in childcare on the days I work is acceptable as neither of us is available. I thought I would just let you know the outcome.

Comms69

Kitty_Kat55 wrote: »

Having discussed this with a solicitor I have been informed that as we both have parental rights. As my eldest is at school the main issue is the one year old. What he is saying is that on his access days (Wed & Thurs) while my son is at school his partner will look after the baby while he works. At present he comes to my house and looks after them there while I stay away, I return every morning to do the school run and look after the baby until he gets home from work.
He clearly has to work so can't stay off. I am available all day so it is logical for me to have them. He is saying that in order to save on maintenance he will keep them for the full 48hours.
However, the solicitor has told me that as they will not be with someone with parental responsibility, and I am available then it is not acceptable. The fact that I put the baby in childcare on the days I work is acceptable as neither of us is available. I thought I would just let you know the outcome.

But now you have the option of getting some part time work? Surely that's a bonus?


Your solicitor is wrong. Your eldest isn't with someone who has PR either... and neither is your youngest when in childcare.


Your outcome is just the opinion of someone you're paying.

Kitty_Kat55

Comms69 wrote: »

But now you have the option of getting some part time work? Surely that's a bonus?


Your solicitor is wrong. Your eldest isn't with someone who has PR either... and neither is your youngest when in childcare.


Your outcome is just the opinion of someone you're paying.

And your comment is just the opinion of a layperson who doesn't know all the facts.

When a child is at school it is with a recognised department who have the authority and responsibility to officially care for children.

As for the baby, yet again the child is with a registered body. The parental rules are that "When one parent with parental responsibility is available then the child should be in their care over and above any other party without official status.

I don't think working part time in another job is going to help me at all as I would be financially worse off.

Thanks for your advice.

Comms69

Kitty_Kat55 wrote: »

And your comment is just the opinion of a layperson who doesn't know all the facts. - I don't need to know all the facts to tell you that any parent can delegate their responsibility to anyone they choose. That includes partners, parents, colleagues and friends.

When a child is at school it is with a recognised department who have the authority and responsibility to officially care for children. - What you refer to is the school acting as in loco parents. It means ' in place of a parent' - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_loco_parentis look particualry at the second definition (Second, this doctrine can provide a non-biological parent to be given the legal rights and responsibilities of a biological parent if they have held themselves out as the parent)

As for the baby, yet again the child is with a registered body. The parental rules are that "When one parent with parental responsibility is available then the child should be in their care over and above any other party without official status." - where di you find these rules? Because it's a load of nonsense. Parents often drop kids off with grand parent to do any number of things.

I don't think working part time in another job is going to help me at all as I would be financially worse off. - you sure?, Don't remember the exact formula but as an example, for every £1 you earn, you lose 0.80p in tax credits.

Thanks for your advice.

I really would not take that as gospel from the solicitor, I have tried to search your quote and the only reasonably close result is to do with residence (that's full time residency with a non parent) and that is NOT what this is.

WorriedFriend2017

Outcome from all this - you should have gone to a solicitor in the first place. There has been some good advice here based on the info provided.

FBaby

However, the solicitor has told me that as they will not be with someone with parental responsibility, and I am available then it is not acceptable. The fact that I put the baby in childcare on the days I work is acceptable as neither of us is available. I thought I would just let you know the outcome.

Oh the words of an hungry solicitor who tells you exactly what you want to hear.... This is not an outcome at all but a suggested approach in court, very different.

So really it comes down to you not wanting to work and stay at home so she can't look after your child and him wanting her to do so so that he pays less in maintenance....

MataNui

Solicitors will tell you whatever makes them the most money. All they are telling you is they will drag things out and send lots and lots of letters (costing you a lot more money) based on whatever the hell you want to hear.

Its 100% BS. Parental responsibility has no bearing at all on child care. You are being told an absolute croc of !!!! by your solicitor. Get a new one because its clear this one just wants to fleece you. You can get a solicitor to write a 'legal' letter to anyone for anything. By 'legal' its just BS and lies with lots of legal terms. Its not the law, its not enforceable by anyone, its just crap.

where exactly did you get this from:
As for the baby, yet again the child is with a registered body. The parental rules are that "When one parent with parental responsibility is available then the child should be in their care over and above any other party without official status."

That would mean that there is a legal framework that determines what activity you are doing (work for example) is important and totally prohibits grandparents, older siblings, aunts/uncles etc from looking after the children if one of the parents isnt doing anything 'important' like work. You must know thats just rubbish?

Comms69

MataNui wrote: »

Solicitors will tell you whatever makes them the most money. All they are telling you is they will drag things out and send lots and lots of letters (costing you a lot more money) based on whatever the hell you want to hear.

Its 100% BS. Parental responsibility has no bearing at all on child care. You are being told an absolute croc of !!!! by your solicitor. Get a new one because its clear this one just wants to fleece you. You can get a solicitor to write a 'legal' letter to anyone for anything. By 'legal' its just BS and lies with lots of legal terms. Its not the law, its not enforceable by anyone, its just crap.

where exactly did you get this from:
As for the baby, yet again the child is with a registered body. The parental rules are that "When one parent with parental responsibility is available then the child should be in their care over and above any other party without official status."

That would mean that there is a legal framework that determines what activity you are doing (work for example) is important and totally prohibits grandparents, older siblings, aunts/uncles etc from looking after the children if one of the parents isnt doing anything 'important' like work. You must know thats just rubbish?

I think it's the residency guidelines. The OP is clearly clutching at straws.

TBagpuss

MataNui wrote: »

Solicitors will tell you whatever makes them the most money. All they are telling you is they will drag things out and send lots and lots of letters (costing you a lot more money) based on whatever the hell you want to hear.

That's simply not true (at least for any reputable solicitor)

What is correct is that where a court has to decide between a child being with one of their parents, and being with a non-parent, then usually they accept that it is better for the child to be with a parent.
It is not about parental responsibility, it is about being looked after by a parent rather than a non-parent.

If in OPs case the choices are that she can care for her own child, or that the child can be looked after by her ex's new partner, then the solicitor is absolutely correct that given that specific choice, it is likely to be reasonable for the child to be with his or her mother. If neither parent is available and the choice is between a step-parent and a 3rd party child minder then the answer might be different.

OP, whether your ex has to pay child support in the long run will depend on (if you don't agree) his income and the number of nights the children spend with him. It's unlikely that it would be reasonable for him to be paying now, on top of continuing to pay towards the mortgage for the house you are occupying.

His payment of the mortgage does not give him the right to dictate who can visit the house.

It is however in your best interests to try to reach a settlement sooner rather than later, so you know where you stand financially and can plan ahead.

FBaby

The issue though is that they both agreed to share residency and as such, the argument is what they each do during that time is up to them, and that includes childcare. The fact that OP is opting not to work on the days she doesn't have residency of the children is her choice. It's not very clear on which days she does work or who does look after the children when she does.

I think OP's biggest issue is the agreement that has now been established, that they share residency, which is different to a residency battle when one parent works and the other doesn't.