Can working together and relationship work.

Legacy_user

Ok i have posted on here many times about relationship things.

I work in an office with my partner. We are joint owners and we have no other staff. Just the 2 of us. We spend at least 8 hours a day in office. Then the rest of the time is either spent on our own for a few hours or together.

We work during the early afternoon and evening so by the time we finish it's 10pm. Very late to do anything social.

For me I am concerned that this is becoming a working partnership rather than a relationship.

I miss other people's contact. I miss the office chat with work mates about the football. I miss just other human interaction. We are at a vital point in our lives where if this is going to be a problem id rather deal sooner rather than later.

We live in my other halves town, it is a foreign country but i am starting to get to grips with the language little by little but I just feel like I'm living a life that offers not much life and excitement. I honestly have no other people in my life here maybe once a month I go for a few beers with a few customers I have but that's 3 hours amd my other half is generally nearby.

I just wondered did anyone else have the same experience working with partner. I dont mean in same call centre of 200 people but someone you actually work with. I don't know what's going on in my head regarding it at the minute all I know is that I'm extremely bored and unmotivated here.

The job is good, the money is good and it is easily a stable job that could be good for 20+ years. But the thought of living like this for 20 years feels depressing. I need other people in my life I cant just have one can I?

Primrose

You have posted several times about your situation and this one seems to be yet another brick in the block which is increasingly causing you frustration and to doubt that your life is in the right course.
It,s not good for the pair of you to be cooped up together all day. You need the stimulation and conversation of others.
I would think even long term your business will need fresh ideas as perhaps techno,only changes the way people work. You dont say what business you are in but could you employ a young work experience trainee? That would give you an additional project to focus on in your working hours.
Even compatible couples need a break from each other and some separate interests.

I think in the current set up you run a real risk of growing old before your time with no stimulation. Maybe if you had some help in the business you could take some time away and travel to see whether that satisfies your “itch” or whether it merely increases it.

balletshoes

I love my husband, we've been together for 17 years, but we'd last about a day working together, especially if we were the only 2 people in the office!

I'm with the previous poster OP, you're not happy, and you're not going to be happy continuing in this situation.

BrassicWoman

You have posted so many times now I suspect your otpions are
a) decide to live with it
b) stay in the country but find another job
c) come home; partner will either come with or won't!

Make a list of the pros and cons of each?

mr.wendal

Do you have free time in the mornings? Or weekends?

You have to make time to go and meet other people just like you would in the UK.
Were i live there are loads of activities early in the day aimed at active “retired” people but also welcome anyone free at that time. eg shift workers.
walking or cycling
learn to draw or paint

could you even start an english conversation group for locals wanting to improve? That would help you as well.

Just by going for a walk in the local park the same time each week will at least get you saying hello to the regulars.

You said in another post you want to travel, so go be a tourist where you live now.

Hope you find some way to get time to try some new stuff. good luck.

Fireflyaway

It sounds like its getting to you and you need to make a decision. Personally I think my husband and I get on well because we have space and our own interests.
My husband used to work with his brother ( I know that's a bit different) and they fell out. Being together for so long and getting on each others nerves just couldn't carry on.

comeandgo

I have worked with my husband, did it for ten years, there were only the two of us office based, other employees not office based. We did just fine and I’d do it again no problem. We have different strengths and our working lives were a different “relationship ratio”. I do not have many friends I meet or go out with, but I don’t need them, you do. Could you volunteer your skills to some organisation and you could meet new people that way?

suejb2

If you worked a 'normal' 9-5 you would have the evenings free. Flip your day round and in your case you surely have the mornings free. Can you do something with this time just for yourself?

Savvy_Sue

Some people can make it work, but what you describe doesn't sound great, OP. I agree with the suggestion to get out without him in the mornings if you're working afternoons and evenings.

DH once idly suggested me applying to work with him, until I pointed out that in the roles we'd be doing it would be very hard to take leave at the same time. And he actually did apply to where I work (unsuccessfully). I told my manager I'd resign if he was successful - again because in our respective roles it would have been difficult to take leave together.

-taff

Your lack of language skills is the problem, not working with your partner.

Friends and a social life don't magically appear, you have to work at them.

Why not try changing your working hours, I don't know what you do that requires you to be open till 10pm or why you have to start so late? Start earlier, finish earlier.

Have a day off a week where you go somewhere, or do something towards a hobby, in order to meet other people.


I worked with my partner for about 10 years, we had arguments, mostly to do with my inability to explain things when training someone, but it helped both of us becauuse we go to know each others strengths and weaknesses.

System

A fuller picture.

We work in a language academy. I am an English teacher my other half is bilingual in English and their native language.

We operate Monday to Friday around 10-12 and then 4-10pm. These are the hours in demand. It's when schools are finished and when adults finish work.

As a whole the business is a huge success. Financially we are making more than we did in the UK however we dont get paid holidays etc but that isn't a problem as we make 12 months money in about 9-10 months.

We live in a very small town that has limited facilities. The gym is a 1960s version that runs no classes or has any kind of community vibe like running clubs etc.

There are no shopping centres no social events for younger people. The average age is around 50 I would estimate. Most if the people between 20-35 (my age range) do not live here. Most go to big cities work and when they are ready to have a family move back.

My other half is the best person I know and if circumstances were right I think would make the perfect long term partner. But under these conditions I cant see it. My language skills are a problem but I would guess that if we were working in UK together and had no social scene with others the problem would still occur.

The nearest cities with any form of entertainment are around 40 minutes away. As I said we also have a lack of people to do things with. I feel sometimes smothered by other half. I can be mean like saying to them to go to their families house (1 minute walk away) just so I can have some me time but even at that. Do I want my seperate time to be spent on my own.

If it wasn't for my other half i wouldn't be living here so that's a big signal to me to say if I'm only here for them It won't last.

We spend so much time there no passion or anything anymore. No passionate kissing, no looking forward to seeing each other. We are together 4 years and it feels 24. And we are young like under 30. Should it be like this?