On-line dating experiences?

Si1983_uk

A lot of good points raised and totally understood.

The thing is, i always do read every single profile thoroughly, and very often I’ll start a message and ask questions based on what’s in their profile... still no good lol.

Fair enough, if folke don’t want to chat for what ever reason I can happily live with that, me personally would rather be told..

I get that some blokes can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, I can, and if somebody replies back and says they are not interested in chatting then I always reply back in a nice way saying ‘thankyou for taking the time in getting back to me and for your honesty’ ..

Were not all the same... honestly lol. ��

Ja7188

I see online dating as a bit of fun which may or may not lead anywhere and I follow a few rules as below...

Don't take it too seriously.

Don't worry if people don't respond - in many cases, the profiles may no longer be being used (especially on free sites like POF). In my experience, as well as first messages not getting responses, many conversations just randomly stop for no apparent reason.

If you go on dates and decide just to be friends, accept that communication may very well just die off - most people have enough friends. If you do stay in touch, see it as a bonus.

Expect to see the same people on multiple sites/ systems - don't let this frustrate you!

Don't take any notice anyone who thinks there's still a stigma to online dating - it's 2018, we all lead busy lives and in my view, the days of chatting up strangers in pubs are long gone.

Expect to go on multiple dates and for the majority, there will either be no interest on either side or only one of you will like the other. It's a numbers game - keep at it.

Expect a few absolutely awful dates and don't get down about them.

Most importantly (in my view), do NOT give out personal contact information until you've met - until then, you don't know who they are and in all likelihood, they could use your number to glean further information about you - for example, if you swap numbers then you'll each probably appear as friend suggestions on Facebook (if you use it), at which point you have either other's surnames which you could then put into LinkedIn, Google etc...

Overall, have fun! :-)

JennyP

I had all those experiences. Spent 13 years on online dating after my divorce. Had some hideous experiences. Then a male friend said okcupid was better as a site because of it's compatibility percentage. I joined. The next day a bloke messaged me - not my usual type but 88% compatible so I thought I'd be open-minded. 9 months later, we got married. My father sadly died two weeks before our wedding and my hubby was a tower of strength to both me and my mum. Posting this to say it can definitely happen. Mind you, people told me that and in the long 13 years of online dating, I really didn't believe it.

Ja7188

Not sure that OKCupid is any better than any other sites as a general rule, but that's a fantastic story - it can indeed happen!

JennyP

Ja7188 wrote: »

Not sure that OKCupid is any better than any other sites as a general rule, but that's a fantastic story - it can indeed happen!

My male friend reckoned there were less people on there just looking for sex and more people looking for relationships. But I met my hubby within a week of joining so was off the site very quickly. At first glance, the men who came out with high compatibility to me did seem a cut above the ones on other sites but they could have been just as psycho as the rest in real life.

I have to say that I was relaxed about some criteria. Not all. I wouldn't date a smoker. But hubby is shorter than me and that would once have put me off. Thete were other things too that meant I might once have ruled him out. It was not love at first sight - first meeting was awkward and he was shy. Within an hour though, I was having a great time!

Ja7188

Height does seem to be an issue for many people - quite a few ladies' profiles stipulate a minimum height of about 5'10" or higher, especially those who are quite tall themselves - but personally it doesn't bother me at all. Since I'm only about 5'8", most ladies will probably be taller than me if they're wearing heels...!

Should have added above that it's better to be upfront about any deal-breakers - smoking being the main one for me. A few people have advised me to relax that particular criterion, but based on past experience - including one short-term girlfriend years ago who seemed not to have any money in general but could always afford cigarettes - I'm going to stick to it...

Gavin83

I’m curious, do men ever stipulate on their profile that women should be below a certain weight or dress size? That seems the equivalent to me of women asking for men to be a certain height.

DUTR

Gavin83 wrote: »

I’m curious, do men ever stipulate on their profile that women should be below a certain weight or dress size? That seems the equivalent to me of women asking for men to be a certain height.

You can check the box to 'would you consider BBW' and other variables,
I guess with so few responding it makes little difference, as they are more often waited to be contacted...... and there is always the swipe left if there is too much double chin or not enough neck definition.
But the ladies have it as bad it would seem as there is a slim one on there and only this afternoon, the pics have slipped to showing too much or little to the imagination.
I guess being genuine loyal and honest is unique

annie_d

I met my husband 18 years ago on a dating web site and we are still very happily together. My daughter met her husband on a dating website 3 years ago and they are still happy too! She was 30 and a BBW. Her husband is a skinny minny. There is someone for everyone.

Oakdene

So after looking at this thread, I ditched Tinder & decided to have a go on one of the subscription Apps as I found plenty of people were matching with me on Tinder but it was like talking to a brick wall when communicating.

Decided on going for Match.com for a month which cost £29.99 (already cancelled the auto-renew) but using TCB (where I should get £29.50 CB) it's going to cost all of 49p, but I digress.

Found a couple of people local to me who share similar interests & have been talking to someone on there for a week or so now & have moved to texting rather than using the app & to my delight we are due to go for a drink on Friday - so long as nerves & lack of self confidence don't get the best of me!!