On-line dating experiences?

zarabelle

DaveyBoi1901 wrote: »

I've been on online dating for nearly 5 years now and not even a sniff. Must be either because I am "too honest" in my profile or woman don't want a fella with an illness. Several sites, paid and free ones. Still on them now and check several times a day in the vain hope.

Maybe have a friend look at your profile and give some feedback? I've done that for a couple of guys I know and it's helped them figure out what was putting women off. While I don't think you should lie about stuff in your profile, I do think you can change how you are perceived. If I saw a profile where someone only focused on an illness or their limitations, I would imagine a future that was centred around just that. You are more than your illness, people need to see that.

KxMx

As a woman with an illness yes it's in my profile but it is absolutely not the focus.

I've had 2 dates in about 4 years although I haven't been using the site anywhere near continuously.

krlyr

AubreyMac wrote: »

The job thing is an interesting one. I’ve heard many people say they couldn’t date someone with a low level job (such as retail, factory, waitressing). I don’t think I’m as fussy about someone’s job.

I have to say, I would read more into someone's job than just what they earn. I earn enough on my own to pay my mortgage and have some spare, so I'm not after someone else's money - but I've dated someone with a lower level job and found I struggled with their overall attitude. They didn't particularly care for their job, wanted a promotion just because they thought the role above meant less work for more money, and that attitude spilled out into other areas of their life. I'm not one of these who lives to work, but I've studied 6 years of evening classes to get a qualification and I'm working my way up the ladder in my role - I would like to meet someone with some form of ambition in their life. But equally, someone in a very senior/well-paid position, I might wonder if they were a little too ambitious or focussed on their career! I'd also probably be slightly put off by someone in a sales type position just because of the personality I find sales roles seem to attract, and I may be a bit hesitant about someone in a position that involved lots of traveling (I'm a real homebody) or shiftwork (my stepdad does nightshifts and I have seen how it impacts on a relationship).

I don't think I'd rule someone out completely, but there's a few reasons I might find someone's job relevant for more than just their income.

System

krlyr wrote: »

I have to say, I would read more into someone's job than just what they earn. I earn enough on my own to pay my mortgage and have some spare, so I'm not after someone else's money - but I've dated someone with a lower level job and found I struggled with their overall attitude. They didn't particularly care for their job, wanted a promotion just because they thought the role above meant less work for more money, and that attitude spilled out into other areas of their life. I'm not one of these who lives to work, but I've studied 6 years of evening classes to get a qualification and I'm working my way up the ladder in my role - I would like to meet someone with some form of ambition in their life. But equally, someone in a very senior/well-paid position, I might wonder if they were a little too ambitious or focussed on their career! I'd also probably be slightly put off by someone in a sales type position just because of the personality I find sales roles seem to attract, and I may be a bit hesitant about someone in a position that involved lots of traveling (I'm a real homebody) or shiftwork (my stepdad does nightshifts and I have seen how it impacts on a relationship).

I don't think I'd rule someone out completely, but there's a few reasons I might find someone's job relevant for more than just their income.

I'm probably one to rule out. I have no desire to advance at work (at the moment), mainly because the extra responsibility would result in extra stress, and seeing as my main trigger for bipolar episodes is stress that wouldn't be good for me. Currently i'm happy in my role as i have a good work/stress balance and my mood is fairly stable. Its not to say i never want to progress ever, but for the time being (and for the last 5 years) i've found i'm better and happier doing what i do now.

dekaspace

On my disability, the few times I have gotten past the first step with women and they ask about me I mention the aspergers and it always makes them go silent

Si1983_uk

I can send tons of messages on POF and no reply, I'm as honest on there as you could ever want me but never have luck. What really does my head in is when you get completely blanked, I wouldn't mind if they acknowledged my message and said 'no' if that's what they want to say lol

krlyr

Si1983_uk wrote: »

I can send tons of messages on POF and no reply, I'm as honest on there as you could ever want me but never have luck. What really does my head in is when you get completely blanked, I wouldn't mind if they acknowledged my message and said 'no' if that's what they want to say lol

I've gone back to guys who I've not been interested in - being polite but making it clear it's a no, and had replies telling me to change my mind etc. so sometimes it's easier just to ignore them!

PeacefulWaters

Si1983_uk wrote: »

I can send tons of messages on POF and no reply, I'm as honest on there as you could ever want me but never have luck. What really does my head in is when you get completely blanked, I wouldn't mind if they acknowledged my message and said 'no' if that's what they want to say lol

It used to irritate me.

Then I received a message from a lady who I found less than pleasing on the eye. And I immediately understood.

KxMx

I always reply to messages when it's a no from me (thanks but I'm not interested/ live too far away & want to date locally as per profile).

Often I get subsequent messages asking why or them telling me they can travel -wow I hadn't thought of that :rotfl:

Sometimes I then get further messages saying "well you're ugly anyway" ... Or a guy recently sent me about 6 saying how sexy i was and did I want to see how I turned him on :rotfl:

But as far as I'm concerned no means no and I am not going to respond beyond that first no thank you.

StaffieTerrier

Si1983_uk wrote: »

I can send tons of messages on POF and no reply, I'm as honest on there as you could ever want me but never have luck. What really does my head in is when you get completely blanked, I wouldn't mind if they acknowledged my message and said 'no' if that's what they want to say lol

It would depend on the message that was sent whether I replied or not. I wouldn't reply to a message just saying 'hi' or 'how are you?'. I would always reply to message if someone had taken time to read my profile and write something about it, whether I wanted to meet them or not.