This for 30 years....?

jayII

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Thanks everyone. No I'm not going to have more kids to get time off that's for sure!
I have just started working full time after 11 years part time to raise our child so I suppose the transition needs getting used to. I miss not meeting my mum for coffee, being able to food shop in the week when its quiet, go for a walk in day light, not spend the weekend cleaning the house etc.
30 years missing out on simple stuff feels like I'm wishing my life away until I retire.
I suppose setting a goal might help. I have calculated by being strict once we buy, we could pay off the mortgage in 12 years then maybe I could go part time. However I'd feel guilty about my husband working and me not putting the hours in.
As I say my job is OK. I just don't feel its more important than all the other stuff I could be doing! I resent going to work in the dark, coming home in the dark and missing out on the world.

It is hard isn't it! I've done 33 years so far, 8 years in a PAYE job then I worked from home, still full-time, when my children were babies/young children--and have been in another PAYE job for the last 10 or so years. I have another 18 years to go until retirement age.

I'd love to work part time but it's not realistic, bills and mortgage need to be paid and money doesn't grow on trees. I leave home around 7.30am and I'm lucky if I'm home by 6.30pm, 5 days a week. I try to get out for a quick walk at lunchtime, when work isn't too busy, so I do see daylight.

I make it easier by sharing out the housework load--OH gets home before me so he does the cleaning and starts tea off if it's not a slowcooker day. I do the laundry, meal planning, shopping, finances and we share the cooking.

However we rarely do housework at the weekends--laundry is done after work and either hung up inside, tumble dried, or hung outside the next morning before work (in warmer/lighter weather). Shopping is done online and delivered one evening during the week. OH does the cleaning in the hour before I get home, then we eat around 7pm.

Also to reduce evening stress, meals are prepped/defrosted the night before we need them then either slowcooked whilst we're at work the next day, or OH pops them in the oven when he gets home. I also batch cook things like lasagne when I have a bit of time or when I'm anyway cooking at the weekend. Finances are done as and when--usually early Saturday morning when the rest of the household is asleep and I have peace (I love numbers so it's not a chore ).

Doing an hour to 90 mins each evening means weekends are free for days out, relaxing and so on.

It is hard, but I wouldn't have my lovely house, good food and financial peace of mind without my job, so life would be a lot worse if I couldn't work.

ETA: sorry for the essay, I do tend to ramble on.

Samsung_Note2

You have four potential life changing days each week....most will say £20 spent on the lottery is wasted.

But hey as Del boy used to say...:D

trailingspouse

You have 24 hours in a day, same as everyone. What you do with it is up to you.

You don't have to watch TV, you don't have to play computer games, you don't have to go out of an evening and get so blatted that the whole of the following day is wasted. But you can if you want to. It's up to you.

You need to decide what you do want to do, and then invest every spare moment into making it happen.

sukysue

I feel for you my dear it is horrible working f/t . After I had the DC I always worked 30 hrs. I calculated it wasn't much less after accounting paying for tax and increased pension and NI and it gave me an extra day off a week which was very welcome indeed. Do you have to work f/t can you do a few less hours? I think it may make all the difference to you.

bugslet

xapprenticex wrote: »

I happen to enjoy my job but I still agree with you.

I dont think life should be like this, living to work for someone else.

I'd love to work for myself one day, even if i end up doing more hours, but I'd be doing it for me and those who come after me.

Too much free time is bad for me though, ive only been off from 22nd and im bored.

Trust me xapprenticex, your customer becomes your boss, and if you decide you are ill or you just fancy a duvet day, bad luck, you just lost your customer. Having said that, I'd find it difficult to work for someone else.

I clean a room or two most nights, so by the weekend I've little to do.

I have felt like you, it's a slog, but if you want any self pride then you work if you are able, otherwise you are living off other people. And if you really want to, you get the chance to retire early.

Fireflyaway

Thanks everyone. Its great to feel support, I did expect a few people to tell me to man up but that didn't happen. Thank you.
I suppose I need to readjust my routines. Thanks for the tips- Yes I could shop online and do more house work after work so the weekend is free. Maybe do a room a day to keep on top of everything.
As someone mentioned, yes I can take the odd day off but I have 25 days allowance and trying to cover school holidays is a mission. I know I'm not alone in that, its just hard to work and feel I'm there enough for little one as well.
I really get the point about planning some nice things and seeing the benefit of the longer working hours. Very good point. I now earn nearly double what I used to but don't see the benefit. All I feel is I am giving up more of my time. I should do something to realise its worth it.

bugslet

You could try and log your hours for a couple of weeks, it might throw up some surprises, or not.

See how many hours you spend working, which may or may not include lunch break, commuting, house work/maintenance, home admin, entertainment (coffe with your mum, seeing a film, eating out), sleep, whatever fits your life.

You have 168 hours, see how it's used up.

Fireflyaway

Tracking my hours would be an interesting experiment! I've just worked out that work only takes around 22% of my time. Maybe that's it. Perhaps I'm just not utilising what time I do have well enough. Maybe I need to plan a few things so they get done. I do think the darkness cuts the day down. In summer I'd go for a walk / read a book in the garden etc whereas now I just watch telly. Doing several short activities would probably be more fulfilling than one longer TV session!
The thought of work tomorrow just gets me down. Its that here we go again feeling....

badmemory

What I used to find helped was arrive at work a couple of minutes early & just sit in the car changing my mindset from Mum to employee & then reverse it on the way home. Even though I am retired now I still find it helpful, especially if I am about to deal with something difficult, to have a couple of minutes just "being". When I was still working & visiting Mum in a care home it was vital.

richdeniro

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Does anyone else feel a bit down faced with the prospect of working for the next 20,30,40 years?!
Part of me feels lazy for complaining, but I feel I'm missing out on so much being in work. The job itself is OK. Close to home, pays OK but during the week I have no time for anything. I suppose that's normal.
The world has so much to offer and I might not make it to retirement or be too poor / immobile to enjoy anything when I do. Feel like life is passing me by. How do others cope with this?

I feel like this and am fast approaching 40. I don't mind my job but just wish I had more money to do the things I enjoy (travel mostly), buy a nicer flat and not to have to worry about money so much.

I don't think the work/life balance we have being in the year 2018 is particularly healthy and a 4 day week would be so much better for everyones wellbeing. Knowing my luck it will come into force the day I retire.

https://twitter.com/4Day_Week