This for 30 years....?

Deep_In_Debt

I have worked for about 33 years so far. I live on my own and had a mortgage so I've had to work. I was lucky enough to have paid off my mortgage in 2014 but still have to work in order to live, pay my bills and maintain the house. I had several jobs in order to pay off my mortgage and even working weekends.

At least now, I earn enough to live on so I don't have to work all hours and work more locally so no long, horrible commutes to London any more as I only have a 20 minute drive to work. I quite enjoy my job and now have a quality of life as I am home at a sensible time in the evenings so if I want to have an evening out, I can do that.

The time has passed really quickly but I am looking forward to retirement!

Fireflyaway

Thanks everyone. No I'm not going to have more kids to get time off that's for sure!
I have just started working full time after 11 years part time to raise our child so I suppose the transition needs getting used to. I miss not meeting my mum for coffee, being able to food shop in the week when its quiet, go for a walk in day light, not spend the weekend cleaning the house etc.
30 years missing out on simple stuff feels like I'm wishing my life away until I retire.
I suppose setting a goal might help. I have calculated by being strict once we buy, we could pay off the mortgage in 12 years then maybe I could go part time. However I'd feel guilty about my husband working and me not putting the hours in.
As I say my job is OK. I just don't feel its more important than all the other stuff I could be doing! I resent going to work in the dark, coming home in the dark and missing out on the world.

balletshoes

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Thanks everyone. No I'm not going to have more kids to get time off that's for sure!
I have just started working full time after 11 years part time to raise our child so I suppose the transition needs getting used to. I miss not meeting my mum for coffee, being able to food shop in the week when its quiet, go for a walk in day light, not spend the weekend cleaning the house etc.
30 years missing out on simple stuff feels like I'm wishing my life away until I retire.
I suppose setting a goal might help. I have calculated by being strict once we buy, we could pay off the mortgage in 12 years then maybe I could go part time. However I'd feel guilty about my husband working and me not putting the hours in.
As I say my job is OK. I just don't feel its more important than all the other stuff I could be doing!
I resent going to work in the dark, coming home in the dark and missing out on the world.

those aspects i've bolded are transitional and short-term, you will get used to them again. I don't "waste" time shopping instore, I do my food shop online instead. I do spend some of my weekend housekeeping, but certainly not all (or anywhere near most!) of it. Now you're working full time, rope your child and husband into a fairer share of the household chores. Once the weather gets milder and the daylight hours longer, you'll still be able to go for a walk after work finishes.

As you will now have more household income due to your increase in work hours, I think it could be a good idea for you to "plan" for how to enjoy the extra income, but make it a reasonable and achievable plan, don't overstretch yourselves or you might find yourself getting even more resentful of working more.

getmore4less

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Thanks everyone. No I'm not going to have more kids to get time off that's for sure!
I have just started working full time after 11 years part time to raise our child so I suppose the transition needs getting used to. I miss not meeting my mum for coffee, being able to food shop in the week when its quiet, go for a walk in day light, not spend the weekend cleaning the house etc.
30 years missing out on simple stuff feels like I'm wishing my life away until I retire.
I suppose setting a goal might help. I have calculated by being strict once we buy, we could pay off the mortgage in 12 years then maybe I could go part time. However I'd feel guilty about my husband working and me not putting the hours in.
As I say my job is OK. I just don't feel its more important than all the other stuff I could be doing! I resent going to work in the dark, coming home in the dark and missing out on the world.

As I pointed out you had around 136hours to fit those things in during Mon-Fri along with the child care, if they were taking that long there was something seriously wrong.

You can still walk in daylight with breaks in the work day, plenty of hours to do the shopping(and some on-line) and housework(should be less anyway if not in so much) and not have to use weekends.

if you really want your daytime back get a job that is shifts evening, overnight,morning

takman

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I miss not meeting my mum for coffee, being able to food shop in the week when its quiet, go for a walk in day light, not spend the weekend cleaning the house etc.

This is one thing i'm always surprised about is people going shopping on the weekends!. Why do people want to waste their weekends going food shopping. If you don't want to do it online then simply go one evening after work. Sometimes we go at 10pm during the week and it's dead quiet with hardly anyone there. I also wouldn't be cleaning during the weekend either.

dawyldthing

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Thanks everyone. No I'm not going to have more kids to get time off that's for sure!
I have just started working full time after 11 years part time to raise our child so I suppose the transition needs getting used to. I miss not meeting my mum for coffee, being able to food shop in the week when its quiet, go for a walk in day light, not spend the weekend cleaning the house etc.
30 years missing out on simple stuff feels like I'm wishing my life away until I retire.
I suppose setting a goal might help. I have calculated by being strict once we buy, we could pay off the mortgage in 12 years then maybe I could go part time. However I'd feel guilty about my husband working and me not putting the hours in.
As I say my job is OK. I just don't feel its more important than all the other stuff I could be doing! I resent going to work in the dark, coming home in the dark and missing out on the world.

Go on a weekend to meet your mum for coffee, go shopping really early or really late - it's generally quieter. Do an hour a day of cleaning so more weekends free. Live somewhere cheaper so you can work less.

StaffieTerrier

I've got a job I enjoy, so it doesn't feel like I'm wasting time. I do try to spread the chores over the working week so I can enjoy my weekends. I do the food shop once a week on the way home from work. It only adds 30 minutes to the time I'd get home. If I go at the weekend it seems to take 2-3 hours out of the day.

I also like having trips and holidays planned to look forward to.

NeilCr

From someone rather further down the age chain!

I am 65 this year. Ten years ago I took the decision to take early retirement. I was lucky (!) enough to be financially stable enough to do this. Both my parents had died when they were relatively young. No compensation to have the money - much rather they were still here.

A year before I decided to go down this route I had separated from my wife. I, also, was very happy in my job.

I took a big breath and did it. I moved to the coast (I’d always wanted to live by the sea) to an area I knew and had friends in. I haven’t regretted it for a single moment. A year after I moved here I met my current partner and I have an active and happy life.

It sounds ideal but it takes work. Having time to have that coffee with a friend/go to the gym/do the shopping is great. The opposite side of this is that you suddenly have time to fill. You don’t have the natural gossip/connection that you do when you work. I joined the gym - - a chess club - became a volunteer. And, still, I have days on my own. That’s fine. It suits me (us) with our relationship and I like some ‘me” time

It took me a year to get my head round it. I do think you need a plan and be realistic.

They say you are a long time dead. You can also be a long time not in work!

Deep_In_Debt

As others have said, do your food shopping in the evening. I pass by a big Morrisons on my way home so pop in once a week in the evening to get my shopping. Yes, it means I get home a bit later but it's only one evening a week, plus the traffic is lighter once I've left the supermarket.

In terms of housework, it's only me here (and a cat) so I tend to clean up as I go along. However, I do tend to get up early on a Saturday and do my housework then so that I have the rest of the day free.

Lizabeth21

And presumably you cam take days off occasionally....